My whole life I have seen different types of women. Ones that loved be homemakers fullfilling their dreams as wives and mothers. Ones that loved being at home but it wasn't enough so they became creative and discovered their own businesses from home and it keeps them very busy but they still get to stay at home with their children. I have seen women who choose many different career paths and manage to balance these busy careers and have their families as well. I have seen women who have no interest in marriage or family and choose to put all they have into friends, pets, and their employment. Every woman feels her best in different ways. It would take years to describe them all.
I believe that woman are equal to men and just as we expect men to respect us we also in turn need to respect them. How do you think society is doing on that front? Do you think they respect us women as a whole? Do you think we have earned that respect or do we simply demand it because we were born female? Like we are entitled to anything we want without hard work.
I found an interesting 'writing' from Jill Jackson out of Beverly Hills that I want to share with all of you, the title is "Open Letter to Man."
"I am a woman.
"I am your wife, your sweetheart, your mother, your sister- your friend.
"I need your help!
"I was created to give the world Gentleness, Understanding, Serenity, Beauty, and Love.
"I am finding it increasingly difficult to fulfill my purpose.
"Many people in advertising, motion pictures, television, and radio have ignored my inward qualities and have
repeatedly used me only as a symbol of sex.
"This humiliates me, it destroys my dignity, it prevents me from being what you want me to be-an example of
Beauty, Inspiration, and Love: love for my children, love for my husband, love of my God and country.
"I need your help to restore me to my true position- and to allow me to fulfill the Purpose for which I was
Created.
"Oh, man, I know that you will find the way."
Very powerful words full of truth. I know for myself, the reason I'm afraid to trust a man or follow his lead when he takes my hand to guide us through this life together, is completely hindered because of men that abused me. Took advantage of my sweet nature as a young girl. Forced me into shame and anger because they saw women as something to dominate and control instead of love and nuture and protect.
To all the men out there who fight for their wives, daughters, sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts and friends to be loved and seen as beautiful angelic creations I salute you and praise you. To all the young men and men out there who open the door for women or carry her bags for her any time you get to chance and show your respect and admiration, to you , dears sirs, I express my love and gratitude. You are beacons of light in a dying world. Cherished and supported among women and other men of your great stature. You are amazing creatures who I know will pass on these attributes to your sons and them their sons in a continuous manner and it is you who will change the world.
On this Father's Day, I want to thank my husband for the great man that he is. He is strong, smart, caring, kind, respectful, inspirational and loving. I adore him. My protector, my sweetheart, father of my children, my love. Thankyou, for being such a wonderful husband and father. I am grateful to God everyday for you.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Now That's Progress
I dread my endocrinologist appointments. I put them off rescheduling. I even go to the dentist more readily. My recent appointment despite my cringing had good news. My glucose was normal, my tsh was normal and my cholesterol all normal and healthy. I thought I was hallucinating. As most of you know I have been struggling with health issues since becoming hypothyroid and losing weight is almost impossible when you have no thyroid to rely on. Not to mention keeping it off but despite everything against me I am finally and extremely slowly moving in the right direction.
I am still incredibly frustrated on that front but the fact that I'm getting healthier is what I'm choosing to focus on. I have been struggling with pain and health for over 3 years now and it's nice to have it all under control and be able to handle every day things like a normal wife and mother can. It's been an extraordinary climb to get here and this is only the beginning. I have a lifetime of uphill to conquer with no plateau in sight ( except for my weight grrrrr).
I am so thankful. I know we don't always get the blessings we want when we want them. But He does listen to our prayers and He does give us what we need when we need it despite our grumbles and disagreements. I am learning to increase my faith, to have more trust in the Lord. Just when you think you got this, you realize there is so much more growing for you to do. He stretches us and challenges us to gain strength and knowledge through experiences. It all makes us stronger if we allow it to.
Having free agency is tough sometimes. The freedom to make a lot of mistakes and a lot of good choices mingled together throughout our lives. Hopefully we do what is best for ourselves and our families in the long run. Hopefully we aren't afraid to change course when the Lord makes it blatantly obvious that how we're doing things might not be in our best interest or in the interest of our children. That there is always a better way. His way. The trick is finding the path He has laid out for you knowing it's what's best for you and doing your best to stick to it no matter what.
