Crucial and important in every parenting life. When to let go, how much and what kind of consequences am I willing to accept on my teenagers behalf? I'm at this important cross road in parenting. Where I've taught all the basics repeatedly as well as some helpful extras based on my own experience in life and feel that the rest is up to their own experience and from here on out the bulk of the responsibility should be theirs.
I might have some of you disagreeing with me and that's fine. You aren't me with my experiences and you don't know my children like I do so feel free to disagree all you'd like. For those of you who know what I'm talking about feedback is key and I would love to hear everything you have on the subject including experiences of your own.
My personal opinion about this subject is it's just time to let go. I accept they'll make mistakes. I accept that they will learn and grow in leaps and bounds at this age. I'm still here if they need me, when they need me, even if they don't think they need me lol. I'm ok with that. Feels good, like I'm making the right decision at the right time. I know that schools and parents usually go directly to the parents of the child that may cause problems with their own children but maybe that's not how we should be doing this. Maybe the conversation at this age needs to be had directly with the child, parent/school present, but hopefully not out of rage or anger. If rage or anger is present perhaps allow the school or church leaders to handle it first on your behalf. In my personal experience when parents are angry it only makes matters worse. My first instinct has always been to speak with the child with their parent present directly it's more informative and usually more honest.
Now this is all well and fine that I have reached and achieved this moment in my life concerning my oldest two. But that's only 1/4 of the battle. My husband and I need to be on the same page and see this the same way. I'm totally up for the kids know how my household gos now there is just no reason to think it will go any differently. You spend a lot of time figuring out what works for everyone and compromising it would be a mistake. Rolling with individual situations is one thing but you need a base, a foundation in your home first that doesn't move or change so they know what's expected of them in the first place. I'm at the part where the rest is up to them.
The other half of the battle is for my kids to accept it. I will either get all smiles and then they'll mess up big time and I'll have to "adjust the dosage" if you will lol. Or I will get the look of shock and what do I do now look. To be honest I prefer the second it means they will proceed with a little more caution lol. I'm just tired of arguing with them over what they can and cannot do. They can do lots of things if they take care of what's more important first and they know this it's been taught all their lives thus far and will continue as such.
How are they going to learn to be more responsible for their choices if I don't let them take the bulk of the consequences?
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