Copy of Christmas Letter to All..Merry Christmas!

Greetings and Salutations from St. Louis!

It's been a busy year this year starting with our little Catherine turning a whole 1
years old in March. Shortly after that she was walking. She's about 21 mos old now and a very busy girl. She loves to sing and dance and already knows how to work the stereo. She has recently even learned how to put on her own shoes and is still working on putting on her jacket right side up she gets her arms in there just upside down.

Dyllan began middle school this year ( junior high) and is a very bright student. At
our first parent teacher conference all they had to say were wonderful things about how loved he is by the other students and what a bright and intelligent boy he is. We were floored. He has also received the Aaronic Priesthood at the end of October and is in the office of the deacon. His first time passing out the sacrament had him pretty scared but the older boys were great helps to him and he's got the hang of it now.


Brittany. She's 13 now and definitely a teenager. She is in her last year of middle
school and has been preparing for high school. The students in 8th grade recently worked with the school counsellors to choose their classes for freshman year. DuBray is a wonderful middle school, very well organized and I know she has made a lot of friends. She's also been doing great with her studies this year. Way to go Britt! About 2 months ago Brittany and several girls her age walked 12.5 miles from the Missouri Bottom Trail to the St Louis Temple. All of the girls were exhausted but I have never seen our Brittany so determined to accomplish something so important to her. We were glowing.All of the girls were exhausted but I have never seen our Brittany so determined to accomplish something so important to her. We were glowing.



Nathan is still working as a laser scientist at Northrup Grumman here in St
Charles. The company has been struggling slightly at the end of this quarter but the
future still looks good and “people are still buying. It's the nature of the business.” He recently had surgery and handled it fairly well. Was fun trying to talk to him with his “happy” meds kicking in. I don't think anyone ever makes any sense in that state. He is still very busy with his ward callings as the Financial Clerk and Priesthood instructor on Sundays.(yeah right only on Sundays)


As for me, I have a blog that I write on all the time at
www.squaringself.blogspot.com where you can follow what I'm doing, how I'm coping and
everything going on with me. I'm a slow writer compared to typer so it's like my journal of sorts. I myself have been struggling with hyperthyroidism since about August, that we know of. It makes you tired, nervous, anxiety ridden, gives you a fast heart rate and makes you hot. ( not like that but I am already you didn't have to point that out) I have been on medication to help my heart cope with my thyroid and have recently undergone radiactive iodine therapy to treat the thyroid and won't know much until February I'll keep everyone posted on my blog. I look forward to being able to sleep someday soon.


From our family to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We hope this
finds you well and look forward to hearing from you. Stay safe and warm.

Finally

Wow did I really get some sleep there? I never usually sleep more than 3-4 hours at a time so I guess professionals call that interrupted sleep. Well I had about5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. To most of you this is nothing to cheer about but for me? Whoooohoooo!!! The worst is over, so far. I have a dr apt tomorrow and I guess we'll talk more then on the 'what next' agenda for me health wise.

The most disconcerting part of all of this was my toddler's reaction to it all. "What do you mean no? Why can't you cuddle with me?" Was awful. Hard on both of us for sure. But, there is a small silver lining. I have two older children and have already learned when there are temper tantrums just let it ride. If they are causing physical harm all you do is move them to an area that has less stuff to throw at you lol. I have learned to wait it out and not take it personally so when she was throwing tantrums because Mom was 'being mean' to her was no big thing. But I missed cuddling her too especially if she was hurt or hungry or tired and I knew it. Not everyone is a quick learner and not everyone pays that kind of observance to their kids.

Study them once in a while. You'll be surprised.

Day two and counting...

Yesterday was so up and down.

Again with the I'm cold, no I'm hot. Again with the fever feeling adding lots of nausea with it this time. When the nausea would leave I would grab whatever to eat cause it doesn't last long. It still feels like a really bad flu with lots of pain at the base of my neck which is good because that's where the thyroid is.