It can be the slightest inch, the slightest comment, that will throw us off the path. We can choose to be easily offended by a comment from another that really shouldn't have been able to shake us in the first place. Sometimes we are offended because the comment is true and it's something about ourselves that we really struggle with inwardly and know we need to work on but brush aside.
We can fall off our path by our ill choices, becoming selfish with time wanting what we want when we want it without patience or care to how others might react or the consequences that will affect everyone around us. Granted you shouldn't always care what other people think but you do have to live in this world and get along with society best you can. I don't always agree with what societies views are, to be honest I see a slippery slope of do what makes you feel good instead of do the right thing, but I still have to be able to get along with them. When we make choice we don't get to choose the reaction or consequence but we do have to face them. If you make good and honest choices you will receive good consequences it's that simple.
If you have wandered because of offence or guilt or whatever the cause, please come back to Him who created you. He's waiting for you. He loves you. He desires to help you succeed in righteous desires. There's freedom in His way versus our own. If you haven't in a while, talk to Him. Tell the Lord how you feel about yourself, your life, and Him. Don't be shy but be honest and reverent. He'll listen. Be patient the answers always come. I know He listens. I know He lives. I know He loves us and wishes us well. If it is good, seek after it.
I am still incredibly frustrated on that front but the fact that I'm getting healthier is what I'm choosing to focus on. I have been struggling with pain and health for over 3 years now and it's nice to have it all under control and be able to handle every day things like a normal wife and mother can. It's been an extraordinary climb to get here and this is only the beginning. I have a lifetime of uphill to conquer with no plateau in sight ( except for my weight grrrrr).
I am so thankful. I know we don't always get the blessings we want when we want them. But He does listen to our prayers and He does give us what we need when we need it despite our grumbles and disagreements. I am learning to increase my faith, to have more trust in the Lord. Just when you think you got this, you realize there is so much more growing for you to do. He stretches us and challenges us to gain strength and knowledge through experiences. It all makes us stronger if we allow it to.
Having free agency is tough sometimes. The freedom to make a lot of mistakes and a lot of good choices mingled together throughout our lives. Hopefully we do what is best for ourselves and our families in the long run. Hopefully we aren't afraid to change course when the Lord makes it blatantly obvious that how we're doing things might not be in our best interest or in the interest of our children. That there is always a better way. His way. The trick is finding the path He has laid out for you knowing it's what's best for you and doing your best to stick to it no matter what.
It can be the slightest inch, the slightest comment, that will throw us off the path. We can choose to be easily offended by a comment from another that really shouldn't have been able to shake us in the first place. Sometimes we are offended because the comment is true and it's something about ourselves that we really struggle with inwardly and know we need to work on but brush aside.
We can fall off our path by our ill choices, becoming selfish with time wanting what we want when we want it without patience or care to how others might react or the consequences that will affect everyone around us. Granted you shouldn't always care what other people think but you do have to live in this world and get along with society best you can. I don't always agree with what societies views are, to be honest I see a slippery slope of do what makes you feel good instead of do the right thing, but I still have to be able to get along with them. When we make choice we don't get to choose the reaction or consequence but we do have to face them. If you make good and honest choices you will receive good consequences it's that simple.
If you have wandered because of offence or guilt or whatever the cause, please come back to Him who created you. He's waiting for you. He loves you. He desires to help you succeed in righteous desires. There's freedom in His way versus our own. If you haven't in a while, talk to Him. Tell the Lord how you feel about yourself, your life, and Him. Don't be shy but be honest and reverent. He'll listen. Be patient the answers always come. I know He listens. I know He lives. I know He loves us and wishes us well. If it is good, seek after it.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Plug your Ears
Remember when you were a kid and Mom would say no to that sleepover or fudge pop and you would put your hands over both ears and start singing la la la la la I can't hear you? I feel that way today. Sometimes when I'm looking for answers I get suggestions I've already heard and tried, ideas that are not up my alley and don't want them to be, or search the internet only to discover worldly points of view that never worked in the first place so why would I mess up my own life trying it. Frustrating.
