New Year's resolutions. Hate them! Usually. * winks* The past couple of years I've been in a health battle that I'm tired of not losing but certainly not winning either. I thought I'd have reached more progress by now but that's probably because I have only been doing what I can which lately has been the bare minimum. Had the opportunity to coordinate an event about healthy eating and getting into exercise with app helps and all. Was a fantastic event, one I wish had been better attended as all of these things were so incredibly helpful.
There are some genious ideas out there concerning healthy eating and diet. Stay away from trends and fast 'diets' when I say diet I mean a permanent change, fads are almost always a mistake. It isn't easy changing you habits when you get used to a certain way. I luckily grew up with parents that always made sure there was a garden and fresh vegetables at my fingertips. Now they also have a few apple trees, I believe a nut tree or two, a greenhouse, a garden, and their raspberry bushes have taken off! Makes it easy to eat healthier just having it conveniently around you. So, that's been my first step. Make sure that I concentrate more on fresh fruits and veggies being at the ready than snacky foods to snack on. I'm more likely now to grab some salad, an apple, or yogurt for a snack than junk food. Helps when you limit your snacky foods to the healthiest you can find that everyone will enjoy. Corn chips and salsa are by far a better choice than potato chips and dip. Whole grain round crackers with cheddar slices rather than buttery rounds with american cheese. You'd be surprised how taking your favorite snack and creating a healthier alternative can make such a difference in your dress size but it does.
Being diabetic I already watch my carb intake ( carbs=sugar) so some of these lifestyle changes came because my body said it didn't want the crap anymore it only wants the good stuff. Hopefully this never happens to you, give it the good stuff! I also rarely get to eat chocolate, says the chocoholic, but I do get to have dark chocolate on occasion which I actually like better. I don't know when it happens but somewhere in adulthood things start tasting too fatty and too sugary and sweet. I can barely eat a store bought cake anymore I'd much rather bake homemade and have a thin layer of icing or no icing at all. Tastes better to me.
I also participate on MYFITNESSPAL. Wonderful tool this is! It keeps track of your caloric intake, gives you notes as you enter your food such as good this food is high in protein or be careful this is high in fat. Love it! It also keeps track of my weight goal progression and my daily exercise. When you add your friends you can all see how well you're progressing together. It will automatically show your exercise to encourage each other to participate and keep going as well as showing that you made it under your calorie goals, hopefully. But not too under, then you put yourself in starvation mode and end up storing fat every time you eat instead of your body recognizing you're always getting fed. Six small meals a day does a body good and will actually help you lose weight. Don't forget to drink at least 10-12 8oz glasses of water a day keep cleaning out those toxins and letting your body function to it's fullest abilities.
I have been working on being able to jog again for about 4-5 months now and can jog for longer periods of time. I started working my way up to walking 3 miles in less than an hour ( 40 mins is what my avg turned out to be) and when I finally reached that goal so as not to harm my body and let it build up muscle I started the couch to 5k where you combine running and walking to work up to a nice jog. Not there yet but I am so thankful that I started and I'll keep trying. I have better days when I jog, my mind is sharper, my energy is higher and I'm just a lot more smiley. :)
I am still super ambitious and very hard on myself when I don't reach my goals when I think I should. My body will progress and do what it needs to do the way it was created and I have to learn to be patient. Results that happen overnight are temporary. Results that happen over a slow progression last a lifetime. Hang in there with me!
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Always Learning
I love to learn. Any question or single thought that enters my mind will and can take me on a wild journey of facts and opinions whether by the internet or books. While I'm studying the one thought or question it almost always leads to another and another. I can spend hours, even days on a single subject just to find meaning and understand it.
Some things no matter how much I research or how many materials I pour through, I am confused. So many contrary opinions and ideas will lead me more to an inner debate that I can't win rather than a simple answer. Leaving me feeling turmoil and chaos rather than some level of peace. I could do without this feeling. I guess with some things, you just never figure it out.
Relationships elude me. I don't think I've ever been good at making new friends or even starting new relationships because I never know what to say or how to act. I'm forever scared I'll say the wrong thing so some assume my silence is arrogance, well it's not. Abraham Lincoln once said, " It is better to remain silent and thought of a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." One of my favorite quotes lol. I believe that friendship is earned not freely given and because of that I call very few friend. It's actually a rarity and one who I call friend should always consider themselves in high regard to me as I don't throw that word around easily or without weight.
I've always been the type of person that if I call you friend I will give it my all. I'll help any way I can, I'll be there whenever you need me, I'll even hang around in the background if you're not sure you really like me right now. What hurts me most and causes me to be selective with my friends are those who can't seem to be kind about me when I'm not in the room. Those who choose to assume instead of asking me outright ( be brave I don't bite), or even those who see my faults the faults I see as the worst of myself and not only choose not to help me overcome or improve them but rather judge me or point them out to others and use them against me. A new pet peeve I've discovered are people who claim to know me and proceed to make up fantasies of things I've said or done. Very puzzling.
Mom's usually always feel inadequate when it comes to their children. Quite simply put we worry about them all the time and worry if we are making the right decisions to help shape them and mold them into active participants in our societies, communities and churches. Not an easy task and some opt not to complicate themselves by adding children to their lives for this very reason, the responsibility of another human being. As much as there are times that I wish I could just be the same person to everyone let's face it that's never going to happen. Everyone perceives life in their own unique way so as a result even though I have a foundation that is the same to all three of my children, yes I treat them differently. The foundations I speak of is the eternal love and reverence I have as their mother that will never change. But even discipline is so unique to each individual. What might work for one child just doesn't seem to fit in with another. This is a hard relationship to work on for me, I wish they'd just all read my mind, understand what I need them to and be happy. Ahhh such a nice dream isn't it?
