Fourteen hours. That's how long our first day of driving towards Utah was, we landed in Denver. At least ten of those hours were spent driving, visiting, enjoying each other's company. We were all so thrilled and excited to get to spend time together, just us. Didn't really matter how as long as we could. The anticipation of all the things to come on our vacation created a wonderful ere of excitement. Timing five people for bathroom breaks, the youngest being five, is an impossible task. There were times we'd stop and fifteen minutes later after beginning our drive again we'd hear, "I have to go to the bathroom." A roll of the eyes, a giggle, sometimes even a what do we do now we're in Kansas and there's not a rest stop or town for another 30 miles. But we did okay. We made it tired and happy to be safe.
We reached our hotel that evening without much trouble finding it. The swarm of police surrounding it helped. Swat van, detectives, and police cruisers were everywhere. Made us uneasy but since we made a reservation here we entered the parking lot and hubby went inside to investigate what was going on. While he was safe inside his family was sitting in the van wide eyed at all the happenings. At one point I had put my window down to hear if any of the people in front of us and by that I mean the people who were gathering on the lawn in front of the hotel, byob and let's see who's getting arrested, knew what was going on. I noticed a gathering of police and detectives around two individuals and watched one of them push the officers away from him as they crowded around him and shoved him up against the light pole in front of us, cue the window going up and doors locking. When hubby returned I believe his comments were at least they have a good response time and we should be safe here look at all security. That night was tiring, interesting, a little nerve wracking but to be honest we were too wiped out to care and slept well that night despite any drunk patrons wandering down the hall searching for their room that was on the next floor.
In the morning we felt renewed and rested, smiles on our faces headed to breakfast where our hotel morning manager was very friendly and talkative. He informed us of a haunted hotel and some other haunted establishments in the Denver area if we were into that sort of thing. Of course this topic took shape when we mentioned that his cheerio dispenser was turning itself and dropping cereal everywhere. We were thrilled to see the rockies again it had been so long for us! The kids were taking many pictures and commenting on how beautiful it was and how much they missed it. Our youngest seeing their enjoyment became elated herself with the view and also was very good for us on the drive ahead listening to everyone's "I can't wait to do" lists. We're very proud of her for traveling so well for us. Not as many are we there yet's as one would expect.
Sunny, gorgeous, not muggy, no humidity. Salt Lake City. Such a beautiful valley. Although we were wondering when they started driving like they were NASCAR racers? It's a freeway not a racetrack and it tickled us to see the big signs overhead saying no fatalities on the interstate in 7 days. Hoping they would make it at least 10 since that's how long we were staying there.
To be continued...
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Offering Support
Treat others how you want to be treated. Most of us have parents that have exhausted that phrase and we ourselves with children probably use it often as well. Sometimes though, the person you are 'treating' isn't like you at all or has little in common with you and might not see life as you do. Although this is a very valid and understandable phrase, especially with children I think it gets much more complicated as an adult. Observance is a necessary start, taking inventory of the situation your friend may be in first and hearing their opinion and game plan is much more beneficial. Through my own personal experience I find that the phrase what do you need me to do for you is much better.
We all hit brick walls of life's challenges constantly and some brick walls we only need our sledge hammer, some strength and some faith. But some challenges need a bridge or a tunnel much too difficult to do on our own. Do we ask for help when we are stuck or do we shy away in the shadows of embarrassment or pure stubborn nature, avoiding a faster and more meaningful result? I myself have been annoyed on several occasions with the how are you question that usually requires no response on my part whatsoever as it has now become socially acceptable to simply ask and expect an I'm fine answer in return so that you can carry on about your day telling yourself I'm a good person for asking. My problem is in the insincerity of it all. When is the last time you were genuinely listening to the best of your attention span and ability to the answer? When was the last time you answered truthfully with more than "I'm fine"?
Tricky sometimes isn't it. It's so wonderful when those few and far between moments of grand miracles arrive in life. Someone paying you back or giving you a bonus just when you need the extra buck. Someone brings over an abundance of garden treasures because they cannot possibly finish it on their own when you are struggling to provide food for your family. That last minute phone call to save you from the unemployment line when you knew layoffs were coming and your application has been accepted at another job. So marvelous when that happens. But let's face it, most of the time, it doesn't. Everyone is in such a different place in life and I myself have lent money or emotional support the best I could for as long as I could and been burned for the effort.
