Aiming High

It's so great to take a break from the world! ( and your kids and house)  It took us an extra 2 weeks to be able to enjoy our Anniversary but we finally got the chance and even though it was going to be short ( one overnighter), knowing that going into it made us more committed than ever to spend time together.  Talk things out that might be bothering us about family or friends or kids or even each other.  To be able to show kindnesses and affection without interruption.  It made us look at just how busy life can get and how vital our relationship is to our family.

We were all smiles and giggles the entire time.  Not always the case but seeing that we are fully capable of these happy feelings we are going to work really hard on keeping it in our daily lives.  Hand holding, kissing, hugging are already in our daily 'routine', it annoys the kids but oh well lol.  But how often do we shut and lock the door just to have a conversation without interruption?  Like never!  When we try to discuss things we are constantly distracted by our kids suddenly having questions or concerns right when we're in the middle of it and it almost always turns into a bit of an argument because in turn we will mishear each other or be annoyed with the interruptions.  So when we have important things we need to discuss and usually find a quiet corner of the house we've discovered they'll find the corner.  We need a locked bedroom door or even a drive away from the house where we can speak.  Totally worth it to be able to hear each other and keep the flow of the conversation, it goes super smoothly and we seem more considerate of each other's opinions when we can actually hear it thoroughly.  Which in turn makes us better parents because we can't get caught in a dispute in front of them making them nervous or uncomfortable.

We have learned that the distance we have felt from each other, that lonely marriage feeling, was due to our busy schedules and by the time we got home we just wanted a hot meal, maybe a little tv and sleep.  Finding time for each other was always on the back burner.  We were lucky to find that our loving relationship was easily rekindled by taking a short break from the world around us and focusing just on our relationship first. That means phones off people!  Kids can't be happy without happy parents and parents can't counsel dramatic kids if they're struggling themselves.  All it will take is committing to a date every week but we've decided at a movie you can't speak, and at a restaurant you are constantly interrupted by the waitress so we have to figure something else out.  Maybe takeout and a quiet park? In the winter we're reaaalllyyy going to have to find something!  Other than hiding in a parking lot with the heater on I can't think of anything but we have all summer to figure it out!

Just because we're happy doesn't mean our kids will always be happy but working on our happiness in our marriage creates a foundation that is stable and makes life's challenges much easier to face.  It also boosts our self confidence.  We feel better about ourselves and our capabilities as husband and wife and as parents.   We do better on our own knowing that we are working together towards common goals than we do worrying about the little things that can easily consume us.

The questions we ask ourselves can be brutal ladies!  Am I too fat/too thin?  Am I smart enough/stupid?  Does my spouse still love me?  Am I being a good parent?  Am I doing enough for the community/neighbors?  Maybe I'm not worth liking/spending time with.  Then you start answering the questions with answers like, no one really likes me I'm not worth it.  Everyone's staring at me judging me because I don't look like them.  My spouse should find someone better than me they deserve it.  My kids deserve better than I can offer.  Believe me when I say this: You are just fine!  Everyone has flaws that everyone needs to work on and it's a personal thing.  It's extremely hard to overcome those flaws if you don't first find a way to love you.  Your relationship with yourself if it's a good one will branch out to others and create good solid ground to build new relationships.

I am so grateful that I got the chance to spend that 'quality' time with my husband this weekend.  It was nice to feel joy and peace and not be bombarded by such a demanding schedule.  With this confidence boost I look forward to my exercise and feel a wonderful determination to keep going.  I know we'll still have ups and downs life is like a crazy roller coaster you never know where the twists and turns will be but I have to say at the moment it's a lot easier to take.