I have learned over the years in marriage, after a fight, give yourself a few minutes to cry or breathe or whatever it is you need to do to find your patience with your spouse again and then apologize. I am quick to apologize in quarrels for my responsibility in it whether that's raising my voice or even something harsh I might have said that I don't really believe to be true. I do this without worrying if it's reciprocated. I have to live with me for eternity and be able to look myself in the mirror each morning and know that I'm doing my very best in this world. Just like others have to accept their faults and responsibilities for their parts in this world. As a result of being quick to apologize I am also quick to forgive. Trust of course is another issue that has to be earned and sometimes if abused enough never returned, but forgiving and not hanging it over their head again that I have learned to do.
Confidence really affects how we see ourselves and how we see others. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities and talents is an important part of life. Some may choose to be easily offended at the slightest things you do well, usually due to the fact that they can't. That's a jealousy thing and not something you can control when others choose it. I personally am happy for others when they achieve things they've worked hard on, or even marvel at their raw talent and abilities that I may not possess. Why bring them down, we should be supportive and shine that light on them when they are doing something well. If you find yourself withdrawing from people that are good at things you're not I guess that's your choice but if you would like to improve those things withdrawing would be a big mistake as they are right in front of you and can help you improve. Don't compare yourself to them, simply do the best you can, you may never be as good as they are but you will still be better than when you started. I'm always afraid to learn something new or even embarrassed when I have to relearn something I've already done well but forgotten. Can't let that stop me if I find joy in those things now can I.
I don't claim in any respect to have it all figured out, nor do I believe I ever will, but I am trying. That's all I have, I don't have perfection no one does, I have effort and love and commitment. Committing myself to service for my family, church callings, and those in need who ask for it. I will always keep trying no matter how high that hill is in front of me willing me to fall back down and give up. I choose to keep learning and growing. I choose to endure.
Some things no matter how much I research or how many materials I pour through, I am confused. So many contrary opinions and ideas will lead me more to an inner debate that I can't win rather than a simple answer. Leaving me feeling turmoil and chaos rather than some level of peace. I could do without this feeling. I guess with some things, you just never figure it out.
Relationships elude me. I don't think I've ever been good at making new friends or even starting new relationships because I never know what to say or how to act. I'm forever scared I'll say the wrong thing so some assume my silence is arrogance, well it's not. Abraham Lincoln once said, " It is better to remain silent and thought of a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." One of my favorite quotes lol. I believe that friendship is earned not freely given and because of that I call very few friend. It's actually a rarity and one who I call friend should always consider themselves in high regard to me as I don't throw that word around easily or without weight.
I've always been the type of person that if I call you friend I will give it my all. I'll help any way I can, I'll be there whenever you need me, I'll even hang around in the background if you're not sure you really like me right now. What hurts me most and causes me to be selective with my friends are those who can't seem to be kind about me when I'm not in the room. Those who choose to assume instead of asking me outright ( be brave I don't bite), or even those who see my faults the faults I see as the worst of myself and not only choose not to help me overcome or improve them but rather judge me or point them out to others and use them against me. A new pet peeve I've discovered are people who claim to know me and proceed to make up fantasies of things I've said or done. Very puzzling.
Mom's usually always feel inadequate when it comes to their children. Quite simply put we worry about them all the time and worry if we are making the right decisions to help shape them and mold them into active participants in our societies, communities and churches. Not an easy task and some opt not to complicate themselves by adding children to their lives for this very reason, the responsibility of another human being. As much as there are times that I wish I could just be the same person to everyone let's face it that's never going to happen. Everyone perceives life in their own unique way so as a result even though I have a foundation that is the same to all three of my children, yes I treat them differently. The foundations I speak of is the eternal love and reverence I have as their mother that will never change. But even discipline is so unique to each individual. What might work for one child just doesn't seem to fit in with another. This is a hard relationship to work on for me, I wish they'd just all read my mind, understand what I need them to and be happy. Ahhh such a nice dream isn't it?
I have learned over the years in marriage, after a fight, give yourself a few minutes to cry or breathe or whatever it is you need to do to find your patience with your spouse again and then apologize. I am quick to apologize in quarrels for my responsibility in it whether that's raising my voice or even something harsh I might have said that I don't really believe to be true. I do this without worrying if it's reciprocated. I have to live with me for eternity and be able to look myself in the mirror each morning and know that I'm doing my very best in this world. Just like others have to accept their faults and responsibilities for their parts in this world. As a result of being quick to apologize I am also quick to forgive. Trust of course is another issue that has to be earned and sometimes if abused enough never returned, but forgiving and not hanging it over their head again that I have learned to do.
Confidence really affects how we see ourselves and how we see others. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities and talents is an important part of life. Some may choose to be easily offended at the slightest things you do well, usually due to the fact that they can't. That's a jealousy thing and not something you can control when others choose it. I personally am happy for others when they achieve things they've worked hard on, or even marvel at their raw talent and abilities that I may not possess. Why bring them down, we should be supportive and shine that light on them when they are doing something well. If you find yourself withdrawing from people that are good at things you're not I guess that's your choice but if you would like to improve those things withdrawing would be a big mistake as they are right in front of you and can help you improve. Don't compare yourself to them, simply do the best you can, you may never be as good as they are but you will still be better than when you started. I'm always afraid to learn something new or even embarrassed when I have to relearn something I've already done well but forgotten. Can't let that stop me if I find joy in those things now can I.