I can't support others if I'm not in a good place myself to begin with, it would only make things worse for those I'm trying to help and I can't sit idly by either when I see others struggle. I do what I can when I can and that's enough. As long as I am genuine about it, as long as I am putting forth a solid effort to do what needs to be done I'm happy with that. I'm not perfect. I can't always do everything for everyone all at once it overwhelms me but I definitely do have a desire to. All we can do is our best.
As of late I have been determined to pay more attention to those around me when they speak to me and really take a genuine interest in what they're saying, even if I disagree. Usually I feel pulled in more than one conversation at a time and have always had at least one individual be cross with me because I didn't hear the whole story or come back to them if we were interrupted. Distractions are everywhere and I'm working on that. If I want someone to take an interest in me, my thoughts, my experiences and knowledge in life then I have to start that way with them. They might say something that they truly need help with or comfort for or even just an ear to vent it out loud helps. I'll try not to criticize and hopefully they will return the favor. It means a lot to us all to be heard. Even if others don't agree with everything we think and say it's so important to support and uplift each other. Find common ground. Love and listen with real intent. Put meaning back into the conversation.
We all hit brick walls of life's challenges constantly and some brick walls we only need our sledge hammer, some strength and some faith. But some challenges need a bridge or a tunnel much too difficult to do on our own. Do we ask for help when we are stuck or do we shy away in the shadows of embarrassment or pure stubborn nature, avoiding a faster and more meaningful result? I myself have been annoyed on several occasions with the how are you question that usually requires no response on my part whatsoever as it has now become socially acceptable to simply ask and expect an I'm fine answer in return so that you can carry on about your day telling yourself I'm a good person for asking. My problem is in the insincerity of it all. When is the last time you were genuinely listening to the best of your attention span and ability to the answer? When was the last time you answered truthfully with more than "I'm fine"?
Tricky sometimes isn't it. It's so wonderful when those few and far between moments of grand miracles arrive in life. Someone paying you back or giving you a bonus just when you need the extra buck. Someone brings over an abundance of garden treasures because they cannot possibly finish it on their own when you are struggling to provide food for your family. That last minute phone call to save you from the unemployment line when you knew layoffs were coming and your application has been accepted at another job. So marvelous when that happens. But let's face it, most of the time, it doesn't. Everyone is in such a different place in life and I myself have lent money or emotional support the best I could for as long as I could and been burned for the effort.
I can't support others if I'm not in a good place myself to begin with, it would only make things worse for those I'm trying to help and I can't sit idly by either when I see others struggle. I do what I can when I can and that's enough. As long as I am genuine about it, as long as I am putting forth a solid effort to do what needs to be done I'm happy with that. I'm not perfect. I can't always do everything for everyone all at once it overwhelms me but I definitely do have a desire to. All we can do is our best.
As of late I have been determined to pay more attention to those around me when they speak to me and really take a genuine interest in what they're saying, even if I disagree. Usually I feel pulled in more than one conversation at a time and have always had at least one individual be cross with me because I didn't hear the whole story or come back to them if we were interrupted. Distractions are everywhere and I'm working on that. If I want someone to take an interest in me, my thoughts, my experiences and knowledge in life then I have to start that way with them. They might say something that they truly need help with or comfort for or even just an ear to vent it out loud helps. I'll try not to criticize and hopefully they will return the favor. It means a lot to us all to be heard. Even if others don't agree with everything we think and say it's so important to support and uplift each other. Find common ground. Love and listen with real intent. Put meaning back into the conversation.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Kindergartener
Since my youngest and I have ventured into homeschooling Kindergarten this summer she has made soooooo much progress. Our opening exercises consist of a an opening prayer, reciting the pledge of allegiance, what the weather is like today, and the days of the week. In the beginning just the opening exercises felt a bit overwhelming to her but I knew she could do it!
