A failing world...

When I was in school and didn't work hard, didn't ask questions or the teacher for extra help when I didn't understand something, or didn't study for a test I got an F.  Because I earned it.  As a result my parents and teachers would share their disappointment with me and remind me that I can do better if I try.  The more effort I put into it, the more I'll get out of it.  If anyone in my class failed the class, they were held back and repeated it.  Not as a punishment.  Because they needed to know the material in order to progress to the next level otherwise they would need more special attention and help.

When I was in school if I talked back to the teacher I was warned and told that I would have to move my desk to the very front of the class if I didn't behave.  If  I acted up again, the consequences were enforced.  If I wanted attention from my teacher I had to do well in class and participate with the material being presented.  Otherwise I was ignored, as I should have been.

When I was on team sports we understood that it was a competition and that good sportsmanship didn't equal letting the other team win.  We worked hard and played hard.  Tempers would flare, agression to win would ensue.  At the end we would smile and shake each others hands saying, "Great game!".

When I was on team sports if my coach didn't like the way I played or I talked back to her/him I was benched until I apologized or had sufficiently sat quietly showing support for my team not sulking in the corner with my tablet and bashing her/him online to everyone I knew.

When I was on team sports if our team didn't win we didn't get anything.  Not everyone can be in first place and we would cheer on the team that won.  We didn't get a ribbon or a trophy because we showed up.

When I was embarrassed at school or anywhere else, sometimes I would hide in the washroom until I felt I could face the world again.  I didn't cry, I didn't need the school counselor or teacher, I didn't call my mom or dad.

I miss that world terribly.  We are convincing our children that trying is all that matters.  That real effort and accomplishment is dead.  That an iron clad decision to succeed or not to is irrelevant.   It's become very easy for them to say they tried their best but show no or little effort.  I don't like it when children are praised for doing nothing just to make them feel more important.  I come from a world where if you want money you have to go out and make it yourself by working hard and being disciplined.  If you want fame you have to do something important with your life that's of actual value not you tube.  If you want friends you make the effort to invite them to every day things and take a genuine interest in who they are not just someone you know at church or in the school hallway that you call 'friend' on facebook.

This 'new world' is an illusion.  I don't want to be a part of a world that I have to feel sorry for all the time.  I miss the one where people had stuff happen to them, looked it in the eye and kept going.  I miss the drive you get in school when everyone is working hard to have the highest grades and have something they can be proud of that they did for themselves.  I don't like this one where people always think they are owed for being born or anything that doesn't go their way should be avenged.  Makes me sad.