I don't claim in any respect to have it all figured out, nor do I believe I ever will, but I am trying. That's all I have, I don't have perfection no one does, I have effort and love and commitment. Committing myself to service for my family, church callings, and those in need who ask for it. I will always keep trying no matter how high that hill is in front of me willing me to fall back down and give up. I choose to keep learning and growing. I choose to endure.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Lazy is a Sour Attitude
Unfortunately laziness is becoming a more acceptable attitude than hard work. Bugs me. I see kids who no longer fight for employment and employers who no longer bother hiring teenagers which makes it hard for those teens who actually are hard working to get a job and earn their keep. Also bugs me. Alot! I see video games and television replacing books and imaginations and let's face it Hollywood is all about the writing. If the script sucks it doesn't come to life but no one ever reminds the kids of this fact they all want to be famous actors not realizing that they are at the mercy of the writers in the first place. Have to be in touch with your imagination to be a writer. The challenge is to create new worlds that only exist in your mind not regurgitate what's already there. Of course Hollywood themselves have gotten lazy now redoing movies more than creating new thoughts and ideas.
There is satisfaction in hard work. Getting a project started is one thing, but when you complete it! Best feeling in the world! Interruptions and distractions are everywhere all the time and can make us excuse ourselves from completing tasks that are more important than our facebook accounts or our tweets. Sometimes is just plain ok to turn the computer off, ignore the phone. The world will be ok while you're busy. I assure you it will still turn, it will still progress, it will move on. The whole point of these technologies interestingly enough was for work. Teams and team leaders that needed to be in constant contact with each other on various projects to get them all completed well and on time. Even they are distracted by angry birds and candy crush apps showing a fall in production. It's a choice isn't it. A personal choice. Not the phone companies fault, not the technologies fault. We choose it.
The Godhead doesn't want me to be that way, I don't want my kids growing up that way. He expects me to work hard, keep my home clean and organized, educate my children about the world in a safe environment. I expect it of myself. It's not always perfect, it doesn't always work out perfectly but we're not perfect so that's okay with me. But we try, we work hard, we make a solid effort and we don't just give up if it doesn't work out the first time.
Having moved into a house that we didn't design or build you spend most of your time trying to make it yours. You start with paint easier and cheaper. Then you add furniture, odds and ends, personal touches. Even then it's a constant project and big and expensive undertaking. To be honest it makes me wonder why we bother with buying houses and mortgages rather that just renting and saving and building when we can then at least you start off with something you like the way you wanted it, but that's besides the point lol. My oldest kids, when the microwave handle fell off, taped it back on lol. They were gonna stretch that microwave for all it's worth understanding the value of the things around them. When we talk about home improvement projects they get excited to help, now if only they were that excited about their day to day lives and keeping their rooms clean. But when asked to complete a project as a family they are always on board. In fact, and I love this, my kids get so mind numbingly bored of their electronics because they prefer hanging out with their friends and actually conversing with them, in person! Face to face! Albeit Just Dance is a favorite for them but at least they're moving which I like.
When they come home from school they have a determination to take care of their homework and chores right away. They choose it. Started out years ago as a rule when they were in elementary school and now that they're in high school they see the value in it and choose to continue that way. To work hard on their education and help out around the house. They aren't perfect everyone has their day where they just wanna sit around. Even then, they play with their little sister, they tidy up when they see a need and they offer their assistance with whatever their parents are doing. I am so unbelievably grateful for that! I rarely if ever have to get after them anymore they just understand the value of hard work at this point and recognize how it makes them feel to have a job well done.
When we leave this earth we only take with us our knowledge, what we've chosen to study and learn. About the gospel, about the world around us, about ourselves. In the end we rise only with what knowledge we've accumulated before our death. Executing what you've learned, the hard work, is where you gain the experience. We are here for the experience. I prefer an enlightened mind to a lazy attitude myself. Hopefully you feel the same way.
There is satisfaction in hard work. Getting a project started is one thing, but when you complete it! Best feeling in the world! Interruptions and distractions are everywhere all the time and can make us excuse ourselves from completing tasks that are more important than our facebook accounts or our tweets. Sometimes is just plain ok to turn the computer off, ignore the phone. The world will be ok while you're busy. I assure you it will still turn, it will still progress, it will move on. The whole point of these technologies interestingly enough was for work. Teams and team leaders that needed to be in constant contact with each other on various projects to get them all completed well and on time. Even they are distracted by angry birds and candy crush apps showing a fall in production. It's a choice isn't it. A personal choice. Not the phone companies fault, not the technologies fault. We choose it.
The Godhead doesn't want me to be that way, I don't want my kids growing up that way. He expects me to work hard, keep my home clean and organized, educate my children about the world in a safe environment. I expect it of myself. It's not always perfect, it doesn't always work out perfectly but we're not perfect so that's okay with me. But we try, we work hard, we make a solid effort and we don't just give up if it doesn't work out the first time.
Having moved into a house that we didn't design or build you spend most of your time trying to make it yours. You start with paint easier and cheaper. Then you add furniture, odds and ends, personal touches. Even then it's a constant project and big and expensive undertaking. To be honest it makes me wonder why we bother with buying houses and mortgages rather that just renting and saving and building when we can then at least you start off with something you like the way you wanted it, but that's besides the point lol. My oldest kids, when the microwave handle fell off, taped it back on lol. They were gonna stretch that microwave for all it's worth understanding the value of the things around them. When we talk about home improvement projects they get excited to help, now if only they were that excited about their day to day lives and keeping their rooms clean. But when asked to complete a project as a family they are always on board. In fact, and I love this, my kids get so mind numbingly bored of their electronics because they prefer hanging out with their friends and actually conversing with them, in person! Face to face! Albeit Just Dance is a favorite for them but at least they're moving which I like.
