I was fortunate enough to be blessed with meeting a particular individual that made me feel calm the moment I met him. I remember it well. The first time I laid eyes on him was in the Calgary airport. Long hair, long untrimmed beard, almost looked like he'd walked right out of the 70's after backpacking somewhere. Scruffy carrying a duffle bag. Then I saw those big beautiful blue eyes. They lit up the room, they sparkled. I was intrigued.
He has a luscious South African/British accent and the tone of his voice puts me at ease. Like listening to a familiar lullaby. I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't stop asking questions to hear that wonderful voice neither could I stop staring at him. The voice didn't match the appearance, but it did match those eyes. We could talk about anything or nothing it didn't matter. You could tell he was nervous around me, so adorable. He couldn't stop staring at me either. It was like staring at a familiar face that we'd met before but had forgotten.
His childlike and kindhearted good nature was just what my two children needed. They were enamored the first time they met him. I felt like a teenager moments later when my father asked to be left alone with this, beautiful stranger. Asking him several questions, getting to know his personality. The children chattering excitedly to Grandma in the next room. Me 'getting a drink of water' with an ear peeled to the next room. I remember feeling peaceful, happy. Not something I'm used to feeling at the beginning of a relationship. Usually my stomach is in knots, I fumble when I speak, and I laugh at everything they think is funny. But not with him.
This blessing, this special man, was very careful with my heart. He could see the scars and the battle it had been through. He could see how fragile it had become. He was patient and encouraging. He made it impossible not to love him.
I remember the first time I visited him in Chicago. I was so happy to get to visit this enormous city even if it was winter and lake Michigan can blow off enormously cold air in the tiniest of breezes. He wanted to show me around, which I appreciated and enjoyed but really all I wanted to do was kiss him. Talk with him. Stare at him and put him into my memory. Curl up with him listening to music. Talking about anything and everything or nothing at all as long as we were there together it didn't matter.
I discovered on this trip that he did not have a way with words. He acted so nervous and funny. Saying things that were so off the wall and instead of being angry I couldn't help but laugh. What an adorable man I thought. Near the end of the trip whilst watching a film and fumbling around with his words, came the ring. The most magnificent South African diamond ring.
I realize that in my life there is a certain cycle to things. The second something good happens to me a mountain slide of bad must follow. During the engagement there were several periods of long separation mixed with high anxiety. We eloped. Best decision we ever made. Sure our parents could have been mad, but instead they found it romantic, sweet, and a wonderful happiness.
I am grateful for my sweet husband, my rock, my joy. I am grateful for his undying love for me, for our children. I admire him all the time in everything he does. I still secretly enjoy listening to him speak. I sneak long stares all the time when he suspects nothing. I even do the dreaded watching him sleep occasionally. My beautiful angel, my strong heart, my everlasting love. How I cherish you.
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