The Awkward Moments of a Cold

Last week on and off again I kept getting dizzy.  More like vertigo.  I've had it before, pretty severely, when my iron gets too low and my hemoglobin and oxygen intake pretty much suck.  So naturally that's my first reaction but after fixing that or helping it along I didn't feel much better.  The number two culprit in the past for me having vertigo is sinusitis which I am prone to whenever there are allergies or too much dry air or even a virus of some kind that I've come into contact with.  Triggers it right up and I get dizzy and when I get dizzy I get nauseated.  But with a few days of a humidifier running it seemed to go away.  A couple of days ago I woke up with an extremely dry throat so naturally I'm assuming, oh I must have been snoring and thinking I sure have felt tired the past couple of days.  Hope I'm not coming down with something.  FAMOUS LAST WORDS!

While all of this is going on I am acting as though I'm just fine.  All day long playing with baby girl and tidying the house.  Preparing dinners, keeping up with kids schedules.  Coaching girls basketball, fulfilling church assignments, trying to find ways to improve my home, making sure everyone is healthy and happy and trying to help various friends with various tasks or ailments of their own.  Even if that means a short phone call just to see how they are.  I actually put that on my calendar when I know someone isn't feeling well just to cheer them up, I hope.  But yesterday morning was my body's final straw with me I'm afraid.

I stood up tripping over my own feet all the way to the bathroom which is a whole whopping 7 steps away, that was fun.  I must have grabbed the wall at least 3 times with my nails digging in to keep me upright.  Then I swallowed.  Justin Bieber that hurts!  It burns!  It aches!  It wants to choke me and kill me so I never swallow again and to be honest I'm agreeing with it.  And my head!  All of the sudden my forehead is crying foul and starts to throb and if that wasn't enough it got my temples to pitch in and gang up on me.  For the record, no I hadn't been drinking this was just plain ole cold virus wishing me a good morning and then pointing and squealing with laughter at me.  Stupid cold virus.

So what do I do?  I think to myself, holy crap I'm dying it's finally happening my body has decided to reject me permanently once and for all.  Every inch of me is aching and yelling at me like I had something to do with it.  Then I remember, I have a meeting, and then another meeting, and then another meeting.  All important.  I keep having this feeling I neeeeeeeed to be there so I look myself in the mirror and have a little conversation with myself, in my head of course cause that would just be weird, and I say, "You're too busy to be sick, you still have a couple of things you need to go over in preparation, you look pale and your eyes are have black circles and if you swallow again with that kind of pain I will kill you myself but we're gonna gargle and take an aspirin and pretend none of this is even happening!"  My body's reply, "Screw you lady I'm going back to bed!" of course I got dizzy.  Never fainted but point taken.

I got dressed, did all the things in preparation that I needed to finish and then I get the most wonderful phone call in the world.  All you mom's out there who are always so busy that getting sick just isn't an option you understand how wonderful it is to get a phone to tell you that everything has been cancelled and you can stay home today.  Cue Hallelujah Chorus.

Me and my coughing, phlemy, headaching, throat trying to strangle me into submission self take off all my dress up clothes and put on a robe immediately followed by grabbing a bottle of water, some tissue, a trash can, a pillow and the remote and plant myself on my couch warning everyone in my family, nobody touch me or I'll lick your donuts and your cereal spoons.  The most blissful words to my ears when I'm sick is take some time to rest.

My throat is still at war with me and my eyelids feel like they are permanently drooping and when I sneeze I could drown an anthill.  My body still aches everywhere(who put muscles there!) and when I talk on the phone I sound like I have large man's low scratchy voice.  I cancelled my doctor's appointment BECAUSE I was too sick.  I feel like an old dirty sock.  My sweet baby girl keeps trying to 'take care of me' bring me soda pop, tissues when I sneeze saying bless you Mom, giving me lots of hugs but no kisses cause she doesn't want to get sick.  She's two and literally put her hand up to my lips, "I no sick Mom".  How adorable is that?  Is it wrong to think this is worth the cold?