When they come home from school they have a determination to take care of their homework and chores right away. They choose it. Started out years ago as a rule when they were in elementary school and now that they're in high school they see the value in it and choose to continue that way. To work hard on their education and help out around the house. They aren't perfect everyone has their day where they just wanna sit around. Even then, they play with their little sister, they tidy up when they see a need and they offer their assistance with whatever their parents are doing. I am so unbelievably grateful for that! I rarely if ever have to get after them anymore they just understand the value of hard work at this point and recognize how it makes them feel to have a job well done.
When we leave this earth we only take with us our knowledge, what we've chosen to study and learn. About the gospel, about the world around us, about ourselves. In the end we rise only with what knowledge we've accumulated before our death. Executing what you've learned, the hard work, is where you gain the experience. We are here for the experience. I prefer an enlightened mind to a lazy attitude myself. Hopefully you feel the same way.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Just Sitting Here Thinkin'
I was so tired all day today, and nervous, and a little stressed. Tired because....actually I'm not exactly sure. You see Hubby has a very bad cold and has opted to vacate the bed to spare me his disease which I think is the SWEETEST thing. However, last night he slept in the bed so I'm wondering if there was coughing or tossing and turning that might have made it impossible for me to deep sleep.
Nervous because I hate speaking in public. We've gone over this in other posts, I always feel flustered and predict that I'll say the wrong the things. I always want to run away after I speak, it's very strange I admit. I feel like I'm going to be judged and criticized to the hilt when that's probably not the case at all. All in my head right?
Stressed for my children. I remember high school and high school exams. No matter how much you think you know and how prepared you think you are you never seem to get the grade you expect on your finals. Tonight I spent time with our daughter going over what she needs to be able to do and comprehend in American Lit. I didn't mind it I actually quite enjoying teaching, albeit on a smaller scale. I'll keep working on that public speaking thing. It bugs me that I'm always so flustered. Anywho, tried to go over proofs with our son for his geometry class. I say tried because sometimes he gets defensive when you try and check up on him or offer him some help when you see he needs it. I get it, fifteen years old, independent. I just wish I had the magic words to 'soften' him up a little bit and accept the help or at least someone who is willing to help him study the things he's unsure of. If not me at least someone.
Today instead of Christmas Caroling, which is something our family loves to do, we and our worn out selves all fell asleep and had nap time. Can't say I minded. It's like a preview to Christmas Break. Still really looking forward to the sleeping in, the lazy afternoons just spending time together, the food. Working on planning the day before Christmas Eve thinking about seeing a movie with the whole family. This will be 'MissToddlerPants' second movie in a theater. It's so fun and exciting to see children experience new things like the movie theater. They see all the people, the popcorn, the posters and videos playing in the hallways, the big screen.
I remember having a drive-in where I'm from. Green Acres Drive-In I believe it was called there in Lethbridge, Alberta. We used to pop a big brown paper grocery sized bag full of buttered popcorn and sneak it in along with a bottle of soda and some plastic cups. I remember seeing a double feature once. Grease 2 and Lady Hawk with Michelle Pfeiffer. Loved them both and pretended with all my friends that we were the pink ladies that summer all summer long. We dressed in whatever pink we had and wore bandanas in our hair sitting on each others swing sets and singing all the songs. ESPECIALLY cool rider! The best! To this day still love both movies and I think I have seen every Michelle Pfieffer movie ever made.
This time of year makes you think about holiday traditions and childhood memories of Christmas. I loved going to my Grandma Moen's in Camrose, Alberta for Christmas. There was nothing like it. My mom and her two sisters were very close to each other and very close to Grandma. They were best friends. You'd hear them laughing and talking for hours. Hard not to be happy when you have lots of cousins to play with and happy parents. We would all get so excited. We all loved Christmas Eve, big turkey dinner, opening presents under the tree. The Moen's are Norwegian and I love this family tradition. Then we'd pout and whine and try to be sneaky when we thought Santa was coming. Sometimes we would just creep up the stairs a little bit to spy on all our parents and see what they were up to, what they were taking about. Maybe a surprise here and there we could catch wind of and ruin. For the most part we'd just pass out and wake up as early as possible. Trying to stay quiet in our mind blown excitement when we'd see our stockings filled with presents from Santa. Shaking any new presents under the tree trying to guess. Eventually we'd be exhausted from being up so early and waiting for our parents to wake up that we'd fall back to sleep. I miss that.
Of couse St Louis has totally ruined me. I went from Alberta beef to St Louis ribs, not that I'm complaining yum! It's taken me a little while to get my own rub for the ribs right and how I like to cook them but I'm thinking move over turkey hello ribs this Christmas Eve! No one ever said you can't create a new tradition now did they? Will still do Swedish Meatballs, the hot crab dip, the cheese dip we make into a Christmas Tree on the platter, the hot chocolate. We'll be adding another Moen tradition of Rosettes this year, the kids have only ever had them once and since I have inherited the Rosette irons I'm really looking forward to making them. For those of you who don't know, Rosettes are a light pastry. A batter you put on the iron and place the iron in hot oil to fry and then sprinkle icing sugar on top. Dangerously delicious.
I guess I should be thinking about bed now even though that nap this afternoon messed me up. I have 6 hours until I have to be up again and begin another busy week of hustle and bustle, getting this done and that done. What are some of your traditions?
Nervous because I hate speaking in public. We've gone over this in other posts, I always feel flustered and predict that I'll say the wrong the things. I always want to run away after I speak, it's very strange I admit. I feel like I'm going to be judged and criticized to the hilt when that's probably not the case at all. All in my head right?