We have 5 subjects a day and three of them are what I guess I consider daily staples. Reading, Writing, and Math. We also on different days do Art, Geography, Science, and Spelling. I always believed the expression children are sponges when it comes to absorbing knowledge but wow! We began at the beginning of June and now she can read because she learned that sounding out the letters helps her figure out what the word says and is becoming very proficient in a hurry. She can say the Pledge of Allegiance on her own. She reads maps and understands how to use a compass. She's learned about plants her five senses, the difference between reptiles and mammals in more detail than I thought a five year old can handle and currently grasping the concept of the difference between the human world and the natural world. He math is acceptional she wants no help with addiction, needs limited help for subtraction and is already getting bored with single digits. In a month!
I have to admit deciding to home school was the hardest decision I've ever made realizing the time commitment to prepare plans and the patience when she definitely acts like she's five. Temper tantrums wear off eventually but it's like aftershocks of 3 years right? Hahaha I as a Mom and just plain human being usually feel inadequate about, well, everything and so her be so successful gives me hope that I might be worth something to somebody. So please with her progress and willingness to learn, she's eager for it. We have so much fun together most days and adding her swimming lessons, playdates, playgroup and gymnastics she keeps me busy!
We have 5 subjects a day and three of them are what I guess I consider daily staples. Reading, Writing, and Math. We also on different days do Art, Geography, Science, and Spelling. I always believed the expression children are sponges when it comes to absorbing knowledge but wow! We began at the beginning of June and now she can read because she learned that sounding out the letters helps her figure out what the word says and is becoming very proficient in a hurry. She can say the Pledge of Allegiance on her own. She reads maps and understands how to use a compass. She's learned about plants her five senses, the difference between reptiles and mammals in more detail than I thought a five year old can handle and currently grasping the concept of the difference between the human world and the natural world. He math is acceptional she wants no help with addiction, needs limited help for subtraction and is already getting bored with single digits. In a month!
I have to admit deciding to home school was the hardest decision I've ever made realizing the time commitment to prepare plans and the patience when she definitely acts like she's five. Temper tantrums wear off eventually but it's like aftershocks of 3 years right? Hahaha I as a Mom and just plain human being usually feel inadequate about, well, everything and so her be so successful gives me hope that I might be worth something to somebody. So please with her progress and willingness to learn, she's eager for it. We have so much fun together most days and adding her swimming lessons, playdates, playgroup and gymnastics she keeps me busy!
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Middle of Summer and Just Getting Started
So far so good this month! Catie is excelling in Kindergarten at home, some days we struggle and butt heads but that sounds familiar ( Brittany) we find a way and continue on our quest for knowledge and playful learning. Catie just started her swimming lessons so far she's a very good listener and the class is only 35 minutes long. They have two teachers and about 9 kids in their class. The first day of swim class will be memorable. The teachers were performing the alligator swimming poem to encourage the kids to jump to them in the water one child at a time as the water is higher than them. As the saying goes boys will be boys and we had a scary incident with the whole two boys in the class. The teachers were helping two of their little swimmers to the ladder to climb out of the pool and one of the boys was too anxious and jumped in on his own and struggled to gasp for air. Of course like I said the teachers already had children they were helping swim to the side in their arms so his timing couldn't have been worse. He went under a lot but came out alright in the end. A beautiful example of what not to do in swim class, which of course was lost on the second boy as we he too shortly after was overanxious as well and jumped in when their backs were turned helping others a second time. I'm just glad that Catie has the right idea of wait for my teachers to catch me then jump in the water. Phew!
Catie is also steadily participating in her gymnastics class over the summer. She absolutely loves her new teacher over at Olympiad Gymnastics! She has a good sized class of 7 children and is always excited to listen and participate in the new things she's learning there. It's great to see her so happy. Lately St Louis has been plagued with storms and rain the past week with another week to go so all of our family waterpark outings have been put on hold until we see a nice big break in the weather. Need sunshine to warm up the water now don't we. But that's ok because all of the kids are involved in a lot this summer. Still have volleyball camp and Young Women's Camp coming up excited to see my teenagers explore and have fun!