Common Cold

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds! 

Ogden Nash

An Old Dream Revisited

When I was about 16 years of age I began having a series of dreams that weren't necessarily all the same dream but almost like 2 months of watching a futuristic movie of myself in a pattern or sequence.  It was so detailed that I can literally draw a map of the house right down to where the furniture was in each room.

It was always at Thanksgiving.  I was always working in the kitchen with my parents preparing food.  My husband, who always had his face blotched or missing in some fashion would walk in the door wearing a navy blue suit and carrying a briefcase.  I believe I'm facing north and he is walking in the door on the west side of the house.  The way the kitchen was there was two cupboards top and bottom with a space in between so you could see the back door open and the top cupboard was glass and had what we called the nice dishes that we don't want to break in it.  I remember seeing my dad taking the turkey out of the oven, my mom helping me with the sides and I'm always 9 months pregnant with an extremely intelligent 2-3 year old boy manipulating company and other family members to do this with him or give him things that he already knows Mom and Dad said no to.  In this case it was asking my mother for an oatmeal raisin cookie from the cookie jar me saying no and my mom handing it to him giggling and sweetly saying here you go.

There were 3 individuals in my two story ceiling 'family room' (facing same way I did when hubby walked in) two were older individuals that I kept thinking reminded me of my Father's parents and then a young man shirtless with tattoos that had just come in from playing basketball with my eldest son who was tall and slender.  Keep in mind I'm only 16 when I'm having this dream okay.  I see him playing with a younger sister who in my mind is the middle child of the family and they are very close.  Best of friends they look up to each other and inspire each other all their lives.  On the wall between the kitchen and the den, I can literally see all the degrees on the wall and the library of text books with it inside, is a picture of my oldest daughter who isn't there but is about 22 years of age in the photo and looks an awful lot like me only in my opinion more beautiful with her auburn hair and twinkle in her eyes.  I get the impression that she is married now with one child and that her and her husband are at his family's home for Thanksgiving.

Then it occurs to me, I'm Canadian, that I'm not in Canada but somewhere in the US.  I can see out my kitchen window on the west wall and there are mountains and grassy hills outside.  It's cold and cloudy with some sun shining through and around sunset.  I see a fenced field, ours, and a wide porch with no railings just plain 'old fashioned' wood.

If I had been the one walking into the home like my husband did I would see a grand room bigger than the house I live in now that is wide open space with a dining room set on the north east corner with stairs going downstairs behind it, bedrooms/rooms straight ahead of me with a simple suspended staircase going upstairs and the upstairs rooms are off a balcony hallway so you can see in side.  The master bedroom is upstairs in the southeast corner of the home.  I have twins bunking in the room below it, you can see their walls and beds covered with sports.  On the south there is one one story guest room on the main floor beside a bathroom, the two story den, and the two story kitchen.  Upstairs there is another bedroom above the guest room across from the master bedroom that houses 3 girls who are close in age all my daughters.  Beside the masterbedroom on the east wall upstairs is the baby's room whom the 2-3 year old has recently evacuated moving in with his oldest brother in the room beside it.  There was another room downstairs that would be the equivalent of both the baby room and the brother's room that was the tv/play room.  I remember smiling when I saw that thinking aaahhh a door.

Take a minute, I  realize holy cow detailed right?  Had this same dream every night for 2 months at 16 just reminding you.  I even knew that there was a two story party room beside the bedrooms at the farthest north east corner of the house.  Behind the stairs and through the balcony.  Was the only way to get into the room from the main part of the house.  It was a two story staircase that starts narrow at the top and tapers out towards the floor.  Double doors in front of you making an east entrance into the house with two large white pillars just outside of it.  If you are walking in the doors facing west to your right on the east wall is a soda fountain bar with a freezer filled with ice cream for floats.  Behind that and the stools is a pool table, then a foosball table, then a couch two big comfy chairs, a  jukebox and a dart board.  Undoubtedly one of my favorite rooms no wonder it was hard to get to and locked up unless there was a party.