Stressed for my children. I remember high school and high school exams. No matter how much you think you know and how prepared you think you are you never seem to get the grade you expect on your finals. Tonight I spent time with our daughter going over what she needs to be able to do and comprehend in American Lit. I didn't mind it I actually quite enjoying teaching, albeit on a smaller scale. I'll keep working on that public speaking thing. It bugs me that I'm always so flustered. Anywho, tried to go over proofs with our son for his geometry class. I say tried because sometimes he gets defensive when you try and check up on him or offer him some help when you see he needs it. I get it, fifteen years old, independent. I just wish I had the magic words to 'soften' him up a little bit and accept the help or at least someone who is willing to help him study the things he's unsure of. If not me at least someone.
Today instead of Christmas Caroling, which is something our family loves to do, we and our worn out selves all fell asleep and had nap time. Can't say I minded. It's like a preview to Christmas Break. Still really looking forward to the sleeping in, the lazy afternoons just spending time together, the food. Working on planning the day before Christmas Eve thinking about seeing a movie with the whole family. This will be 'MissToddlerPants' second movie in a theater. It's so fun and exciting to see children experience new things like the movie theater. They see all the people, the popcorn, the posters and videos playing in the hallways, the big screen.
I remember having a drive-in where I'm from. Green Acres Drive-In I believe it was called there in Lethbridge, Alberta. We used to pop a big brown paper grocery sized bag full of buttered popcorn and sneak it in along with a bottle of soda and some plastic cups. I remember seeing a double feature once. Grease 2 and Lady Hawk with Michelle Pfeiffer. Loved them both and pretended with all my friends that we were the pink ladies that summer all summer long. We dressed in whatever pink we had and wore bandanas in our hair sitting on each others swing sets and singing all the songs. ESPECIALLY cool rider! The best! To this day still love both movies and I think I have seen every Michelle Pfieffer movie ever made.
This time of year makes you think about holiday traditions and childhood memories of Christmas. I loved going to my Grandma Moen's in Camrose, Alberta for Christmas. There was nothing like it. My mom and her two sisters were very close to each other and very close to Grandma. They were best friends. You'd hear them laughing and talking for hours. Hard not to be happy when you have lots of cousins to play with and happy parents. We would all get so excited. We all loved Christmas Eve, big turkey dinner, opening presents under the tree. The Moen's are Norwegian and I love this family tradition. Then we'd pout and whine and try to be sneaky when we thought Santa was coming. Sometimes we would just creep up the stairs a little bit to spy on all our parents and see what they were up to, what they were taking about. Maybe a surprise here and there we could catch wind of and ruin. For the most part we'd just pass out and wake up as early as possible. Trying to stay quiet in our mind blown excitement when we'd see our stockings filled with presents from Santa. Shaking any new presents under the tree trying to guess. Eventually we'd be exhausted from being up so early and waiting for our parents to wake up that we'd fall back to sleep. I miss that.
Of couse St Louis has totally ruined me. I went from Alberta beef to St Louis ribs, not that I'm complaining yum! It's taken me a little while to get my own rub for the ribs right and how I like to cook them but I'm thinking move over turkey hello ribs this Christmas Eve! No one ever said you can't create a new tradition now did they? Will still do Swedish Meatballs, the hot crab dip, the cheese dip we make into a Christmas Tree on the platter, the hot chocolate. We'll be adding another Moen tradition of Rosettes this year, the kids have only ever had them once and since I have inherited the Rosette irons I'm really looking forward to making them. For those of you who don't know, Rosettes are a light pastry. A batter you put on the iron and place the iron in hot oil to fry and then sprinkle icing sugar on top. Dangerously delicious.
I guess I should be thinking about bed now even though that nap this afternoon messed me up. I have 6 hours until I have to be up again and begin another busy week of hustle and bustle, getting this done and that done. What are some of your traditions?
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Love This Season
I have to admit, when I first walked into the Kohl's to do some pre Christmas shopping with my Mom I was annoyed that they had so much Christmas stuff up and Thanksgiving was still weeks ahead. I like to explore one holiday at a time. The Christmas music was playing and you could see some individuals with that look on their face. The look of a real bargain. Boredom even. Like drones lined up for a deal. As I walked along with my Mother looking at belts and ties and towels and aprons a Christmas song playing in the background I found myself automatically humming. The more I hummed the more I smiled. Then I saw the really cool center pieces for the Christmas Dinner table and felt myself light up with the Christmas Spirit. Sparkling pretty decorations. The anticipation of watching my kids open Grandma's presents on Christmas. More Christmas music in the background lifting me higher. By the time we got to the lines, drone faces I tell ya, I noticed a little boy crying in his Mother's arms about 2 years old. Mom was trying hard to console and get him to stop but he refused. That is until he saw my smile.
I spent a good ten minutes with this little boy, he was in the line next to me and further on ahead. We started making faces at each other and his smiles turned into giggles which of course made Mom turn around to see what was going on since he was much happier all of the sudden. A woman behind me suddenly asked me about a purchase I was making, if I was turning all these items into a cool craft and could she get in on it but I bored her with a no just buying them as is but intrigued at her creative mind and started looking closer at my items. I wish I could see what she was thinking. Meanwhile as I was distracted this boy had began to cry again and be fussy and hearing him I drew my attention back to making faces and smiling at him again so his mother could complete her purchase. It was almost as if we had an inside joke going and no one else could see this little world we had entered for a time. Again, my heart started to glow.
Being the mother of two teens and pre schooler I feel as though I'm split into lots of little pieces going in different directions and it honestly wears me out. Teenagers love their own lives but they also need a chef and taxi driver. Not to mention an occasional tutor. Meanwhile Miss Toddlerpants as we affectionately call her these days, is very demanding we have in fact hit the pre school diva phase. It's not all bad sometimes very entertaining really but when I'm already tired from a poor health day and lots of 5am wake up calls there are, quite frankly some days where you just want to put them in a padded room filled with balloons for a couple of hours and read a book that's been sitting on your shelf since last Christmas and you're only goal was to read it before this Christmas. Epic fail on that this year. But when the Christmas lights go on, or Christmas music starts to play, their eyes light up especially miss diva's. Her excitement is completely contagious and infectious. You can't escape.