This past week Brittany and Dyllan had the opportunity to attend Youth Conference with the St Louis North Stake. They started with registration, receiving matching t-shirts, 'family' and bus assignments and a dance. Although our son Dyllan isn't always fond of dancing in public he has discovered that since he's outnumbered 4 girls to 1 boy that he has quite the advantage when asking girls to dance lol.
Brittany had asked a friend to join them on this free event paid for by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that at first had resistant parents who she wore down ( the friend not Britt) and convinced them to let her go leaving my living room with three teenage girls over night. My son was just so thankful he got to keep his bed, we usually offer it to company when company comes to town. Luckily for me one of the teenager girls had parents that were 'parents' aka chaperones during this Conference that volunteered to pick up the four teens at 4:30am to meet the buses to Kansas City by 5. Still got up with them to ask them if they had everything and to eat breakfast but then I got to go back to bed ahhhhhhh.
They toured many sites in Kansas City had a dinner and dance outside that night in the parking lot of the LDS Independence Visitor's Center. They said they loved touring this site and enjoyed the dance and dinner I believe Jimmy John's served dinner very good for teens. They stayed overnight at the Hilton by the KC airport which according to one kid was posh and the other not as posh lol. The next morning they served in a worn down part of the city they now lovingly refer to as 'The Neighborhood'. It was very filthy and run down and just under 200 LDS youth put on their work gloves, grabbed a trash bag and started cleaning it. What impresses me the most is that regardless of how gross and stinky it was they carried on smiling, goofing off with friends, and in a generally upbeat mood thankful for the opportunity to help restore hope to this community. In fact there was one older gentleman who said just that to our son, "Thank-you for what you're doing for all of us today. You bring us hope." What a wonderful opportunity to serve and to be more thankful for what you have in your own lives.
They then traveled to Far West and Adam-Ondi-Ahman. At Adam-Ondi-Ahman they along with their 'families' ( their groups of kids and chaperones) had family home evening. They learned about what Adam-Ondi-Ahman was and enjoyed visiting in their smaller groups. I am sure that this was a great spiritual moment for most, but what really impressed me was that this entire group was covered in butterflies that showed up flying around them but landed comfortably on all of them without hesitation. How peaceful. How special. How still. Of course after that was dinner aka pizza aka number one hit with teens. They climbed on the buses and got home late but happy with lots of good and fun experiences to remember and cherish.
I am thankful that my children include me as much as they do as teenagers and want me to be a part of their everyday lives. It's such a rewarding feeling to see them learn and discover that they are an important part of this world and that they will have no trouble finding their place in it. How important it is to be a productive part of society and your community and school. Our children are just the world to us, challenge us and uplift us every day. Looking forward to the rest of our summer and the experiences we have yet to have.
Catie is also steadily participating in her gymnastics class over the summer. She absolutely loves her new teacher over at Olympiad Gymnastics! She has a good sized class of 7 children and is always excited to listen and participate in the new things she's learning there. It's great to see her so happy. Lately St Louis has been plagued with storms and rain the past week with another week to go so all of our family waterpark outings have been put on hold until we see a nice big break in the weather. Need sunshine to warm up the water now don't we. But that's ok because all of the kids are involved in a lot this summer. Still have volleyball camp and Young Women's Camp coming up excited to see my teenagers explore and have fun!
This past week Brittany and Dyllan had the opportunity to attend Youth Conference with the St Louis North Stake. They started with registration, receiving matching t-shirts, 'family' and bus assignments and a dance. Although our son Dyllan isn't always fond of dancing in public he has discovered that since he's outnumbered 4 girls to 1 boy that he has quite the advantage when asking girls to dance lol.
Brittany had asked a friend to join them on this free event paid for by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that at first had resistant parents who she wore down ( the friend not Britt) and convinced them to let her go leaving my living room with three teenage girls over night. My son was just so thankful he got to keep his bed, we usually offer it to company when company comes to town. Luckily for me one of the teenager girls had parents that were 'parents' aka chaperones during this Conference that volunteered to pick up the four teens at 4:30am to meet the buses to Kansas City by 5. Still got up with them to ask them if they had everything and to eat breakfast but then I got to go back to bed ahhhhhhh.