Back near the kitchen if you walk out the west door ( the back door in the west is technically the front door and the east door is technically the back door) you see another door to the outside of the house and a mudroom with lockers to your immediate right and through that to your right if you walk through there is a sun room filled with a comfortable couch, big lazy chair, coffee table with magazines on it and plants.  Walking back and outside the outer door you would be standing on that big ole porch that wraps to the end of the kitchen to your south or left because it runs into the 3 car garage and then all the way to the end of the house to the north.  Big ole wooden rocking chair to your right.  Porch swing to your left.

I relived this dream again recently.  Every detail, every smell, every happy feeling of family and an organized home and being out in the country.  When I was 16 all I could think about was I'm never getting married, I want to live in a big city with friends, and I'm going to be a rich business woman with a nice jaguar and an old mustang.  Did I mention the dirty mustang in the driveway of my dream?

Eyes of the Beholder...only the beholder isn't always Me

Finding a balance.  We hear it often through media, books, magazines, talk shows, church callings and friends.  I live for my kids.  I admit that out loud.  I live for my kids they are my top priority.  So much so that occasionally they act as though I am a nuisance lol and tell me to back off.  Sometimes I feel like the mother in that movie New Year's Eve that kept following all of the teenage kids around 'discreetly' hiding behind magazines in plain sight and lurking around every corner as her daughter and her friends were gathering at Time Square to watch the ball drop.  Then there are times where I feel neglectful only to find my teenagers like it that way.

This is a shift in life.  A hard one too because although I have two children who want more independence I believe it has to be earned not just simply handed over without any guidance along the way.  I also have a toddler who is growing into little girl phase and leaving her baby phase so there's a lot going on there!  Hard to keep track sometimes and I hate that feeling that I might be leaving someone out more than another but I don't see how since I speak with each of them on a daily basis.  I love that they come home and I'm the one they want to tell everything to.  That part I must have done right because from what I hear it's rare.  My kids don't walk in the door say hi mom and then disappear behind a door when they get home they talk to me right from the get go.  Of course Mom makes it a point to ask on a daily basis as well to let them know I'm interested in them and what's going on in their lives.

Granted I don't need every single detail of everything that goes on.  Our son tends to be very detailed in a simple day at school so much so that it might take just as long to listen to it as it was to live it so we have been trying to teach that summaries are an awesome way to tell us everything going on with him and we also try to steer the conversation and keep the focus on him so we don't get all of the 'gossip' of who did what to whom.  We are working on it in a positive way, I think, and he's an amazingly brilliant kid with a fantastic memory.  He stole it from me I just know it!

Our oldest daughter tends to be a bit more like her Dad in the respect of trying to keep it to herself. Sometimes a little too bottled up but for the most part I think she has the right idea.  Deal with it herself and show that she can handle it on her own.  I truly admire and love watching her take on life's challenges this way without feeling compelled to tattle on any friends or teachers.  She deals with it on her own as long as she thinks she can and when she breaks we help her pick it up from there.  It shows growth and maturity and it's great to watch!  She still communicates with us on a daily basis though if something is truly bothering her and we follow up frequently to let her know we haven't forgotten and see if she's made any progress.  She's finally old enough to have a good understanding that some people just aren't meant to get along but if you gave it honest effort then you have nothing to be ashamed of.  We can still be polite to people we aren't necessarily fond of.  Or we can secretly tell them what we really think of them in our minds at least right?

I think that family dinner is one of the most important things in the world these days.  I've put emphasis on it so long that I have never had to remind them not to bother bringing a tablet or a phone to the table.  They know already that this is the time we sit down together as a family and talk about anything.  It helps us reinforce 'ground rules' for our home.  It allows us the opportunity to learn something about each other we might never have known.  Lately my kids keep asking me to tell them more about myself.  The more stories they hear about my life the more they seem to want, embarrassing for me but if it inspires them I'm all for it!  We share the good, the bad, and the ugly at this table and for that one hour the world can wait.  We are just us, together in harmony, trying to strengthen and uplift each other as well as keep each other on the straight and narrow.  Well that and goof off uncontrollably.  Thankyou Mom and Dad for instilling such an important and simple way to spend time with family.

