Thanksgiving Dinner

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year.  After Halloween and son's birthday and all of the sudden it was Thanksgiving I pulled up my big girl granny panties and said ok that's enough!  Felt good ta say.  I planned out my Thanksgiving menu on Tuesday and went shopping when we came home I wrote down all the things we forgot because we do that alllll the time.  In some cases we will keep forgetting for days on end and finally just say ahhh forget it!  On Wednesday I decided it was a good day to make Pumpkin Pie, Caramel Apple Pie, Corn Pudding, Broccoli Casserole and groove to some classic rock all nice n loud while I danced around in my kitchen.  Put me in the BEST mood.  I even warned my kids I'm in a really good mood right now you wreck it and you will get alllllllllllllll the frustration aimed at YOU.  They didn't even complain about my music.  Ahhhh.  Popped pizza in the oven for company, who I found out later on Thursday when they came back over for pie that they had been to 4 houses eating all day long.  I'd die.

Thursday morning was great I had already baked Banana Muffins for breakfast.  Helped with cleaning the house.  Hubby not working so everyone was home.  Turned on some modern tunes this time and started cooking again.  Made skillet cornbread, bread stuffing, and readied a chicken.  You heard me right, a chicken.  I save Turkey for Christmas I refuse to change my own traditions because some people call it turkey day and that's the way it is lol.  I made mashed potatoes with sour cream, dijjon mustard and crumbled bacon and then made some spicy cranberries ( you HAVE to try the cranberry recipe it was sooooo good).  The chicken was juicy and tender, all the sides complimented each other and none of us got through our plates.  Partially because we had some homemade artichoke and spinach dip with some tortilla chips beforehand while we were playing a game and waiting for everything to cook up nice.  It was sooooo good. Probably why we couldn't fit more Thanksgiving dinner in but who cares I live here the leftovers go in the fridge and heat up nice when you want them again.

The roasted chicken, spicy cranberries, and corn pudding were by far my favorites!  I don't really think I had much more than that on my plate the next day.  My stomach hurt the whole weekend!  In part because I had just got over the flu. ( not a good time to stuff yourself I assure you)  The Caramel Apple pie with homemade caramel sauce was divine.  I found an easy and fantastic pie recipe last year that I would die if I lost it's so amazing.  

What impressed me most, was what everyone said they were thankful for, and what they were least thankful for.  No one said they were thankful for my mp3 player or cable or even video games.  They said family and good friends that support them, employment that they enjoy, and I was thankful for the two days of calm and truly happy enjoyment I had had creating the Thanksgiving meal and dancing around to my tunes.  Our least thankful was for contention in the home, forgetfulness, and not enough time to spend with each other.

 I'm aiming for that same happy dancy self feeling all December long.  Where I was in a really good don't pop my bubble or I'll smack you mood.  I don't want to spend a lot of money, because we have everything we need, except a new car we're saving up for that one.  I don't want to plan a thing except Christmas Eve treats and Christmas Day dinner WITH turkey.  I plan on baking every day in December to share with family and friends throughout the month so I don't feel like I have to do everything all at once.  Yes I said every day so easy to just double a recipe and hand em out.  And I don't just bake cookies at Christmas we're talking simple as Rice Krispie squares or complicated as Turtle Pie.   Mmmmm Turtle Pie.(sorry Homer Simpson moment)  I truly want to feel the calm sweet peaceful feeling that Christmas is meant to have.  Considering the reason for the season, whom I love deeply and honor and respect with all of my heart, Jesus Christ being the peaceful example that He was and is I look forward to every minute of celebrating His life with loved ones.  I hope you can do the same and enjoy your Holidays with friends and family and take a break from the rush of this world.

Where does the time go?

What do you mean it's almost Thanksgiving??!!  I just barely got back from summer vacation and sent my kids off to school.  It was weird how Halloween came so early.  I don't remember it being in September.  Wait, what?  It's November???  How is that possible?  That means Christmas will be here in a couple of weeks and before I can blink it will be 2013!  Seriously?

No really.  That's exactly how I feel.  Forget fall.  The department stores around here were gearing up for Christmas before the leaves started to fall off the trees.  I'm sure that had so many people confused.  I hear there was a drug store in Canada that was playing Christmas music in their stores before Halloween and were asked to please turn it off.  Got that right!  Commercialism at it's um finest?  I'm not so sure that was the way to go.  Although I understand why.