They toured many sites in Kansas City had a dinner and dance outside that night in the parking lot of the LDS Independence Visitor's Center. They said they loved touring this site and enjoyed the dance and dinner I believe Jimmy John's served dinner very good for teens. They stayed overnight at the Hilton by the KC airport which according to one kid was posh and the other not as posh lol. The next morning they served in a worn down part of the city they now lovingly refer to as 'The Neighborhood'. It was very filthy and run down and just under 200 LDS youth put on their work gloves, grabbed a trash bag and started cleaning it. What impresses me the most is that regardless of how gross and stinky it was they carried on smiling, goofing off with friends, and in a generally upbeat mood thankful for the opportunity to help restore hope to this community. In fact there was one older gentleman who said just that to our son, "Thank-you for what you're doing for all of us today. You bring us hope." What a wonderful opportunity to serve and to be more thankful for what you have in your own lives.
They then traveled to Far West and Adam-Ondi-Ahman. At Adam-Ondi-Ahman they along with their 'families' ( their groups of kids and chaperones) had family home evening. They learned about what Adam-Ondi-Ahman was and enjoyed visiting in their smaller groups. I am sure that this was a great spiritual moment for most, but what really impressed me was that this entire group was covered in butterflies that showed up flying around them but landed comfortably on all of them without hesitation. How peaceful. How special. How still. Of course after that was dinner aka pizza aka number one hit with teens. They climbed on the buses and got home late but happy with lots of good and fun experiences to remember and cherish.
I am thankful that my children include me as much as they do as teenagers and want me to be a part of their everyday lives. It's such a rewarding feeling to see them learn and discover that they are an important part of this world and that they will have no trouble finding their place in it. How important it is to be a productive part of society and your community and school. Our children are just the world to us, challenge us and uplift us every day. Looking forward to the rest of our summer and the experiences we have yet to have.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
What a Day I'm Having!!
If I would have known what kind of day was coming I think I would have begged for the miracle of time travel to a time where I could get that confidence boost from previous triumph or good day to help carry me through this one. I feel like Alexander and have joined him in a terrible horrible no good very bad day.
I woke up way too early this morning for a summer vacation ( 5:30) and finally rolled out of bed around 6. Aunt Rose is visiting and she brings with her the tightening and cramping of what feels to be all my innards in a boxing match. Have to take my hypothyroid med before I can take any pain killers. So annoyed. I do my hair, brush my teeth, get dressed, and discover when I walk into the front room that the fallen paint water cup stain, an event that was wonderful in and of itself ( she says sarcastically) fell all over my white carpet and to my chagrin is still prominently black, well maybe a dark grey. Resolve has failed me.
I have a family member this morning that woke up with a full emotional plate and seemed a bit down. I hugged and asked if there was anything I can do with a no response. ( frustrating) I smile and listen as they speak somewhat about what's bothering them and then ask again if there's anything I can do to help. This time the answer is, "No I'm fine." ( stare here )
I go to do some banking and due to a viral event last week with our computer have changed all of our passwords. Makes banking interesting. I wrote everything down so I wouldn't mess anything up or forget to discover that apparently some of the financial institutions I work with don't like my new passwords and I have been locked out of at least 3 of them this morning. That's awesome.
Have already dropped off and picked up our oldest daughter from basketball practice. She pushed herself too hard and became extremely dizzy and nauseated. Having our background with seizures I of course try not to panic and pray that there will be no event before or after picking her up as she and our son are headed to a youth dance tonight and then out of town on a youth trip. My calm attitude about this event is now riddled with worry which hopefully subsides when I realize that she'll be with lots of adult leaders and friends, they both will, and if anything happens I'm not that far away. Haven't quite realized it yet even though she seems fine and says she's fine.
I have yet to start our day of kindergarten because I'm struggling to keep the older kids motivated enough to prepare for their departure this weekend as well as inform our little one of all the reasons that she can't go with them. Fun fun. I would have looked at it as good the older kids are gone Mom and Dad are mine! But she feels a bit left out. When she starts getting all the attention this weekend and then her brother and sister return I assure you they will become an inconvenience for her.
