In the past month I have had many great experiences and many hard experiences and seen growth from both types of events. It's like a new door has opened that I hadn't noticed before and now I am able to explore it. I am being pushed in ways that I have always managed to escape before but now stand fast to accept.
I think it's a natural thing to try and avoid things we don't think we should have to endure. It's a natural thing to avoid things we fear as well. I am learning to endure both. If I avoid such things I only prolong their eventual return. So rather than walk around the stumbling blocks or ignore them I am learning to better examine them and do my best to address them. Not everyone always gets along. But it's important to apologize and it's important to forgive. If one sentence, one thought gets held over my head my entire life, it's hard to then look at all the other things I've said and done. It distresses me greatly that some people I have encountered throughout my entire life will simply never know me. That there is good in me. That's always bothered me a great deal but I am learning to manage that. I am not here to impress man. I am here to please God. Forgive others. Learn.
He knows me, my heart, my thoughts and my intentions. He accepts my apologies and forgives me. He knows that I, like all other mankind, am flawed and I strive to do what is right. For that I am eternally grateful. He's blessed me with earthly parents that are welcoming and accepting to any and all in whatever circumstance. They are forgiving and loving and kind with great senses of humor the pair of them. For that too, I am grateful. He's blessed me with three beautiful children to test my limits and abilities. To increase my patience and also learn from. All three of them are unique, bright, sensitive and hard working children and for them I owe everything.
I have been thrust into situations that feel so far out of my comfort zone I've lost my North altogether. Yet instead of feeling completely lost, I see the knowledge and experience that can be gained and the importance that it will have on my life and on the lives of those around me. My fear, is failing me. I never thought I'd be able to say that. My faith is growing as is my confidence.
I started going back to school about a month ago. In these classes once a week we become the teachers. Speaking in public terrifies me. I have spoken up and participated when I'd rather shy away. I've worked with many others learning from their thoughts, ideas and knowledge which has stretched my own. This week, I have to teach. I want to be terrified, I should be. But somehow, I feel comforted. Confident. Hopeful. Even excited.
He is pushing my limits to succeed in personal goals that have long since sat on the shelf. For that, I am grateful.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
The Anniversary and Family Reunion
We felt so blessed and honored to be a part of Nathan's Mom and Dad's special 50th Wedding Anniversary. Very amazing to me. I personally have never had a great relationship until my husband and even at our worst it's still pretty great. It's always felt unattainable to me to have this kind of relationship this long so you can imagine the sheer admiration I have for his parents. Very special and sacred to me. As are they.
We arrived on campus at Weber State for their party. I was both excited and sick to my stomach. I can't speak for everyone else in the family but I'm sure curiosity was on their lists. It was a beautiful setting. Very elegant decorations around the room. My favorite part of that setting? The smiling faces in the crowd all lit up. So many of these people had not seen each other since they had lived in South Africa. The energy in the room was bright and happy. Filled with an abundance of stories and cherished memories. I enjoyed it immensely. But nothing, to me, could compare to the joy that filled my husband as he swapped memories with old friends and you could see him relive a big part of his life. It was.....humbling. It showed how much he misses his home in South Africa. It made me so happy to see his happiness. I was thrilled to meet each and every one of his friends and family that day and watch our children interact with all of this as well. Our youngest took quite a shine to her sweet uncle who if he grew tired of her chattering on so never showed it. We left the party that day with happy hearts and memories. It was magical.
In anticipation of having to wake up early the next day and travel, we opted for a small dinner, little television and a lot of sleep. Packing was easy as we packed light to begin with. The excitement building to see family we hadn't seen in over eight years and meet new family grew. But it was easy to sleep that night.
The next day, Brittany and Dyllan especially, were all bright eyed and bushy tailed. We packed up the van, checked out of the hotel, ate a fairly light breakfast and hit the road. The travel from northern Idaho to Great Falls Montana is tremendously beautiful. Many times Nathan and I would remark this is a good place to retire someday. We could hide quite happily here in the foothills and mountains. Just a relaxing, gorgeous scenery.
