Children are such a blessing and a special gift. They make us laugh, they make us cry, they challenge us to our very cores most often than not. We try to encourage, direct, enforce, discourage, and challenge them back as much as we can. It's an honor to be a part of their lives, watch a human being grow into an adult with ambition and passion about life all their own.
But I am sooooo tired. I find myself sacrificing everything for my children all the time. Sounds great that I do that right? But at what cost? What good am I to my kids if I over do it? We are going through, still, that part of toddlerdom where they keep changing their sleep habits and keep trying to go back the one they liked . You know the one I mean. The one where they are up til the wee hours of the morning and sleep in. It's like teenager practice. Due to our eldest daughter's schedule this is just impossible! We are up around 5am every morning so to stay up with our toddler or allow her to stay up past even 9pm we really struggle to keep going. Expecially me.
I see my husband get to the end of his rope after trying to help her relax and calm down. We have literally done everything. Her nighttime routine is awesome and she does really well with it until all of the sudden the last few nights it doesn't phase her. So we thought about and decided maybe if we begin a half hour earlier doing her routine it will help. It's worse! I feel like a walking Zombie that turns into pumpkin guts after 8:30pm.
Her routine is as follows, 7:30 bathtime, we have noticed if we miss this it's a longer struggle and I'm hoping adding lavender baby bath will help. At 8pm we walk around the house with her turning off all the lights so she can see we are shutting the house down for the night. We figured making her a part of that would help her eventually understand this means everyone needs to be thinking about bedtime. It worked for a while but she could care less now. The slightest interruption of her bedtime routine and she thinks we've cancelled bedtime lol but we continue on. Then we put on one lamp, the same lamp every night, and we read to her in quiet and calm voices to help soothe and relax her. I have always read to my children at night since our first was born so this habit is easy. Of course the oldest two read on their own before bed now. Then if rock and quietly sing to her until she's asleep which usually took maybe 3 mins but just to be safe we do it about 10 even if she's fallen asleep. The whole thing takes maybe an hour and a half at the most so we are usually at 'free time' at 9pm at the latest.
I am having a hard time putting my foot down when she refuses to calm down or sleep and handing her off to hubby while I go to bed. I'm the one up at 5am dealing with the oldest kids, making sure they are eating breakfast, helping them with lunches, driving daughter to seminary and then high school. When I get back I am making sure hubby is up and help him with his lunch and breakfast and send him off to work and our son off to junior high school. I try to make sure our baby girl is up shortly after that so that she naps earlier and shorter so that when we hit 7:30pm she'll be ready for bed again. I am finding that so hard lately though having stayed up late with her and getting up early with the others. I try not to but I'm always falling asleep on the couch or in the chair or wherever I am after everyone has left for the day which means she sleeps in.
Is it worth me staying up late to help hubby out if she's not asleep by 9? Am I spreading myself too thin? I could be grouchy during the days but I choose not to be. I just endure the best I can until she falls asleep, aching to nap with her lol. Doesn't always work though, some days I get a second wind just when she conks out. Then by the time she wakes up I've been thinking about napping quickly before she does. I'm getting to the point where this is going to affect my health. If I don't get the sleep I need my body can't rest and heal like it's meant to. I keep thinking this is just temporary though, she's growing every day and the longer we stick to her routine the more likely it will be that it will be her habit. Her body will just catch on oh it's time to sleep now.
She's not even overstimulated before bed she plays quietly to herself after dinner. During the day she runs around a lot and plays with everything. We tickle, we chase, we challenge her knowledge of things. I feel stuck. I don't want to abandon hubby at night but I need to be there in full capacity from 5am on the next day. Am I doing the right thing sacrificing my sleep for my kids?
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