I still have plenty of driving kids to and fro this afternoon and evening as well as tomorrow early morning ( I'll be up at 4am) and we will still be having Kindergarten today even though my kindergartner will be pouting the entire time 'cause she can't go. Hmph! At this point having finally had the chance to eat breakfast ( only took me 5 hours ) and taken my diabetic medication I can now soothe Aunt Rose's vice grip on my uterus long enough to make it to and fro with my kids. Ahh life is great isn't it?
I woke up way too early this morning for a summer vacation ( 5:30) and finally rolled out of bed around 6. Aunt Rose is visiting and she brings with her the tightening and cramping of what feels to be all my innards in a boxing match. Have to take my hypothyroid med before I can take any pain killers. So annoyed. I do my hair, brush my teeth, get dressed, and discover when I walk into the front room that the fallen paint water cup stain, an event that was wonderful in and of itself ( she says sarcastically) fell all over my white carpet and to my chagrin is still prominently black, well maybe a dark grey. Resolve has failed me.
I have a family member this morning that woke up with a full emotional plate and seemed a bit down. I hugged and asked if there was anything I can do with a no response. ( frustrating) I smile and listen as they speak somewhat about what's bothering them and then ask again if there's anything I can do to help. This time the answer is, "No I'm fine." ( stare here )
I go to do some banking and due to a viral event last week with our computer have changed all of our passwords. Makes banking interesting. I wrote everything down so I wouldn't mess anything up or forget to discover that apparently some of the financial institutions I work with don't like my new passwords and I have been locked out of at least 3 of them this morning. That's awesome.
Have already dropped off and picked up our oldest daughter from basketball practice. She pushed herself too hard and became extremely dizzy and nauseated. Having our background with seizures I of course try not to panic and pray that there will be no event before or after picking her up as she and our son are headed to a youth dance tonight and then out of town on a youth trip. My calm attitude about this event is now riddled with worry which hopefully subsides when I realize that she'll be with lots of adult leaders and friends, they both will, and if anything happens I'm not that far away. Haven't quite realized it yet even though she seems fine and says she's fine.
I have yet to start our day of kindergarten because I'm struggling to keep the older kids motivated enough to prepare for their departure this weekend as well as inform our little one of all the reasons that she can't go with them. Fun fun. I would have looked at it as good the older kids are gone Mom and Dad are mine! But she feels a bit left out. When she starts getting all the attention this weekend and then her brother and sister return I assure you they will become an inconvenience for her.
I still have plenty of driving kids to and fro this afternoon and evening as well as tomorrow early morning ( I'll be up at 4am) and we will still be having Kindergarten today even though my kindergartner will be pouting the entire time 'cause she can't go. Hmph! At this point having finally had the chance to eat breakfast ( only took me 5 hours ) and taken my diabetic medication I can now soothe Aunt Rose's vice grip on my uterus long enough to make it to and fro with my kids. Ahh life is great isn't it?
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
The Titleless Post
Throughout my entire life when things are murky but trudging along still at a steady pace I find contentment. At least for a while anyways. You don't really notice anything creeping up on you when you're in a blissful state. In my case it's a bunch of little things that add up quickly. Youth Conference, cubscout camp ( I'm a den leader), Young Women's Camp, Volleyball Camp, Summer Gymnastics, Basketball Camp, you get the idea. All the forms and registration and fees and coordination. I don't mind it really just always nervous I'm gonna miss that one thing that could ruin our summer. Like discovering that I need to renew my passport like now if I want to visit Alberta. Fun discovery. Good times. No need to panic.
I've tried so hard to be a friend, to be a good Mom, a supportive wife, to be helpful. Sometimes it can overwhelm me but I'd rather take on a lot and feel useful than nothing and feel bored. Lately I feel very uneasy around people. Like they're in on it , whatever IT is and I have no idea what's going on. We all feel that way at some point right? But service sure makes you feel better.
I worry a lot lately about my health too. Last night I got this... report I guess you would call it. Laid out my medical history over the past 2 years. All the medications I've had to take and when. When certain blood and urine tests were done. I had to bite my lower lip to keep from crying. I was always relatively healthy my whole life. I've always loved sports and try to stay active despite hardly ever losing a pound. This of course frustrates me especially since all society will see is some overweight woman wow she must just sit there and do nothing. Too many pieces of chocolate cake and fried chicken. If they only knew how often and far I walk every week or how I avoid carbs almost a little bit to the extreme just avoid gaining weight.
