I am truly grateful for my children. I know sometimes they feel like we aren't committed to them in some way, or that we don't care about the things they care about but we do. It's an interesting journey for us as parents as we watch our high school students navigate their way to adulthood. It doesn't always go their way. We all wish we could get what we want when we want it. It's almost a blessing in disguise to have a 5 year old in the home with her occasional temper tantrums when things don't go her way. It's annoys the heck outta the two older kids and as a result they do it sparingly if at all. Temper tantrums I mean.
We are very committed to loving them, nurturing them, but we no longer reach out every time they fall down because we also have faith in them. Faith that we have taught them well and that they are capable of more challenges than they realize. We understand and I myself have a profound respect for the gift of agency. If they mess up there are consequences they might not like to face but if we let them they learn and grow. If they do well and succeed there are consequences there too with the rewards of blessings and knowledge and a boost to their confidence in themselves. They might disagree still quite a bit that we don't always bail them out or agree with things they choose to do and say but they know how much we love them. I thank God for that every day. My children know that I love them without a shadow of a doubt.
Families are such a precious and wonderful thing. They annoy us, steal our clothes, mess up our houses, break our stuff, hug us when we're upset, offer words of encouragement when we need a lift and many more things that we think we could do with or without but if we're honest can't live a day without and would miss the chaos. Of course we prefer the peaceful silences I really do miss reading. I have so many books and have taken my mind on so many journeys it would be nice to do it again but life is busy. I would miss the fighting, yes I said fighting sometimes their retorts are marvelously clever. I would miss the mess, to an extent let's not get crazy my clean house lasts about five minutes because by the time I'm finally done they come home. I would miss the laughter. Hearing them in the next room watching a movie altogether on the couch or seeing them play at a camp ground or a park. I would miss talking to them and hearing about their days and all the things that excite them as well as all the things that are troubling them. Families are a grand invention.
Just when I think I have everything finally figured out, everyone's schedules, everyone's moods they change and I have to start all over again. But I can feel it strengthening and changing me in the process. A blessing that you don't always notice but it's there. What would we be without a family?
How lonely would we tolerate our lives to become? It's not always easy getting along. Sometimes we do things that are unforgivable but we should always forgive. Forgiveness does not imply giving in or enabling bad behavior. It's a gesture of love and affection that says we understand what you did was wrong but we still love you and want the best for you. It's hard to swallow pride, and forgive. It's hard to forgive without an apology or some kind of acknowledgement to at least attempt to take away the hurt we can feel. Do it anyway.
I am so eternally grateful for my husband, Nathan. Whenever I'm flustered and want to give up he simply takes care of it in such a perfect way that I have to admire. We don't always agree on punishments for kids but if one of us is disciplining and the other isn't home or in the room and we don't have time to discuss it, aka we blurted out a punishment, we are good to back each other up. Enforcing is both of us and we usually discuss the blurted punishment and try to find ways to usually lessen it without taking it away completely. Tough but we're getting pretty good at that. I love that when he's at a loss and isn't sure what to do I have no trouble putting thoughts to action and doing what I can to fix what isn't working. I love talking to him, sometimes he tends to like discussions more than a simple conversation albeit interesting. I love staring at him still to this day after almost eleven years of marriage. I love that together as far as an US is concerned we haven't changed that much and still want the same things and still work hard at our relationship. Even if we're mad at each other over a stupid fight we just had lol.
The overall scheme of things? Families are a grand invention. A lot of work, but magnificent. The rewards and laundry are endless, the pay is terrible, the jobs are difficult with little to no help from your roomates, but worth it entirely.
No comments:
Post a Comment