My favorite part of this season is, however, time. I look forward to spending time with my family getting a little bit fatter, watching Christmas movies old and new, laughing together, playing board games together, eating cookies until we're on a major sugar high ( of course this year that won't be me). Time is the most precious most valuable tool/gift that I have to give. I do it as often as I possibly can whether it's accepted or not as long as it's offered. I love the snuggles in front of a roaring fire all of us curled up. The giggles and tickle fights. The general silliness and smiles.
In those moments, sometimes crazy funny and sometimes quiet and simple, I remember how thankful I am for my family. How thankful I am for every smile, for every tear, for every trial and triumph that we have individually and collectively endured this past year. I thank God in Heaven for the opportunity to be a Mother to these magnificent children. Children that were always meant for me. I think about Mary and how afraid she must have felt bringing the Savior of the world to life. But how special, hopeful, peaceful and the joy she must have felt that night He was born to this world. Knowing He was always meant to be hers. How profound. How humbling.
I am so incredibly thankful for this world. It isn't perfect, as aren't we. But it's ours. It's ours to love and appreciate as well as everyone on it. I am thankful for the Savior, Jesus Christ and His perfect example of love and generosity. I am thankful to have the opportunity to get to know Him in this life through studying the scriptures and prayer. I hope that we all in any circumstance can find a way to love each other, even in disagreement. That we can learn to accept that everyone has free agency and the right to choose for themselves what to believe. Merry Christmas, and God Bless.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
What to Do What to Do
Over the largest portion of my life I've been confrontational. If someone hurt me I'd hurt them back or at least embarrass them for it by making sure everyone knew about it. If someone gossiped about me I'd get them back in creative ways, small rumors, get them to confide in me tell me dirty secrets so I could expose them later. Sneaky I know. Then I had children. When they're really little you don't really think about how you're acting. I was even one of those, just lie to them about it the truth will just hurt their feelings. But by hiding those things it would end up hurting them more and then I'd be blamed the whole, why didn't you tell me if you knew.
For about a year and a half after I divorced at the age of 25 yes that's right and a three year marriage, oh I know but trust me it took courage and was the best thing for us, I sort of disappeared. I hid from the world, from friends, from family. I just was tired of being hurt, tired of confronting it all, exhausted from all the backstabbing crap. Just didn't want to be a part of any of it anymore. I wanted peace. I wanted to heal. I needed to find my own strength. It was through this period of my life that I received guidance from "the written word" and prayer. It gave me time to mourn, time to regroup whilst raising two babies on my own ( literally both still in diapers), and time to think.
The best part was time to think. I rarely answered my phone or door. I rarely left the house. I refused to be pushed in any capacity by anyone no matter how well they thought they knew me. I wanted to take everything up to that point and get rid of it. And I did. I considered my own upbringing and examples of others throughout my life to decide how I wanted my children to be raised. I went through all the finances I was left with which was next to nothing to discipline myself financially to be able to keep going. I considered what I really wanted out of life. My life. I realize that we all want others to agree with us in some form so that we can all be besties sometimes but it's important to be you , there's no one else like you out there.
It's been really hard ever since. I choose to love people despite their cruelties to myself or others. Doesn't mean I don't feel disappointment. I choose to love myself despite my imperfections and even find some of my imperfections entertaining at times. I choose to be careful what I share with the world. When things are precious to me, certain talents and abilities, I am particular when and with whom I share them. I am still working on that, I shouldn't be hiding musical gifts or any talents that I have from anyone but I've been burned by so many in these departments I fear other than my immediate family and those I grew up with, the world will never know. I choose to help in any way I can but I also acknowledge free will and sometimes when I offer to help when I see a need it's refused and I have to accept that. I choose to be friendly to all and forgive quickly. Life is too short to waste on a grudge or gossip so I simply prefer not to.
Although I choose to be patient and have worked on that the most over the years I'm also not afraid to stand up for what's right even if others around me don't see it that way. I know what I know. I have experienced plenty and I have lived a rather tough life that's taught me a lot about myself and what the Lord expects from me. He didn't say oh don't worry about it if you make a mistake that would make the Atonement insignificant. He says come unto me all ye that are heavy laden, burdened with mistakes, and if we do it right and we forsake the behavior, we receive his justice and mercy. I really love that about Him. I don't take that for granted. I believe in restitution. Trying to fix the mistake not just abandoning it.
I choose to learn all I can about the world around me. I find myself somedays pouring over books, internet articles, lesson plans to find out more. Whatever strikes my fancy at the time. Mostly I've learned to live and let God. There are always going to be people in this world that wish to do me and my family harm whether by their words or deeds it is the same. I am often prompted to let them say and do what they want because He is fully aware of it and He will take care of what He needs to and in some cases allows them to condemn themselves. That doesn't mean we sit and do nothing. It means we take the time to observe the situation, do what we can and leave the rest to Him. The trick is when you've done all you can, letting go of it. Sometimes the attitude of , well that's their problem, isn't exactly letting it go. It means you are done with it, you will keep trying if you can, but for the most part you accept the outcome for the time being and will continue on with your life forgiving the pain or frustration you felt from others.
Still learning. The older I get and more I learn the more I realize that the only way you can grow leaps and bounds is through baby steps. Line upon line, precept upon precept. Acknowledging that everyone learns at their own pace and everyone has free will. I love having a family that is on this journey with me, learning and growing with me. It's amazing what your kids can teach you isn't it?
