Friday, April 20, 2012

Happy Anniversary My Love

Over 8 years ago I met this guy but not in how most of you say, the conventional way? It was just a website and a meant for someone else conversation. I know I was trying to message a friend in AZ about a rafting trip that all of us wanted to do. Some of us had just met each other at a Single Adult conference and some of us had been chatting with some of them on this chat site and had invited them up. Was a great dinner and fun weekend for sure! Anywho, I had some friends over that night and we were chatting to all of them about the cost of the trip etc. I ran to the kitchen to grab a drink of water. Funny thing is I remember all of this clearly. What I don't remember clearly is Nate having a window open on my monitor and I had asked HIM if he was good at saving money cause this trip might cost a little bit. Oops. Still not sure if that was me that messaged him but accidents happen. Didn't care, I thought cool hey the more the merrier can't exactly say nope you can't come now could I?

I think I chatted to him maybe a few times more on that site on occasion. He and I exchanged MSN addy's and presto! A conversation started that lasted about oh 2 1/2 months I guess. I finally felt comfortable to give him my number, what he doesn't know is that I was thinking if he harasses me all I have to do is change my number so no worries. But his accent!! Smooth, sweet voice. I used to beg him to call me when I couldn't sleep cause his voice and demeanor were so soothing to me it was like a lullaby and I could pass out no problem.

Eventually, after several im's, emails, phone calls I thought it looks like this could turn into something but I wanted to let him know I can't do online dating thing for two reasons. One I had no idea what it was or how to go about it cause I been dating for a long time and never with a computer lol. Two, I refused to have an "online" relationship and had heard of people doing that and just horror stories of how it turned out and I had two little ones to think of so um no.

He bought a plane ticket. Came just after spending Christmas with his family where I'm sure they asked a million questions I feel bad for that lol. I remember almost missing him. I was doing a crossword puzzle at the gate and was really into it and frustrated with one word when I looked up and around I saw that most of the people had come out so I looked around. He was sort of hiding behind a tall guy and a pillar. I already knew he was scruffy looking, nothing a razor and some scissors couldn't fix lol. I remember feeling anxious in a good way and, to my surprise, calm. Yes calm! I should have been a nervous wreck who am I? I've never done anything like this before! But there I was calm.

My kids really got along with him well. My dad did the dad thing in the living room where he could talk to him, I felt 16 again NOT in a good way but considering the circumstances I understood. What really reassured me was that both of us had never heard of nor done anything like this before so that was a big plus. Hated to think he was one of "those" where you meet people all the time online and in real life you abandon them. I had heard some stories lol.

When he left the storm came. My ex had pulled me aside at one point after meeting him and said you can do better. You can do better than most men in this world you deserve someone you don't think you deserve. That got me thinking. Then there was the long distance, he was in Chicago, I was in Magrath. Then I remember feeling really really scared and I started to cry uncontrollably so much so that I had to pull over on my way home from the airport to collect myself. What if he was mean to me like the others. What if he was easily convinced not to trust his own instincts and always follow friends, easily controlled. I hate that and I certainly wasn't up for how that made me feel. What if he hurts me and hurts my kids, maybe not physically but emotionally. I must have sat there a good 40 mins going over everything that had happened since my monitor was showing his profile and a window that I don't remember opening.

I prayed a lot for guidance. I fasted a lot to hold a strong weight to my prayers because I was very serious about this guy now, very sweet, goal oriented, hard working, and yes believe it or not, the accent lol. I decided eventually to just let the chips fall where they may. Have a little faith. Lots of phone calls later I had the opportunity to fly to Chicago where I spent most of my time sleeping, I had noooooo idea being a single mother had worn me out that much. Slept while he was at the lab and we went out when he came back I really enjoyed it! I had to admit I'd fallen in love, with Chicago. Duh, was already falling for Nate hallo!

On the phone before Chicago a very personal experience that neither of us could explain, even now, occurred and both of us new that this was how it was supposed to be. We had been meant for allll of this to happen all along and brought together by a much more powerful force than the internet. Guided. Almost like matchmaking.

In Chicago he presented me with a ring. I didn't really see that coming we were watching a movie and his head was on my lap. He just kind of rolled over with a ring and proposed. Was sweet and simple just how I like it. No frills. I don't mind frills on occasion but for the most part I prefer simple. And this was perfect.

We had our date set for May 20th. Invitations sent for wedding and open house. Then all the "stuff" I HAD to do for a wedding and reception started to take over. I noticed that we were both more edgy. We started fighting a lot. And not over anything particularly important either lol. Just tense. On the morning of April 20th, 2004 we called up my Bishop at work and scared him into a nervous shake. We said we want to elope to your office in a couple hours Bishop. We already have our marriage liscense. What do you say? Silence. "Are you serious right now cause my hands are starting to shake?" Lol. Nate said he would rather just get married in jeans and tshirt than have to go through all the wedding stuff and I agreed with him. He wore a suit. I on the other hand wore a red tshirt and a black jean skirt, jeans and a tshirt. Immediately after we were married my children asked Nate, Can we call you Daddy.

Happy Anniversary Hubby. Such an amazing beginning to our story in this life and in the eternities. I feel lucky and blessed everyday just to know you and be a part of your world. I'm grateful for you beyond measure. Here's to forever sweetheart.

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