Because the economy has been hit so hard and doesn't seem to be making much of a recovery many large stores geared up early for a reason.  It's a simple and logical reason actually.  Layaway.  They caught on that maybe just maybe all of us North Americans might be struggling with our finances and in order to increase sales, not just on holidays, more stores than ever are offering layaway.  Some with a percentage to store partially purchased items on a shelf in the back like a "save for later" button.  Some stores offer it absolutely free.  The idea that you really can afford that new washer and dryer for your wife just set it aside in July and take your time making monthly payments until Christmas.  Genius really.  It's a great way for stores to boost their own economies with a concept that doesn't detour shoppers.  It invites them.

One big humungo problem though.  It's also causing them to 'put things out' early so you know what you want to layaway.  I admit, bugs me to no end.  I feel like one of the workers on Black Friday that get told they have to work on Thanksgiving to get a 'head start'.  Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving people Friday is the NEXT DAY!  Calling it Black Friday shopping on a Thursday night is just plain wrong I disagree with these stores and think they are going to end up with no employees at all.  Kind of like shopping for Christmas.  I feel the same way can I just enjoy Thanksgiving first and theeeennn worry about Christmas?  Sheesh.

There is a flipside though for all those workers who so willingly cry out strike.  Hostess is no more.  No more Twinkies.  The company got so fed up with workers constantly striking for more money that the company didn't have that Hostess finally said you know what?  We're done.  18,000 greedy workers are now unemployed and add to the already huge strain on the economy.  You know who has to pay for them to live now?  Tax payers.  The government.  Losing full time jobs like that with benefits in a stable company isn't exactly a smart move on the part of the workers.  Beware unions who unite out of gimme this and I want that instead of I'm okay right now or can I please just have a little more of this.  Other companies will soon follow suit and choose to keep their money and retire comfortably while you end up on the street looking for work. The world doesn't owe you anything.  You work for a boss and live by their rules like everybody else.  It won't kill you.  Unemployment will.

See, I don't think it's just a country divided.  I believe it is a world divided.  Patience and honesty has flown the coop.  We are now in a society that says you have to say everything a certain way, you aren't allowed to be religious in a claiming religious freedom world,  and greed and dishonesty are the only way to get ahead.  If you have it keep it and steal some more right?  I guess I'm used to that world now I've been in it so long and I hope for the future leaders of the world to be better and kinder and more responsible.  I hope our children are never afraid to have a voice and stand up for right no matter what.  World can't change unless we do.  I for one will never give up.  I fought so hard to be born to this world what on earth would I give it up for now?

All I ask is that the world stop turning quite so quickly.  Even running full speed I feel like I'm falling behind.  It's almost comical really.  Can you just picture my chubby legs running full speed while I laugh my head off at the stupidity at the state of this world?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?  Seems like such a silly and yet a loaded question at the same time.  Someone will respond of course I am why wouldn't I be?  Some others will say wow, am I happy?  I was asked this question a while ago and before then never really gave it much thought.  I mean I smile most of the time, I love my family and friends.  I feel like I can breathe most of the time and when I stress out I have jogging, a punching bag, yoga, etc to help me out with that.  But the older I get the harder it is to answer that question.

I usually take the approach that I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, kids are doing well in school, business is busy for hubby, baby is happy and healthy.  So therefore I'm happy.  Over the course of the past few weeks I keep contemplating it.  How important is that question when I ask it to my family?  Would I want my children to do whatever makes them happiest in life regardless of my opinion on the matter?  Would I be okay saying it's their life let them do what they want or would I needlessly worry that it isn't turning out like I had dreamed and hoped for them?  Would I be offended at all if they didn't live a life that I have spent my life teaching to them is the best approach?  See what I mean?  Loaded question.

My heart has a very simple answer to all of the questions above concerning my children.  Yes.  Yes I would want them to be the happiest they can be, enjoying their lives.  Even if it goes against my grain, when they are adults I will worry less if they are truly happy.  Do my parents do that?  Is that the same answer they would give?  I wonder.

I love reading a good book in a bubble bath with no kids beating on the door or wrecking the house while I'm in there.  I love to sing.  I love to dance.  I love playing silly board and card games.  I love to laugh.  I love walking in the autumn colors and I love to run.  I love playing in the snow and freezing my fingers and toes.  (No, not because I'm Canadian as if)  I love the rush I feel skiing almost out of control.  Sometimes I get all caught up in the not knowing of things and enjoy the anticipation like Christmas and Birthdays etc.  I love to give.  Giving and helping are my biggest rewards.  Not picked on all the time use me like a doormat but you have a project you need help finishing or you need a night out with the girls or you need a date with your hubby, although now I send them my daughter to babysit lol.  I love feeling like I've made a difference or inspired someone's life in some way.  I love crafts like quilting and cross stitching I wish I had more time for those.  I love spending one on one time with my husband where we can get into deep conversation or even just goof off together just to be alone with each other is wonderful. (especially when you have kids)  I love hearing kids laughing and playing.  A cleaner more organized house would make me happy but with small kids I will learn to be patient lol.  There are a lot of things that make me happy in this world and in this life.