For about a year and a half after I divorced at the age of 25 yes that's right and a three year marriage, oh I know but trust me it took courage and was the best thing for us, I sort of disappeared. I hid from the world, from friends, from family. I just was tired of being hurt, tired of confronting it all, exhausted from all the backstabbing crap. Just didn't want to be a part of any of it anymore. I wanted peace. I wanted to heal. I needed to find my own strength. It was through this period of my life that I received guidance from "the written word" and prayer. It gave me time to mourn, time to regroup whilst raising two babies on my own ( literally both still in diapers), and time to think.
The best part was time to think. I rarely answered my phone or door. I rarely left the house. I refused to be pushed in any capacity by anyone no matter how well they thought they knew me. I wanted to take everything up to that point and get rid of it. And I did. I considered my own upbringing and examples of others throughout my life to decide how I wanted my children to be raised. I went through all the finances I was left with which was next to nothing to discipline myself financially to be able to keep going. I considered what I really wanted out of life. My life. I realize that we all want others to agree with us in some form so that we can all be besties sometimes but it's important to be you , there's no one else like you out there.
It's been really hard ever since. I choose to love people despite their cruelties to myself or others. Doesn't mean I don't feel disappointment. I choose to love myself despite my imperfections and even find some of my imperfections entertaining at times. I choose to be careful what I share with the world. When things are precious to me, certain talents and abilities, I am particular when and with whom I share them. I am still working on that, I shouldn't be hiding musical gifts or any talents that I have from anyone but I've been burned by so many in these departments I fear other than my immediate family and those I grew up with, the world will never know. I choose to help in any way I can but I also acknowledge free will and sometimes when I offer to help when I see a need it's refused and I have to accept that. I choose to be friendly to all and forgive quickly. Life is too short to waste on a grudge or gossip so I simply prefer not to.
Although I choose to be patient and have worked on that the most over the years I'm also not afraid to stand up for what's right even if others around me don't see it that way. I know what I know. I have experienced plenty and I have lived a rather tough life that's taught me a lot about myself and what the Lord expects from me. He didn't say oh don't worry about it if you make a mistake that would make the Atonement insignificant. He says come unto me all ye that are heavy laden, burdened with mistakes, and if we do it right and we forsake the behavior, we receive his justice and mercy. I really love that about Him. I don't take that for granted. I believe in restitution. Trying to fix the mistake not just abandoning it.
I choose to learn all I can about the world around me. I find myself somedays pouring over books, internet articles, lesson plans to find out more. Whatever strikes my fancy at the time. Mostly I've learned to live and let God. There are always going to be people in this world that wish to do me and my family harm whether by their words or deeds it is the same. I am often prompted to let them say and do what they want because He is fully aware of it and He will take care of what He needs to and in some cases allows them to condemn themselves. That doesn't mean we sit and do nothing. It means we take the time to observe the situation, do what we can and leave the rest to Him. The trick is when you've done all you can, letting go of it. Sometimes the attitude of , well that's their problem, isn't exactly letting it go. It means you are done with it, you will keep trying if you can, but for the most part you accept the outcome for the time being and will continue on with your life forgiving the pain or frustration you felt from others.
Still learning. The older I get and more I learn the more I realize that the only way you can grow leaps and bounds is through baby steps. Line upon line, precept upon precept. Acknowledging that everyone learns at their own pace and everyone has free will. I love having a family that is on this journey with me, learning and growing with me. It's amazing what your kids can teach you isn't it?
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Uplifted
In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we are privileged to hear from our leaders when they speak to us from church headquarters to uplift and edify us, encouraging us to keep going, keep believing, keep trying to be the kind of examples Christ would want us to be. It's a great reminder to have and they speak with experience and conviction and a great understanding of the world's current events as well as the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their testimonies are brilliant and their words shine with the light of Christ.
When you read the news lately, it's disheartening to say the least. Natural disasters leaving so many in troubled circumstances, thankfully we have a wonderful Church that has an internationally known humanitarian program that aids as quickly as possible to so many and to their utmost capacity. You see war and rumors of war escalating world wide and forcing the world to take notice and act collectively to resolve it draining all of funds and resources in the process and unfortunately sometimes having no impact. Disheartening is definitely the right word.
Through it all, however, there is hope. Possibilities. Opportunities. There is always something we can do, always. Never feel helpless but make sure you assess the situation carefully. If you choose to donate funding to organizations that can get to these grieving and sometimes destitute individuals make sure you do a company check to see that your money is actually being spent on proper aid and not administration bonuses. If that's not enough, some organizations will ask for specific items to be sent you could organize through your churches or schools a way to gather the materials needed and donate them to the organization. Again make sure these items are being administered properly by checking on this company.
Sometimes I can't donate money, or time, or materials. But I do have a powerful tool that I know works well. Prayer. I have seen miracles happen when large groups of people, from many faiths, come together in collective prayer for the greater good. Hard to imagine it has any effect these days but I assure you, it does. Having faith that God can conquer all, that He will deal with these matters how he sees fit is a remarkable quality. One all should desire to have. He can answer prayers in a big way that's so noticeable it cannot be denied. But He also works quietly in the hearts of men and women everywhere. He knows who is honest and forthright. He knows who is deceitful and manipulative. It's much easier for Him to sort it out than for us to judge or come to ill fated conclusions. Prayer works. I believe in that. Psalms 66:20 "Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me."
During this General Conference, we also are reminded about our commitments to following the commandments of God and the blessings and rewards that come with that if we obey. It is too easy sometimes to justify those commandments within ourselves to be exempt from them but I assure you no one is exempt from the eye of God, nor his judgments, nor his laws. If we repent, proper and true repentance through faith, prayer, and obedience to God's laws we receive His mercy and Jesus Christs' atonement is sufficient for us to be forgiven as long as we are humble, make restitution and forsake the sin. D&C 24:2 "Nevertheless, thou art not excusable in thy transgressions, nevertheless, go they way and sin no more". Restitution is vital. If you have wronged another confession is the first step but you must also find a way or at least offer a way to make it right between you. You can't just keep it between you and the Lord, He'll know you haven't made an effort to apologize to the offended party, nor have you tried to repair any damage caused. Awkward and scary sometimes restitution, but important to your understanding and personal growth.