I don't like hearing that my kids in order to be accepted and loved need to be a certain size, say certain things, be like everyone else. That's not life! That's not realistic. I have always encouraged them to be themselves no matter what. If people struggle to accept them the way the are that's just fine. Friends come and go in and out of your life so frequently and sometimes they stay but a moment because you share that one thing at the time in common. It happens.
I don't like the world telling me because I'm bigger than a 0 that I'm worthless. That if I don't share the main stream's point of view I'm stupid or selfish. I despise it when people can't get over it. I have to. Why don't you? It's like everyone's writing their own rules and saying well my way is better do this. But really, shouldn't you simply be doing what's best for you? Your family? Even as far as parenting I have an idea how I want to parent and how I raise my kids. The kind of people I would like them to become. Does that mean they have to be? One can hope right lol.
I have been trying desperately to lose weight and do as my doctors tell me. As a result no matter how hard I try, I am failing at it. Everyone keeps telling me to be patient but I can't just keep waiting can I? I'm getting older. Not younger. I am actually scared to go to my doctors office and have him check my thyroid and blood sugar levels and weigh me. He looks at me like I'm a liar when I say everything I've been doing and why isn't it working. Like it's my fault. When I try to ask for suggestions he gives me the same ones. The very definition of stupidity is doing the same things over and over and expecting new results.
I need to find my own path. My way. I eat on average 680-860 calories per day because I'm afraid to eat anymore. I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day no matter how tired or sick or anything I am. I feel like I'm in some kind of jail and there's no escape. It's so completely frustrating. I have support. I love them all so dearly for it. I try to add things I enjoy for cardio like dancing and tennis. But those eventually will feel like a chore if I'm always worried about what my doctor will say. I don't know what else to do. He's given me fantastic ideas that worked brilliantly the last three years but I can't see to lose another pound. I've been trying for 4 months to get off this plateau and managed maybe 2 lbs.
I feel disappointed in myself. Not because I didn't lose anything. Because I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I have tried to fix it forever. Why can't I just accept that this is me?
I don't like hearing that my kids in order to be accepted and loved need to be a certain size, say certain things, be like everyone else. That's not life! That's not realistic. I have always encouraged them to be themselves no matter what. If people struggle to accept them the way the are that's just fine. Friends come and go in and out of your life so frequently and sometimes they stay but a moment because you share that one thing at the time in common. It happens.
I don't like the world telling me because I'm bigger than a 0 that I'm worthless. That if I don't share the main stream's point of view I'm stupid or selfish. I despise it when people can't get over it. I have to. Why don't you? It's like everyone's writing their own rules and saying well my way is better do this. But really, shouldn't you simply be doing what's best for you? Your family? Even as far as parenting I have an idea how I want to parent and how I raise my kids. The kind of people I would like them to become. Does that mean they have to be? One can hope right lol.
I have been trying desperately to lose weight and do as my doctors tell me. As a result no matter how hard I try, I am failing at it. Everyone keeps telling me to be patient but I can't just keep waiting can I? I'm getting older. Not younger. I am actually scared to go to my doctors office and have him check my thyroid and blood sugar levels and weigh me. He looks at me like I'm a liar when I say everything I've been doing and why isn't it working. Like it's my fault. When I try to ask for suggestions he gives me the same ones. The very definition of stupidity is doing the same things over and over and expecting new results.
I need to find my own path. My way. I eat on average 680-860 calories per day because I'm afraid to eat anymore. I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day no matter how tired or sick or anything I am. I feel like I'm in some kind of jail and there's no escape. It's so completely frustrating. I have support. I love them all so dearly for it. I try to add things I enjoy for cardio like dancing and tennis. But those eventually will feel like a chore if I'm always worried about what my doctor will say. I don't know what else to do. He's given me fantastic ideas that worked brilliantly the last three years but I can't see to lose another pound. I've been trying for 4 months to get off this plateau and managed maybe 2 lbs.
I feel disappointed in myself. Not because I didn't lose anything. Because I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I have tried to fix it forever. Why can't I just accept that this is me?
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