What makes you happy?

Post Election

All that anticipation and stress leading up to a federal election can really take it's toll on a gal.  Phew!  So many weird comments, vicious remarks, fact checking ( which I did myself also ), and commercials ( the horror!! ), I'm so glad that it's over.  However, a new stress begins.  Now that "Obamacare" is going to be put into effect, along with middle class tax hikes and gun control ( I'm not a Nazi Mr President ), we have as a result lost a lot of our financial freedoms.  My husband is a physicist, a laser scientist.  Not many people in the country could do that and yet as a result of obamacare and the penalty fees for anyone working over 30 hours without the company manditorily ( I know it's not a word but it is now lol )it does effect our own healthcare.  We have had wonderful healthcare through Northrup Grumman but this new law is making it more unaffordable for them, not less, and as a result we aren't even sure what health care we can keep or even if they will keep everyone on full time salaries.  That deeply affects our livelihood.

For some of you that don't understand I'll take a crack at it.  There are thousands of companies here in the US that as a result of obamacare have been scrambling to hire as many part time employees as they can so they don't have pay a fine or offer healthcare to their employees for having more than 50 workers, it's far too costly to be forced to do that for most companies and the fine is $2,000 per employee.  On top of that breadwinners who may work full time for some of these companies are in effect taking hour cuts aka pay cuts and it adds up to about 20% in salary loss for them.  That's huge!  Any single parent home or single income family will either need a really good education to be competitive and receive that, now honored, spot for a full time position or and this is more likely over the next coming years, they will need to work two jobs to make ends meet.  So yes, in effect, Obama did create more jobs, just by forcing the same ones to take more than one and I won't even get into the DREAM ACT being a legal immigrant myself.  Appalling!

The re-election of the President has made me take up jogging again because I am so stressed out with trying to go back to school and my husbands work being subject to all of these new issues and laws.  Sounds like a good thing doesn't it.  Was gonna take up jogging anyway but to relax.  Now it's going to be just to remain on a livable level so I don't have a heart attack or worry too much about how to afford my new roof now or that new car we were saving up for.  Not too excited about our future here in the US.  We're not even sure at this point if either of us will ever be able to retire.  Obama already spent our Social Security and that or our children, our children's children and our children's children's children and with his record Social Security will be nothing more than a way to keep tabs on you and your money will go straight into the Federal Government's pocket.

If, on the other hand, President Obama actually lives up to anything he said he'd do without casually leaving important facts out of his statements to the public, he did that a lot during his campaigns, then I won't have to worry now will I?

http://townhall.com/columnists/johnhawkins/2012/08/14/7_things_to_expect_if_obama_is_elected_to_a_second_term/page/full/

Halloween

Usually at this time of year our family is well prepared with candy, treats and costumes.  Decorations are put out at least a week ahead, pumpkins carved a couple of days beforehand and all the of costumes have been sorted out well in advance so that we don't feel rushed.  This year however was very different.

For the first time, well ever, in the history of our family Halloween lost quite a bit of luster.  We didn't have time to watch a scary movie or two or see any cute Halloween Disney cartoons to get us excited about it.  We didn't really worry too much about costumes because no one really seemed to be in the mood.  Our eldest son was the only one who didn't have a full plate and out of boredom put out the Halloween decorations for us and we used his birthday to carve pumpkins.  This is the first year I haven't carved a pumpkin since I was a young age.

We finally convinced our 2 yr old to put on a costume and go trick or treating with us after quite a few kids had come to our door saying trick or treat wearing their own bright costumes and something hit me.  When we, the adults, were children Halloween was exciting!  You would create your own costume, not run out to a store to buy some light piece of material resembling what you wanted for way more money than you have ever spent in your life for a costume.  Who can afford some of this overpriced crap when we have more important things to pay for!  There's something about that.  Creating your own.  It allowed your imagination to run wild and when it all came together after weeks of working on it, usually because Mom was sewing most of it, you felt proud to wear it and show it off.  To show off your own creation.  No wonder our family is getting bored with the whole thing!  There are no creative juices flowing everything is made for you and it isn't fun anymore as a result.