I, lately, see myself a lot differently as a result of my children.  A reflection I didn't expect to see mirrored at me.  Confidence, endurance, faith, humility, love, silly humor, genuine affection and compassion for others, and strength.  Pillars of righteousness.  I had no idea that I would ever see that reflection mirrored in my children.  It far exceeds my expectations.  Yesterday just sitting there, rare for me, I had time to think and reflect on how much I love my family.  Seeing me through their eyes was a great experience and I realized I'm a lot more important to those around me than I ever even considered.  That and I laugh at myself a great deal for the stupid stuff I do that no one sees. ( heeheehee)

I think I always thought I was on the back burner because I liked it there not because others saw me that way.  It's hard seeing yourself through another's eyes.  I always think those eyes are lying to me.  It sure made me feel like I could come up for air if nothing else and that was a great feeling!  Sometimes life helps you out in the most unexpected ways.  It's been keeping me alive and laughing for years.  Always curious, what happens next?

Interesting Journey

The past couple of days I have been on an interesting journey of self discovery.  Not necessarily things I didn't know or comprehend before but a much deeper and richer understanding of them.  A larger appreciation for my life with every ounce of it included in it, as we all know we wouldn't be who we are today without the whole thing.  This 'self discovery' I speak of I didn't even seek to find.  It found me.

So many things burden me.  I don't like my daughter's high school coach having the gall to tell me to reschedule her dentist appointment because it doesn't suit her scheduling.  I don't like that my son has ADHD and for the last 2 months when we've left a message at the nurses desk for a refill and waiting 3 days like they've asked it's still not filled on time or sometimes at all.  I don't like worrying about this economy and how it will affect my husband's job or our lifestyle because there is out of control greed in government and the people are afraid to change what they know.  I don't like worrying over my 2 year old all day every day because she's a fearless child and thinks that she's invincible. ( I know I'm not alone there at all lol )

I don't like being far away from my family and my friends.  My heart is split in two as a result.  I don't like it when people who know me from a hallway or a rumor assume and presume to judge and criticize me. ( Boy are they in for a rude awakening )  I don't like it when I try hard to be friendly and make friends but am ignored with no purpose other than they don't know how to relate to me.  ( talking to me is the only way to fix that ) I don't like it when people disagree with you they automatically assume that disagreements= rude behavior simply because your opinion is not their own.  I am not rude for stating my own opinions based on my own knowledge and personal experience.  If you disagree with me it's simply that.

That's the stuff on a daily basis that I listen to, deal with, hear about, endure.  I have looked at things lately though more like a spreadsheet.  The truth is perception is in the eyes of the beholder.  How you act and react, think and process, relate to or choose things is unique.  Individual.  Even if the circumstances are similar and you look at your friend in the same situation and are dumbfounded by their choices because you would never make them, don't.  They aren't you never will be never can be you are unique.  And so are they.

Without being able to see and think and process a person's entire life's worth of data you cannot judge them.  Quite honestly I've come to the conclusion that you probably wouldn't either.  You would find compassion and understanding more quickly.  Have a more genuine concern and love for them.  You would be less likely to worry over every little thing realizing that everything was never in your hands to begin with.  Your hands only carry you and everything you do and say and act upon affects someone else.  I'm sure you yourselves have thought about this before or heard someone else mention it at some point.  But do you take it in?  Do you apply these things?  Smart individuals are smart because they not only study and truly absorb the material they apply it to work, daily life, or where it's relevant.  The more they do this the more they learn, grow and experience.  Then in turn they add to it and pass it on without restriction.

