Things I need to work on....

1. My stress level.  I need to work on shutting out the world a little bit more and letting in the Spirit without walls to constrain me.

2. My idea of the perfect woman.  I need to look myself in the mirror and remember everything I've overcome and accomplished in life instead of thinking about all the things I fall short on.

3. My idea of the perfect body.  I had the closest to the perfect body when I was in high school, working out, and playing soccer.  I have to let that go and realize that children and Motherhood change everything and I should wear my stretch marks with honor instead of embarrassment.

4. My idea of the perfect family.  Life is messy and Bissell isn't going to clean it up.  But through prayer and sincere love for each other we can work together as a team and take on life's challenges with as much vigor as a pirate takes over a ship.

5. My musical talents and abilities.  I have abandoned and forsaken so many of them.  I truly am blessed with blessings to write music, play many instruments, and sing well and I have to try not to waste that.  I'm still working on it lol.

6. My ambitions to further my education.  I have always excelled at school and have this incredible thirst to learn everything I can get my hands on.  I just need to pick something and stick with it as long as I can and hopefully I'll find what it is I'm supposed to accomplish but I'll never get anything done wondering about it.  BYU independent here I come!

7. My need for friends.  It has been a struggle for me to make friends that I feel as close to as the ones I've had back home and I have made several efforts here but I will occasionally get weird, uncomfortable looks.  The ones I do feel close to I'm not sure they feel close to me at all.  But I will never give up trying to find that handful of friends that I can bare my soul to without fear of judgement.

8. My house.  My house bugs me the way it was built.  But instead of trying to make it how it should have been I need to work the problem and do the very best I can to create house I can smile at and feel completely comfortable in and I need to be patient because, duh, that takes time.

9. My husband.  I need to be more expressive to my husband when I need to have time just the two of us.  He usually is busy doing something or reminds me of all of the kids commitments to things but I really need to  stop being shy and speak up when I need time with him.  As you all know none of us are mind readers.  ( well maybe some of you lol )

10. Forgiveness.  When people wrong me and honestly apologize to me I am quick to forgive and try to move on from it.  When I wrong myself, it's unbearable to me.  I can't walk away, I can't look in the mirror and see someone else every day, and I can't escape my own head reminding me all the time.  I need to work on allowing myself mistakes and choose to learn as fast as I can from them but also to let them go instead of allowing those memories to flood my mind and hurt myself all over again.  Need to have mind control on myself maybe that's what I need to invent lol.