I remember loving to hand out candy as well.  Creating my own costume and props and carving pumpkins to decorate the porch.  One year we even made fake vomit in the kitchen.  Was so awesome!  We used apple cider vinegar so it frothed a little bit with a smell and people thought it was real.  When you're a teenager there's nothing like freaking people out to see their reactions.  I have always loved finding the pumpkin that came with a 'face ready to be carved' on it.  Where just one look at it and you can see a creation just waiting to shine!  Roasting the pumpkin seeds for a treat afterwards.

Even last year, our family was happy and excited for Halloween.  We had dad on the roof with a giant spider attached to the fishing line scaring the older people and older kids giving them a laughing fright.  We had a snake in the bushes that we attached to fishing line through the front door and would move it when people were approaching or leaving the house.  We would get all dressed up in costumes we put together and take pictures in front of the house with our decorations and pumpkins lit up.

This year?  Just too plain busy.  Society has convinced everyone around them that if they don't rush and hurry they'll be left out.  We used to be immune to that missing school and church things whenever we needed a break without a second thought.  What's new?  Guilt trips.  There are more leaders in school and other places in our lives putting more pressure on us to be present for everything thinking it's only one night.  Do you think that any of them ever stop and think that there is more to family life than one place to worry about or one night to worry about at a time?  Do you think they take into account that we have others things to tend to as well including spending more time with our family to make sure everyone is doing ok?  I wonder.

I care very much for my family's well being.  I can take on a lot myself I actually love being busy..  But when everyone is busy in 7 different directions and there's only 4 of us that really have anything outside the house to worry about it's too much.  How do you tell the world to breathe?  Take it down a notch?  Relax? Enjoy it a little?  When you figure that out let me know.

'Control Freak'

I can totally admit to being a reformed control freak!  When I was a single mother of two small children I was always on the offensive.  Attack problems immediately and with great force so as to not have to 'deal with it later' or feel as though I'm being controlled in a world I am powerless in. Big mistaaaaaake.  As a result I found myself not trusting anyone else's judgement in regards to my child's safety or well being at all.  I hardly left a babysitter in charge because they were just going to ignore my kids and talk on the phone the whole time, unfortunately that did happen once broken glass all over my children's room from breaking Christmas lights they got into and they were starving so not cool.  As for relationships, I would never walk in whole heartedly even if I knew them well.  Always keeping one foot in the door to escape.  Like I said, big mistake!

Here's where some of you having read the first paragraph wonder what's wrong with that I'm just protecting myself and my kids.  Are you?  Or are you simply projecting all of your fears from previous experiences onto your children?  Are you really saying I'm just protecting my kids from what happened to me happening to them?  Hard letting go.  Very hard.  However hard, it's also vital.  You must let go of it, work through it out loud with those you trust who will listen without criticism, judgement, or even advice.  You need a backboard to get this out of you so you can see what others around you who love you see.  However big or small the problem is at the time.

It's a scary thought to take all the things that may have happened to you and project them onto your children.  Those things may never come close to happening to them.  When things do happen to them do you have a tendency to immediately draw from your own bad memories assuming it's the same for them?  Please don't do that.  They aren't you and see the world differently, as an individual.  Depending on the age shouldn't we allow our children to solve their issues for themselves?  We should be there to guide it and it's completely okay to have expectations on the table so they are aware of what you know about the situation and how you would prefer they handle it.  Nothing wrong with spitting ideas in an approach of well maybe you could try this.  Thin line between spitting ideas with expectations on the table and doing it for them.

Over the years, having remarried to an oh so patient husband, it's been easy to let it go.  Took work though lots of issues from my own past I had to work through.  I took one step at a time and did what I could and when I caught myself being a control freak or overbearing about a situation I would pull back and bite my tongue.  I had such a sore swollen tongue!  Felt like I would never be able to breathe again I held on so tightly.  Really tightly, it's a wonder they didn't suffocate lol.  But I am capable of change so I did.

The most impressive thought that ever pops into my head when I relive old haunts is very simple.  You turned out okay.  I'm still alive, I had hardships, I learned how to get a better read on people and I'm definitely not afraid to walk away.  Makes me sad sometimes but occasionally it's simply the best option for all involved.  I have learned to allow my brain to mull over it a few times decide if anything could have been done differently, make a note to be careful of anything I noticed that I would and then I let it go, I walk away from it, I move forward and keep my eyes in front of me.  Good heavens can you imagine what would happen to you if you didn't?  You'd always be angry.  You'd always be offended.  You would always be hurt and feel stuck and resentful.  That's not life, that's a slow way to torture yourself before you die.