This life is but a moment in eternity.  A pindrop.  It won't matter how popular you were in high school or college.  It won't matter if you were the highest paid executive or won a best actress oscar.  It won't matter if you were skinny or fat, tall or short, hairy or bald.  It's what you did with it that counts.

Invisible

I hope that I remembered to thank every friend and family member when they helped me out in some large or even tiny way.  I hope that I appreciated it and tried to return the favor in some way if I could.  To be honest sometimes we do things for each other that could never be returned.  Especially when it's done anonymously, my personal favorite.  Nothing could thrill me more than to offer service or donations without anyone knowing that it's me.  Brings such a smile to my heart.  Sometimes the only thing I can offer is to pray for them and wish them the best life has to offer.

I hope that I have tried to become friends with most people I've met in my life.  That I have offered to be someone they can rely on and speak to about, well, anything.  I really enjoy spoiling those people in my life that I feel have taken a genuine interest in my own.  The ones who call me to check up on me all the time or invite me out of the house without my husband and kids to have some girl time.  These friends make me so happy and inspire me to do the same not only back to them but to others as well.  Granted even the biggest or most consistent of efforts can fall by the wayside and I'm hoping I have always been grateful and shown that gratitude in abundance.  But sometimes, I forget and am forgotten.

I hope that I remember to hold my children as often as I can and tell them how much I love them.  I say I love you when I feel it and do the best I can with everyone's agendas and needs from me.  Feel like a taxi driver most often.  I hope that I will always make the time to be a support to them in their lives with all of their expanding interests.  Mom's are supposed to be the biggest cheering section no matter what and I'm glad I get to have a chance to do that.  Thankyou goes a long way.  I hope that they will always remember that I am here for them.

I hope that my husband knows how important he is to me.  I hope he knows that I see all the wonderful things he does for me and I hope that I have also done the same for him.  It's such a excellent feeling to surprise your spouse with their favorite dinner, or movie, or even a night out that they weren't expecting but desperately needed.  Alone time even just for a simple 5 minute conversation can be excruciatingly hard to find.  I try to hug and kiss him as often as I have time to.  Even just curling up on the couch once in a while    ( rare for us) is awesome.  It scares me to think that he might be thinking he is inadequate for me.  I try not to be "lazy" about our relationship.  Take it for granted.  I never want that to happen.  He says he could happily become a hermit but I don't think I could.

All I can control in my life, is me.  I have tried for years to be the kind of person that even I would want to be around.  Look at all the time I have to spend with me right?  I keep thinking maybe I'm not doing enough though.  I always think that, it's like a mantra.  Every day I wake up and think how I can improve something, especially me.  It's hard sometimes when you fall short of your own expectations of yourself.  That word, failure, I hate that word and yet I never seem to find another to describe how I feel.  I've tried my whole life to be what everyone wants me to be and could never seem to please them.  But I never stopped trying.  I don't know how to stop trying.  Now that would really be letting myself down!

A failing world...

When I was in school and didn't work hard, didn't ask questions or the teacher for extra help when I didn't understand something, or didn't study for a test I got an F.  Because I earned it.  As a result my parents and teachers would share their disappointment with me and remind me that I can do better if I try.  The more effort I put into it, the more I'll get out of it.  If anyone in my class failed the class, they were held back and repeated it.  Not as a punishment.  Because they needed to know the material in order to progress to the next level otherwise they would need more special attention and help.

When I was in school if I talked back to the teacher I was warned and told that I would have to move my desk to the very front of the class if I didn't behave.  If  I acted up again, the consequences were enforced.  If I wanted attention from my teacher I had to do well in class and participate with the material being presented.  Otherwise I was ignored, as I should have been.

When I was on team sports we understood that it was a competition and that good sportsmanship didn't equal letting the other team win.  We worked hard and played hard.  Tempers would flare, agression to win would ensue.  At the end we would smile and shake each others hands saying, "Great game!".