I love fruits and vegetables far more than junk food, fast food always makes me feel sick. In the summer when all these fruits and vegetables are in season I can't resist binging on them a little bit. Sometimes too much fiber lol but overall makes me feel lighter. The heat brings a desire to drink more water. My family will laugh at that because I drink water all day long as it is, they'll think I'm trying to drown myself if I add more. But we're supposed to do it because it's healthy and it makes you feel good. I'm looking forward to swimming since I love to swim but I'm sure the public will disagree when they see me in a bathing suit.
Every time I feel icky, which diabetics no matter how hard we work at it just will from time to time, I feel like all these people around me get to go out there and live their lives as healthy individuals and sometimes it hurts me. Not because I'm not happy for them, but because I can't keep up. The Spirit is willing but the body......tries so hard and I expect so much out of it because it's what I've always been used to.
I am so truly thankful for my family and friends that love and support me. Not only in words but in their actions of compassion and encouragement. That it's okay. I'm working still, and probably always will be, on being okay with it. That we have to roll with the punches and do the best we got with what we have.
I've tried so hard to be a friend, to be a good Mom, a supportive wife, to be helpful. Sometimes it can overwhelm me but I'd rather take on a lot and feel useful than nothing and feel bored. Lately I feel very uneasy around people. Like they're in on it , whatever IT is and I have no idea what's going on. We all feel that way at some point right? But service sure makes you feel better.
I worry a lot lately about my health too. Last night I got this... report I guess you would call it. Laid out my medical history over the past 2 years. All the medications I've had to take and when. When certain blood and urine tests were done. I had to bite my lower lip to keep from crying. I was always relatively healthy my whole life. I've always loved sports and try to stay active despite hardly ever losing a pound. This of course frustrates me especially since all society will see is some overweight woman wow she must just sit there and do nothing. Too many pieces of chocolate cake and fried chicken. If they only knew how often and far I walk every week or how I avoid carbs almost a little bit to the extreme just avoid gaining weight.
I love fruits and vegetables far more than junk food, fast food always makes me feel sick. In the summer when all these fruits and vegetables are in season I can't resist binging on them a little bit. Sometimes too much fiber lol but overall makes me feel lighter. The heat brings a desire to drink more water. My family will laugh at that because I drink water all day long as it is, they'll think I'm trying to drown myself if I add more. But we're supposed to do it because it's healthy and it makes you feel good. I'm looking forward to swimming since I love to swim but I'm sure the public will disagree when they see me in a bathing suit.
Every time I feel icky, which diabetics no matter how hard we work at it just will from time to time, I feel like all these people around me get to go out there and live their lives as healthy individuals and sometimes it hurts me. Not because I'm not happy for them, but because I can't keep up. The Spirit is willing but the body......tries so hard and I expect so much out of it because it's what I've always been used to.
I am so truly thankful for my family and friends that love and support me. Not only in words but in their actions of compassion and encouragement. That it's okay. I'm working still, and probably always will be, on being okay with it. That we have to roll with the punches and do the best we got with what we have.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Almost There!
It's almost the end of the school year. The end of 5am's, taxi service, sports activities this way and that, spreading myself too thin and being so busy I can't think straight. I am so looking forward to sleeping in ( 7am probably) and a less scheduled life including reading books from the library, swimming, camping, and vacation time. Ahhhh it's almost summer!
With two teenagers in high school and a daughter repeating an extra year of preschool ( she started a year early at 3 years old) it has been exceptionally busy this year. To top that off my husband, dr physicist laser boy (his official name in his mind), has been extraordinarily busy with marine systems and I became a cub scout leader in February. Not to mention all the teen dances including prom, all the awards nights end of school banquets and graduating from preschool. Albeit fun and adventurous it will be much deserved to play in the pool with my five year old and suntan with a book. I look forward to having time to do projects around the house, working on our yard ( when it's not 100% humidity), and taking the kids to the mall or a movie or whatever. Whatever we want.
