From the moment my oldest daughter was born almost fifteen years ago I knew she was something special. Those of you who have truly gotten to know her, know exactly what I mean. She came into this world lit up and her smile........is pure sunshine from the time she was a tiny thing.
When she was about 4 months old she was playing on her quilt on the floor. I don't think up to this point I had left her side unless she was in her crib. I was enamored, smitten. Such a beautiful baby with such a happy disposition. I was very protective of her. Still am. A heart like hers is hard to find, if you knew it like I did you'd be just as protective of it. She remarkably put her foot in her mouth that day on the floor and I realized it was the same as a picture my own parents had taken of me when I was that age. So I took a picture of her. It's one of my very favorite pictures of her and I.
Once we moved out of our basement apt from the city into a house in a neighboring town I thought how great it would be for her to have all that space to learn to walk and run in and to have her own adventures. Our backyard was huge! Over the years I watched her learn and grow. She loved Teletubbies and Dragon Tales and Caillou when she was little. Of course she loved Elmo as well. She loved playing with her cousins as much as possible. Didn't like the attention her knew brother was getting when we brought him home from the hospital. She had a lot of conniptions over that.
We unfortunately, when she was in her early toddler years, had to insist that her father move out due to his bad temper and drinking which led shortly to a divorce where I was granted sole custody so we were on our own. Blessings come in different ways and at first we didn't recognize what a big blessing this would turn out to be. Believe me when I say we did much better and had a much quieter, safer home after that. The three musketeers!
My daughter has always been friendly and outgoing to others. It was rough in grade 2 when two girls in her grade called her unspeakable names and I watched her grades go from A's to F's. These two girls had told their mothers it wasn't them doing anything and their mothers instead of speaking to the principal, who was not only aware that they were bullying my daughter but had already spoken with them about it, called to harass me. I hung up. No sense in being yelled at and not getting a word in edge wise. I called and spoke with her school principal and her teacher who were both doing their best to keep it at school and deal with it as much as they could but since these two girls had added their mothers the principal had no problem adding them to her office and telling them what was really going on. I remember thinking that these girls really needed someone to correct their behavior and help them to be better people instead of not really caring which one mother eventually did and I commend her for. Takes courage to admit a wrong and try to correct it.
That summer and the following school year my daughter made tons of new friends including one of these girls that bullied her. I was impressed. She never held it against them. She just didn't understand why. I remember explaining that maybe if she prayed for them it would help and kneeling next to her and she did just that. But it did something else too. It changed her own heart. Made her stronger and more self assured that she was a good person and that she needed to forgive. Did I mention she was 7 at the time? Ever since then she has known who she is and what she wants out of her life. It's beautiful to see such self confidence absent of conceit.
Over the years I have had the honor and privilege of watching her become such an amazing young woman. Filled with love and compassion for those around her. Sure she teases but if it hurts peoples feelings and she realizes it she is pretty quick to apologize. She loves her many friends and works hard to keep them and make them feel comfortable and included around her. She has high morals and standards not just because Mom and Dad said so but because she pondered what we taught on her own and chose it for herself. I think her standards might even be higher than mine at the moment and that's saying something. We have learned over the years that dealing with her in kindness no matter what mistake she's made is the best approach to her learning and growing and development.
As you can see from this blog I've been thinking about her today. I love my daughter very much. I worry about her when she's gone and I am always so relieved when she returns and thankful for all the lessons I see her learning from the world around her. How happy and grateful I am to have her in my life. She's been through a lot in her younger years, but is has made her strong and courageous, and I love that I get to be around that sunshine smile every single day. She literally is my sunshine.
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