Mostly what I love about General Conference is the knowledge that I can begin again. It's like a spiritual recharge, a jolt of light. Although like most things in life, it is what you make it or choose to allow it to be. The reminder that we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us, who misses us from His presence. The reminder that we are all on an equal playing field despite our circumstances in life to receive His counsel and blessings. That we are capable or incapable of personal knowledge of Jesus Christ based on what we choose. We all have the choice to follow or not to follow. To love Him, respect and acknowledge Him and keep his commandments, or not to. Matthew 6:24 "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." Mammon is an Aramaic word that means 'riches'. You cannot serve God and be worldly. This always makes me think about the tv I watch, the music I listen to, the books I read or if I'm living beyond my means for the sake of 'pretty things' in my home or closet. Do I have excess? Do I share that excess with those who are poor or in need when I don't need them? Am I charitable with my possessions and my time? Do I live the commandments of God the way He has presented them to the world or do I pick and choose which ones to listen to? In Exodus in the old testament we read:
When you read the news lately, it's disheartening to say the least. Natural disasters leaving so many in troubled circumstances, thankfully we have a wonderful Church that has an internationally known humanitarian program that aids as quickly as possible to so many and to their utmost capacity. You see war and rumors of war escalating world wide and forcing the world to take notice and act collectively to resolve it draining all of funds and resources in the process and unfortunately sometimes having no impact. Disheartening is definitely the right word.
Through it all, however, there is hope. Possibilities. Opportunities. There is always something we can do, always. Never feel helpless but make sure you assess the situation carefully. If you choose to donate funding to organizations that can get to these grieving and sometimes destitute individuals make sure you do a company check to see that your money is actually being spent on proper aid and not administration bonuses. If that's not enough, some organizations will ask for specific items to be sent you could organize through your churches or schools a way to gather the materials needed and donate them to the organization. Again make sure these items are being administered properly by checking on this company.
Sometimes I can't donate money, or time, or materials. But I do have a powerful tool that I know works well. Prayer. I have seen miracles happen when large groups of people, from many faiths, come together in collective prayer for the greater good. Hard to imagine it has any effect these days but I assure you, it does. Having faith that God can conquer all, that He will deal with these matters how he sees fit is a remarkable quality. One all should desire to have. He can answer prayers in a big way that's so noticeable it cannot be denied. But He also works quietly in the hearts of men and women everywhere. He knows who is honest and forthright. He knows who is deceitful and manipulative. It's much easier for Him to sort it out than for us to judge or come to ill fated conclusions. Prayer works. I believe in that. Psalms 66:20 "Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me."
During this General Conference, we also are reminded about our commitments to following the commandments of God and the blessings and rewards that come with that if we obey. It is too easy sometimes to justify those commandments within ourselves to be exempt from them but I assure you no one is exempt from the eye of God, nor his judgments, nor his laws. If we repent, proper and true repentance through faith, prayer, and obedience to God's laws we receive His mercy and Jesus Christs' atonement is sufficient for us to be forgiven as long as we are humble, make restitution and forsake the sin. D&C 24:2 "Nevertheless, thou art not excusable in thy transgressions, nevertheless, go they way and sin no more". Restitution is vital. If you have wronged another confession is the first step but you must also find a way or at least offer a way to make it right between you. You can't just keep it between you and the Lord, He'll know you haven't made an effort to apologize to the offended party, nor have you tried to repair any damage caused. Awkward and scary sometimes restitution, but important to your understanding and personal growth.
Mostly what I love about General Conference is the knowledge that I can begin again. It's like a spiritual recharge, a jolt of light. Although like most things in life, it is what you make it or choose to allow it to be. The reminder that we are children of a Heavenly Father who loves us, who misses us from His presence. The reminder that we are all on an equal playing field despite our circumstances in life to receive His counsel and blessings. That we are capable or incapable of personal knowledge of Jesus Christ based on what we choose. We all have the choice to follow or not to follow. To love Him, respect and acknowledge Him and keep his commandments, or not to. Matthew 6:24 "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon." Mammon is an Aramaic word that means 'riches'. You cannot serve God and be worldly. This always makes me think about the tv I watch, the music I listen to, the books I read or if I'm living beyond my means for the sake of 'pretty things' in my home or closet. Do I have excess? Do I share that excess with those who are poor or in need when I don't need them? Am I charitable with my possessions and my time? Do I live the commandments of God the way He has presented them to the world or do I pick and choose which ones to listen to? In Exodus in the old testament we read:
2 I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of thefathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
7 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in itthou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thystranger that is within thy gates:
11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lordblessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
12 ¶Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be longupon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.
He doesn't say these words are suggestions. He commands them. Thou shalt is not saying optional. You either obey them or you don't. There are consequences either way. I prefer to do my best to receive good consequences of blessings and knowedge but even I fall short sometimes. That's where the atonement of Jesus Christ comes in. I can repent. I can acknowledge that I have made mistakes and try to fix what I can in them and try my best never to repeat it. I must be honest with myself on this and not be too harsh on myself if I don't get it right away but I must also show true effort and remain humble. The blessings will always come.
I have a testimony of these things that they are true. I have not only studied them throughout my entire life but I have lived them and not lived them and I can testify to you all that living them is remarkably better. He never said it would be easy, He only said it would be worth it. God bless.
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