I believe that love and patience are beautiful gifts, abilities and tools.  Not every situation will turn out like you had hoped but don't underestimate the power of example.  Your example to your families is important to their daily lives and they need to see that when you fall you are not afraid to get back up again and carry on with dignity.  They need to know that you trust them to make decisions and that you are in control of yours.  Not in an abrasive way, in a loving, kind and peaceful nature.  When they see you take on life's challenges in a smart way, so will they.  Then as they get older confrontations will be easier for them.  Easy for them to forgive and move on to the next thing in life.  Easy for them to see their burdens in life as a simple challenge or puzzle that they have to figure out and learn from so that they can become strong.

Life cannot be controlled but it can be guided.  You can master your own life but not the lives of others. The world is getting tougher on us all.  Strengthen your families the best you can and prepare them through education and positive influence.  Take a deep breath when you feel overwhelmed and start again tomorrow.    You can do this.  You got this.

Family

Isn't family the greatest?  Well and sometimes the worst?  I really love my family.  We aren't perfect by any means but we try hard.  Sometimes we fall short in every category but there's love there.  To me that's the best start and foundation a family could ever have.  I feel so lucky and blessed to have this opportunity in my life to have children and see them develop and grow, wondering all the while what it must have been like for my own parents.  I find true joy in watching them learn and grow, changing week to week sometimes even day to day.

It's so hard raising children in today's society.  There are so many choices and so many distractions.  Lots of paths to choose from on their journey of life and lots of pitfalls to confuse, taunt and knock them on their backsides.  Is it weird that I enjoy watching my children work through their own problems?  Yup I said the word enjoy.  It's so amazing to me how smart they are.  You can see them think carefully about things and when they are talking to me about it you can actually hear them working it out you're just the backboard they needed to rebound off of.  Sometimes I think that they are living beyond their years, not necessarily by choice but almost forced into it by the world.  The world thinks that speed is the most important thing, but to it's own detriment.

I tell my children all the time, you are a child and I will fight for that.  You have plenty of time to grow up so take your time doing it.  Whenever my children rush on a test, skim reading I call it, they always get a lesser grade than if they had taken just a little more time to carefully think about it.  Doesn't mean they have to be slow just careful.  I think growing up should be addressed with the same approach.  Take a little bit more time to think carefully about everything that you're doing.  Take a little more time to think about where you want to end up and all the ways that you might be able to get there.  Make educated decisions about your future not rash dreams that I hate to say can become quite unrealistic.  Encourage others around you to do the same and be a good example living your own life in a way that you can be proud of and that others can benefit from.

I want my kids to savor the moment.  Enjoy what's in front of them and let go of what they might have messed up on.  Too many times when we are adults we carry our mistakes with us and hinder our own futures.  What purpose does that serve?  If we rush through life we are more likely not only make mistakes once but the same mistakes over and over again.  Yes, taking our time to stop and think is never a bad thing.  You only get one life to live.  So live it.  Live it to the best of your abilities and enjoy the ride.  What's the point of taking it if you don't find joy in it.

I love watching our youngest who is 2 1/2 explore the world around her.  No worries, fearless, everything is exciting, although the attention span needs more work but that will come with time.  Patience is definitely not in a toddler's vocabulary.  Her expressions when she discovers something new, as if she lights up, it's amazing to me to watch.  We have started reasoning with her a little more when we see her understanding of why.  I love hearing her conversations grow.  The older she gets and more she interacts with others the more she makes sense.  It's not jibber jabber as much anymore.  She's an amazingly intelligent little girl quick and eager to learn and grow.  I feel honored to be a part of it.  She takes her time and to look and listen carefully to everything around her.  As a result she learns it faster and has a deeper understanding of it.

I really, from the bottom of my soul, deeply love my husband.  He's the perfect balance for me.  Where he falls short he looks to me and me the same with him.  I've never had such balance before and it's funny when I am stressed about life he isn't and when he is I'm not.  We alternate this great calm feeling between us taking turns to worry like a see saw.  I love talking with him about anything, we can talk about everything no tippy toes.  We are both the kind of people that are eager to learn new things and challenge everything around us to form our own opinions and it's so great to be able to disagree and have that respect for what each other has said.  I love his kindness towards me.  It exceeds expectations.  He's my rock.  I love him more and more everyday.  Sickening lol.

Families are awesome.  What a blessing.  Even in family fights and embarrassing stories that your kids tell to perfect strangers that make you blush, I love it all.  It's wonderful.  No wonder it's the one thing that's hardest to maintain and worth fighting the most for.  Best thing on earth.

What's your family like?