When I was on team sports if my coach didn't like the way I played or I talked back to her/him I was benched until I apologized or had sufficiently sat quietly showing support for my team not sulking in the corner with my tablet and bashing her/him online to everyone I knew.

When I was on team sports if our team didn't win we didn't get anything.  Not everyone can be in first place and we would cheer on the team that won.  We didn't get a ribbon or a trophy because we showed up.

When I was embarrassed at school or anywhere else, sometimes I would hide in the washroom until I felt I could face the world again.  I didn't cry, I didn't need the school counselor or teacher, I didn't call my mom or dad.

I miss that world terribly.  We are convincing our children that trying is all that matters.  That real effort and accomplishment is dead.  That an iron clad decision to succeed or not to is irrelevant.   It's become very easy for them to say they tried their best but show no or little effort.  I don't like it when children are praised for doing nothing just to make them feel more important.  I come from a world where if you want money you have to go out and make it yourself by working hard and being disciplined.  If you want fame you have to do something important with your life that's of actual value not you tube.  If you want friends you make the effort to invite them to every day things and take a genuine interest in who they are not just someone you know at church or in the school hallway that you call 'friend' on facebook.

This 'new world' is an illusion.  I don't want to be a part of a world that I have to feel sorry for all the time.  I miss the one where people had stuff happen to them, looked it in the eye and kept going.  I miss the drive you get in school when everyone is working hard to have the highest grades and have something they can be proud of that they did for themselves.  I don't like this one where people always think they are owed for being born or anything that doesn't go their way should be avenged.  Makes me sad.

Middle Aged

Look up middle aged on the internet and you know what it says?  Suicide rate of middle aged, middle aged suicides and depression, how to stay fit in your middle age.  One second.  ( Baaahahahahahahaha)  Okay, so yesterday I had a 'moment' if you will about my own mortality and aging.  It wasn't even a bad one.

Was driving home from picking up our eldest daughter from diving practice and she was singing to a song on the radio that I've heard several times but don't know all the words to yet.  My daughter on the other hand was singing away with every word and I thought to myself.  I'm my Mom.  I'm the one driving her around to all of the activities she wants to participate in and listening to her sing on the way home.  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!!  First of all, no ill will to my daughter or Mom whatsoever it was a great and happy moment and reminded me completely of myself at that age hanging with me Mum.  Very cool.  BUT, I realized that I was at the end of an era.

To explain, I grew up fast due to many circumstances in my life all playing a part ( mostly against me ) in my life and I had my fave things that would keep me happy.  Even in young adulthood I had or made time for these things so I guess it didn't really feel like I was a 'grown up' yet.  Responsible sure but not grown up.  I'm sure some of you have had that feeling.  I felt like I was playing house most of the time it didn't seem real, the kids, the husband, the divorce, the eloping with new husband, the moving to St Louis from Southern Alberta.  Felt like a weird blur and all the while in my head I felt the same.  Until yesterday.  It was like running in gym, turning to look quickly at a cute guy and smacking into the wall instead of making the turn at the corner.  Smack!  I'm old.

Here's an interesting part.  I have more energy now than I did as a young mother (what?), I'm not sure what that means but there it is.  I do know that with three kids, one of them almost three, I tend to get my share of exercise and work. ( maybe a little more on the work, ppffft teenagers )  I literally after that moment in the car on the way home thought this thought, who am I now?  My immediate reply in my head was don't go there.  One second.  ( Baaahahahahahahaha )  Okay, so anyways, I feel a little bit grumpy now because I've hit that "era" in my life where I'm in the guts of it now.  Making friends is harder, running is harder, picking stuff up off the floor is harder.  This will be hard work until my youngest graduates from high school and moves out.  Even then it isn't because I have to wait for them to situate themselves in a relatively happy lifestyle before I will feel I can, oh my word can't believe it, retire.  EEK!  (shaking head in disbelief)

I am looking forward though, to possibilities.  That's the great thing about life.  Anything is a possibility.  So many different directions you can go.  Wake up one day decide I don't like this anymore and change it.  BUT!  That's a big but so important this next part, you don't abandon your life to change it. Never.  You pick one thing to change and work on and when you feel like you're comfortably on your way you change another.  You have seen first hand your kids do it all the time growing up.  Do they abandon all their friends and family the second they want something different?  Um, no.  Neither should you.  But you can still pick and dream that you once had, consider the possibilities of it and maybe find out that you want another dream instead.  Because, (hangs head in shame and dismay), you've grown up.  Don't worry about me.  I'll get over it.  I better!

