As most of you do this also I'm sure, I reflect a lot on where I've been, things I've survived (some not so well), and how it is now aka what can I improve upon. All I can really do is share what I've learned along the way through my own personal experiences and then hope I keep improving as time goes on. I also learn a great deal from other's personal experiences as well so don't be shy to share them with me.
My secret is........................................patience. The hardest thing in this world to aquire and also hard to execute. Patience means in the face of adversity you embrace long suffering during your trials as a learning tool instead of a 'why me' burden. Challenges in life don't always have to be amplified to horrific from their simplicity. Maybe that's a little too factual and direct for some of you and I understand if you disagree that's fine. But I think we complicate it more than it should be most of the time. Life is hard and life is messy and we are human and get worn down but patience in your adversity and accepting these challenges for what they are at face value will definitely help you overcome them sooner than later with a better understanding of the "why".
Having patience with your kids also extremely vital not only for your growth as a parent but also for the growth of your children and their friends who associate with them. Don't underestimate the power of your influence on your children's friends. In my own personal experience with this the neighborhood children who come into our home know the rules in it. My children were taught the rules and pass it on to their friends, any friends, they encounter whether they physically come into our home or not. My children have outright told people who want to be friends with them what we as their parents expect. No cussing, no lying, be compassionate and helpful, don't take everything so seriously or be easily offended, things of that nature. Through our influence on our children, they have the opportunity and ability to influence many others that will in turn influence even more. That's why I hate being quick to judge. I don't know every circumstance that happens in everyone's lives I can only control my own. That includes my children. I don't see life through their eyes or share all of their experiences, too personal. But I can have patience and faith that they will keep influencing others for the greater good and continue to create a world of freedom and joy. I can be patient with them when they make mistakes, even mistakes that are so horrible it makes me shudder to think. I can be patient with them and their own learning process to figure it out and answer any questions or share advice when they ask for it, counseling with them as often as I can to choose what's right not only for their parents sanity but for themselves and their own personal growth.
The biggest one of all, patience with yourself. Probably the hardest. Probably the most impossible! Probably one of the most important. How often do we make a mistake and act so hard on ourselves? How often when we make a mistake in public does it infuriate us with embarrassment? Face goes all red, immediate hot flash where you feel like your neck is on fire, start to sweat looking around at everyone who might be staring at you immediately judging them for judging you which they might not even be doing. My biggest key to patience with myself, is humor. In the worst stages of my life through bad health problems or just being plain out right treated badly by another I get my best bouts of humor. My dad taught me if I take an embarrassing situation and make fun of it before anyone else can it's like ripping the rug right from underneath them. I agree. I can make fun of it my way, get a laugh and then no one feels they need to say anything at all and my feelings don't get hurt. But when they do, I have patience. I kneel in prayer often having learned to pray for my enemies that their hearts will soften and they will be forgiving of me for my short comings. I pray often for myself that I also will be forgiving of my shortcomings. I have to make a point of working on that all the time. I pray because I know I can't do it alone.
Everyone has weaknesses. Some people get offended when you tell them that they aren't perfect because in their minds they're trying so hard to be. I propose this question to you. Is your idea of what's perfect the same as the God who created you's idea of perfect is? If you are unsure seek out the answers. Once again be patient with yourself in overcoming your weaknesses. It may take a lifetime to correct some of them and you have to live your whole life with you. Instead of damning yourself maybe try some encouragement instead. Anne of Green Gables quote I still have to remind myself to live by: "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it." I feel like I never do anything right, or that my day could have gone a lot differently, maybe I could have done this instead of that, or I should have done these things first. I do that on a daily basis. That's when that quote pops into my head and I remind myself there's always tomorrow to start anew. It's nice to be able to uplift myself when I need it. If you need it to and you need someone other than yourself to say it to you give me a call. There are days I don't believe myself either lol.
Life is an amazing journey and I find myself more and more being grateful for every inch of it. Even the things I had to survive through or tolerate that seemed unbearable and unfair. I grew from them. I see life a lot differently now. Bad things happen to us all whether you are a sinner or a saint. "The rain falls on the just and the unjust" and as long as I feel like I'm doing my best it's all ok. Even on the days where I know I could do better instead of being impatient with myself about it, I just write it all down, or say my frustration out loud, and try again tomorrow. If I run out of tomorrows then I am grateful to say that I'm in a place where I can say it's ok, you tried your best and that's something to be proud of.
No comments:
Post a Comment