I have been tossing everything disposable that I touch in my own garbage like a good girl and since no one is allowed to use the same bathroom all my laundry is in there until I have enough to wash some lol. Such a weird experience. Almost like living singlewith roommates. You remember roommates in college right? You have to live with them, you have to share your food and the tv with them. But you can't hug them all the time cause they'll look at you funny and you don't play 'toys' with them. Lol. Kinda like that around here can't hug for too long, asked not to hold the baby since she's so young, and can't hang around the family room and touch toys or watch tv cause even though we can't see it, radiation is present. Although to my understanding I should be more worried about if I sweat around them or share food with them because of saliva. But they "suggested" so I'm trying.

Toddler girl has not been handling this well at all. Yesterday she acted out and cried almost the entire day, broke my heart. Even though her big sister was there to help her out and play with her, didn't matter, "I want my mom". I feel guilty but I keep smiling and saying just a couple more days baby girl then I'm all yours. She has her big brother home today they have this really cool connection to each other that I even knew about before she was born. I have been really blessed with very special dreams that are important to how I raise my children and I'm grateful that I am privy to that information.

Hubby hasn't once been around me, of course they say at least at arms length, you know, 2 feet is good but 4 feet is better kind of thing. He hates it obviously. We are that 'annoying' couple that you see in the supermarket kissing by the apples, and then by the cereal, and then by the milk. You know, one of "those". We believe in public display of affection and people have every right to avert their eyes if it offends them lol. We won't mind either way, we're still in our own little newly wed world. Hope that never changes, but anyways. He literally pouts, grumpy face, bottom lip out. Occasional hugs, tiny kisses. But like I said before, it's for my good, and his lol. This too shall pass.

Hopefully the headache and dizzy will subside. I can handle the nausea, been pregnant before, and I can handle the pain in my neck, not as bad as the biopsy.

Sooooo, what's new with you?

Day One of Radioactive Therapy

I feel like I was just out partying all night last night and never got any sleep. That bites 'cause I never got any of the fun lol.

Yesterday at about 2:20pm I sat in the Radiology department answering doctor's questions and asking a few of my own about the side effects of radioactive iodine. One of which is called a thyroid storm, it kills you. I asked how you know when you're having one. He said you'll literally feel like you're dying. If that happens call the emergency room and get back here as fast as you can (yikes). Then one of the radiology techs brought in a big white lead container with my capsule inside and specific instructions. "Ok here is what you're going to do. You need to lift off the lid and it's heavy so be careful. You're going to take the bottle out of the container, take the lid off, hold it up to your mouth and swallow it. Watch out for the packet in there don't swallow that. When you're done grab your water and help yourself out this door ok?" They literally stood about 8 feet away from me while I took the pill which I'm sorry made me laugh, and then I did as instructed and went home. Trying not to giggle at that experience the whole way home.

Let me just say that radiation, gammas, can be felt a lot quicker than expected. Not quite immediate but soon enough was a weird feeling. As time progressed for an hour or two I actually felt good and was waiting for any of the side effects to kick in. Don't worry. They did. 6-8 hours in I feel cold. Like the flu really cold big time chills. Then about an hour after that I'm hot. Then cold. Then hot. Soooooo annoying! I feel ever worse today though like I mentioned at the beginning. Sore throat, minor ache near my thyroid, and just wiped out. Soo tired.

The worst part about this is, I can't hold my baby girl at all if I can help it and only for short periods of time when I have to. I had to hear her cry for mom when mom and mom couldn't do anything about it. She's used to sharing my food so when I tried to eat some dinner she was angry with me that I wouldn't share. I feel terrible about the way she must think of me right now. The good news is children this age forget quickly lol so I have that on my side. From what I understand this will get worse then get better. I've been drinking massive amounts of water to flush this out so I can be around my family. Some precautions I won't have to worry about in 4 days so that's good.

I'll keep you posted.