Big perk coming.  I'm older and wiser and still have my wits.  Can blow a kid outta the water with my tongue.  (big smile)  Ahhhh middle aged.

The Before and After shots of Christmas

Lots of food prepared for the event of Christmastime.  On Sunday evening we had company over and made them Swedish Meatballs, Mashed Potatoes, Creamed Cabbages, and Salad.  So delicious and complimentary with each other was an amazing pre Christmas dinner.  We asked about their traditions and shared with them since no family would be joining us this Christmas we were going to enjoy it entirely in pajamas.  We had wrapped 3 pre Christmas Eve dinner presents for our children.  The first was the Grinch ( Jim Carrey version), then a big bag of smarties from Grandma in Canada ( yummmmm), and finally our youngest with a festive long sleeved shirt hoping as parents that our little girl would wear it since it's cold and she hates clothes.  It worked but only eventually she had to be talked into it.

It was very pleasant our Christmas Eve.  Burbon and garlic rubbed beef ribs that had been slow roasting all day, a cheese dip that we make every year and usually disappears quickly, left over swedish meatballs ( my fav btw) and other odds and ends including all the cookies we had made over the course of the month and frozen were finally thawed out and enjoyed.  And yes, all of us in our pajamas comfy and warm.  Was nice to relax.  We then proceeded to a poem, and because of my Norwegian heritage, opened presents under the tree.  It was delightful to watch our youngest open her presents.  She was very excited and started a new tradition of her own.  Open and play with every single present she opens so that this will take a while lol.  We recorded every inch of it.  The highlight was watching Dad open his new xbox 360 and then watching our 13 year old son freak out because it was Dad's.  Sooooo incredibly funny.  Never heard so much squeaking in a young man's voice before and ( hehehehe) we got it all on video.  Dad had the biggest haha it's mine grin on his face which he rarely gets to do in this family.

On Christmas morning we made the kids wait to see what Santa brought them until Mom and Dad were coherent.  Not that long but apparently long enough.  Our youngest, who will be 3 in March, saw one of her favorite people sitting in the middle of our couch.  None other than Caillou who is as big as she is.  Her initial response was to say she was so glad to see him and that he came to her house and she was so happy.  Then she sat him to the side of her stocking and said, "Ok now you watch me Caillou okay?  I need to open presents."  She took him everywhere, showed him everything one piece at a time and it was so nice to see her light up that way.  Our oldest children still light up but it just isn't the same.  We have a tradition that the youngest goes first so that we can all see what Santa brought everyone we really enjoy it.  This year Santa was very smart and realized that we didn't need more 'stuff' to play with twice and let collect dust in the corner.  Santa noticed that our family has discovered less is more and therefore more meaningful that way.  Our children always go through their clothes and toys and donate what they don't use anymore around Christmas.  Another tradition we never want to lose.

It has been a very busy and very stressful year for all of us in so many different ways and quite honestly we are glad to see it go.  We as a family are determined to keep it lighter and when we feel too much pressure not be afraid to disappoint others by saying stop we need a break for a minute.  We look forward to keeping the spirit of family and cheerfulness with us throughout the year and hopefully our cheery, lighter selves will rub off a on a few people that worry a little too much.  They always say it's never as bad as you think it just seems that way because you can't escape it.  Stick with the ones you love and trust to help you and guide you, lean on them and let them lean on you.  You're going to have a great year!