I woke up yesterday morning feeling a little under the weather. I got up early anyways to drive my 15 yr old daughter to early morning seminary and decided I would drop her off at the door and then hide around the corner in the parking lot. I was suffering from a pounding headache and really bad stomach cramps and feeling nauseated so I didn't want to be in front of people lol. Just in case!
The drive to school was same as it always was only feeling ill the whole time. But around 11:30 am I get a text from this daughter saying that she has been feeling depressed. She went into great detail about how long she's felt this way, when it started, and anything ( if any) she's been doing about it. She said she told a couple of her friends and my first reply was what have they been doing to help you out? Not really anything specific although one sent her a good idea when you feel like cutting yourself you use a pen and draw a line instead so that one I really appreciated.
It's not easy hearing that one of your children is suffering. We have established that this began after she had her seizures in July and began her medication Keppra. It's biggest side effect is depression. I looked up as much information on what she could take while on Keppra hoping St John's Wort would be allowed but alas it doesn't react well with Keppra so we can't do that. She has an appointment to see her doctor and our family doctor is just wonderful, however, she no longer sets aside emergency appointments and she doesn't see patients past 3:30pm. That's like the equivalent of 10 patient appointments per day that have been cut off so now it takes weeks to get in to see her not days. I'll have to keep calling for cancellations on a daily basis and hope that something opens up sooner.
Having taken some psychology in college though and because she started the conversation while she was at school I had time to write down all the questions I would ask a patient so that I had an objective side to it. I had already researched ideas to help her in the past but didn't know how bad it was until she finally told me yesterday. She's felt so much better ever since, I know first hand that being able to talk to someone about how you feel and simply be heard without judgement is the best scenario. I did remind her however that I'm her parent and when it comes to her health there is no debate. I have the final say. I will listen to her and take everything she says into consideration and will be happy to be careful to pick my battles but when it comes down to it I'm still Mom first.
I already knew the best thing for depression was a routine. Also taking on responsibilities can not only help distract your mind with a productive attitude but it can make you feel accomplished. So when you feel like doing nothing make sure you do something. Anything productive. Start small at first a simple goal you know you can do and succeed at. Then try new things, acquire new hobbies it helps soooo much. I hardly had any free time in high school for good reason. Easier to focus on what you need to be doing than wallowing in depression. It's hard to push yourself in that state but it's also when you need to do it the most.
Daily exercise is a depressed persons best friend. Endorphins are this wonderful natural high that you can get any time you want to just by doing some exercise every day. It's your natural happy drug that can fill you with added energy and focus and it can clear your head and help you with problem solving and finding solutions. It's as easy as finding someone you trust that you can vent all of your anxieties to that will listen without judgment and offer words of encouragement and walking around the block a few times, or around the park, or the mall even. Everyone needs that chance to vent what's bothering them in their lives. Sometimes it even helps you see that and realize that the people who are picking on you may very well be getting picked on themselves. It's a good thing to learn.
After we had all of this situated and discussed there was much laughter and a walk with venting and a genuine smile on her face. Wonderful to behold. I look forward to all our walks together.
But my day wasn't over yet, unfortunately. My husband burst through the front door around 6pm falling to his knees and sheet white with pain and agony. He managed to get out the words, "Sweetheart, hospital, kidney stones". My reply was to run to grab my jacket and my purse and shoes, literally running, and get him to the hospital. Can I just say if you find someone urgent behind you honking their horn in the left traffic lane trying to get past you that it could be a serious medical emergency not everyone is trying to be a jerk and maybe you should consider moving out of the way instead of being critical and smug. His hands were completely cramped and he couldn't move them which I've never seen with kidney stones before and he's never experienced before himself so this was PAIN! They didn't even bother taking their time to register him just get his name in the computer and find him a room for evaluation. We spent about 3 hours in the emergency room. Isn't this just the perfect day for me or what?
When the stone stopped moving his color came back, dramatically. They set him up with an iv for meds when they needed to and did his vitals. Having a high heart rate and high blood pressure under the circumstances is normal. They asked him for a urine sample obviously to check for blood in the urine. Um, it was almost black. Yikes and no wonder he hurt right!? He had a CTscan and they discovered it's only halfway through to the bladder and about 3mm in size so passable but ouch. He's had two previous to this experience so he's an old pro of sorts but he had a 12 year break so it was quite the reminder. He has swollen lymph nodes they found a lot of bacteria in his urine so that isn't helping the passing (again ouch) and he's on three different meds just to help him out.
Good grief first a week of taking care of everyone else with the flu, then getting it myself then all of this! God must really trust me and believe in me to think I can cope and handle so much all the time. It's quite the compliment and you know what? He's right. (winks)
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