I am truly thankful for this past year. Our family has accomplished a lot looking back and hope to have more time to accomplish more personal goals and spending more time together. I feel like I'm counting down the hours, not just the days, to the first day I get to sleep past 5 and have a day with nothing scheduled on the calendar. More ups than downs, and it's always awesome to watch your kids grow up and discover who they are and want they want to be in life. I know for our eldest daughter Brittany that has been a struggle this year. She established she wants to go to college but had a really hard time determining for what! It made her excited, scared, frustrated ( there were tears) but I think she has a handle on it now. So far..........hmmm.......I think she said nurse? At any rate I'm happy for her to be able to finish her senior year (2016) and take on life with a new found freedom. ( Please don't use your freedom to do something stupid it'll freak me out)
Our son really enjoyed his Freshman year at East High despite a rough start. He's ending on a high note ( so far finals are next week) playing his final volleyball tournament this past Saturday. He has discovered he really loves it and wants to keep playing over the summer to improve his skills so he can come back better and stronger for next year. I remember loving volleyball, now I just sit and cheer. I personally made it a goal to be at every single one of his games this season, encouraging my daughters to come and join in ( I think they missed only once or twice), it was really important to me that he have that support. Even Dad got in a few games, mostly varsity but still.
We are definitely counting down our vacation still, we desperately miss the Alberta Rocky Mountains and can't wait to get back to them ( mostly cause they smell good). It's becoming a bit of a challenge, having pets, to find people available to help us look after them but we're working on it hopefully no kitty hotels for us ( honestly Psycho will pitch an absolute fit). Since it'll be so hot by the time we leave we decided camping that time of year probably a bad thing ( I will melt like the wicked witch of the west it won't be pretty) although we really do love to camp so we're still debating bringing camping gear just in case. We can't wait! So excited!
With two teenagers in high school and a daughter repeating an extra year of preschool ( she started a year early at 3 years old) it has been exceptionally busy this year. To top that off my husband, dr physicist laser boy (his official name in his mind), has been extraordinarily busy with marine systems and I became a cub scout leader in February. Not to mention all the teen dances including prom, all the awards nights end of school banquets and graduating from preschool. Albeit fun and adventurous it will be much deserved to play in the pool with my five year old and suntan with a book. I look forward to having time to do projects around the house, working on our yard ( when it's not 100% humidity), and taking the kids to the mall or a movie or whatever. Whatever we want.
I am truly thankful for this past year. Our family has accomplished a lot looking back and hope to have more time to accomplish more personal goals and spending more time together. I feel like I'm counting down the hours, not just the days, to the first day I get to sleep past 5 and have a day with nothing scheduled on the calendar. More ups than downs, and it's always awesome to watch your kids grow up and discover who they are and want they want to be in life. I know for our eldest daughter Brittany that has been a struggle this year. She established she wants to go to college but had a really hard time determining for what! It made her excited, scared, frustrated ( there were tears) but I think she has a handle on it now. So far..........hmmm.......I think she said nurse? At any rate I'm happy for her to be able to finish her senior year (2016) and take on life with a new found freedom. ( Please don't use your freedom to do something stupid it'll freak me out)
Our son really enjoyed his Freshman year at East High despite a rough start. He's ending on a high note ( so far finals are next week) playing his final volleyball tournament this past Saturday. He has discovered he really loves it and wants to keep playing over the summer to improve his skills so he can come back better and stronger for next year. I remember loving volleyball, now I just sit and cheer. I personally made it a goal to be at every single one of his games this season, encouraging my daughters to come and join in ( I think they missed only once or twice), it was really important to me that he have that support. Even Dad got in a few games, mostly varsity but still.
We are definitely counting down our vacation still, we desperately miss the Alberta Rocky Mountains and can't wait to get back to them ( mostly cause they smell good). It's becoming a bit of a challenge, having pets, to find people available to help us look after them but we're working on it hopefully no kitty hotels for us ( honestly Psycho will pitch an absolute fit). Since it'll be so hot by the time we leave we decided camping that time of year probably a bad thing ( I will melt like the wicked witch of the west it won't be pretty) although we really do love to camp so we're still debating bringing camping gear just in case. We can't wait! So excited!
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