When we finally hit the Canadian border, sooner than we thought, I had this weird feeling that something was wrong and of course not knowing if it was big or small I, being me, had a tiny panic attack to myself as to not spoil the atmosphere of the car. After about twenty or so are we there yets in the last hour alone ( thank-you Catie ) our border patrol noticed that Nathan had not signed his passport. First thing that pops into my head, "And there it is!." She was merciful and allowed us through. First thing that pops out of Brittany's mouth, "We got away with it he he." Onward to Magrath and not quite finished with the are we there yets and now of course we've added bouncing up and down ( me not Catie ) we arrived safe and sound at my parent's home. Greeted with open arms, a teary Mother, and a nephew we met for the first time. Wonderful way to begin. We introduced miss Catie to their french bull dog slooowwwly. We weren't sure how she would react ( the dog not Catie). She was a rescued kennel dog. Although Catie was happy and nervous herself but mostly just happy to be around cousins and a dog.
In the backyard Dad in his genius imagination and creativity had built a tree fort consisting of a single man tent that he could sleep in and also a zip line that went across the backyard. Fun anticipated. He also managed another larger tent near the fence, I for one was hoping all the kids would fit but alas, they didn't. Good to be home. See those Rocky Mountains, smell that air, look at all that beautiful flowing wheat ( allergies anticipated ), and yum raspberry bushes bordering the garden. Finally! We can relax!
Was hot but dry, not like St Louis with her sticky heat. Quite enjoyable. We spent a lot of time getting to know our niece and nephew as well as watching all the cousins interact with each other. I was also curious what Grandpa would think of Catie, she can be such a ham. Before we knew it, it was time for the Remington Family Reunion.
Was so great to see family I hadn't seen in a long time and how their families have grown. There were so many people to meet we didn't stand a chance meeting them all but I was going to try. The first day was simple. We had to opportunity to visit the Remington Carriage Center in Cardston, Alberta. There was soooooo much to see! First off was our carriage ride around the property.
A family dinner and program filled with musical talents and reminiscing. It needs to be said that the roast beef served that night was the best we've ever had anywhere! The next day was a big family breakfast followed by tubing down the river for the teens and a kids carnival where they would play games and earn pennies to spend at the country store for toys and candy.
The kids said the water was cold. What do you expect when you're in the foothills of giant, majestic mountains and tube in a runoff river? My parents most of this time were working hard to fix lunch for the whooollllle family. That's a lot of food for a lot of people! They did an amazing job, food was great. Since this was at a school the kids had a playground at their disposal the entire time and that's good because following lunch was a family auction. We bid a few times but we lost all of our bids.(happy to help drive up the price Sandy) After the auction there was a time of story telling from older family members about our ancestors. So precious. I feel so honored to be a member of this family heritage.
We arrived on campus at Weber State for their party. I was both excited and sick to my stomach. I can't speak for everyone else in the family but I'm sure curiosity was on their lists. It was a beautiful setting. Very elegant decorations around the room. My favorite part of that setting? The smiling faces in the crowd all lit up. So many of these people had not seen each other since they had lived in South Africa. The energy in the room was bright and happy. Filled with an abundance of stories and cherished memories. I enjoyed it immensely. But nothing, to me, could compare to the joy that filled my husband as he swapped memories with old friends and you could see him relive a big part of his life. It was.....humbling. It showed how much he misses his home in South Africa. It made me so happy to see his happiness. I was thrilled to meet each and every one of his friends and family that day and watch our children interact with all of this as well. Our youngest took quite a shine to her sweet uncle who if he grew tired of her chattering on so never showed it. We left the party that day with happy hearts and memories. It was magical.
In anticipation of having to wake up early the next day and travel, we opted for a small dinner, little television and a lot of sleep. Packing was easy as we packed light to begin with. The excitement building to see family we hadn't seen in over eight years and meet new family grew. But it was easy to sleep that night.
The next day, Brittany and Dyllan especially, were all bright eyed and bushy tailed. We packed up the van, checked out of the hotel, ate a fairly light breakfast and hit the road. The travel from northern Idaho to Great Falls Montana is tremendously beautiful. Many times Nathan and I would remark this is a good place to retire someday. We could hide quite happily here in the foothills and mountains. Just a relaxing, gorgeous scenery.
When we finally hit the Canadian border, sooner than we thought, I had this weird feeling that something was wrong and of course not knowing if it was big or small I, being me, had a tiny panic attack to myself as to not spoil the atmosphere of the car. After about twenty or so are we there yets in the last hour alone ( thank-you Catie ) our border patrol noticed that Nathan had not signed his passport. First thing that pops into my head, "And there it is!." She was merciful and allowed us through. First thing that pops out of Brittany's mouth, "We got away with it he he." Onward to Magrath and not quite finished with the are we there yets and now of course we've added bouncing up and down ( me not Catie ) we arrived safe and sound at my parent's home. Greeted with open arms, a teary Mother, and a nephew we met for the first time. Wonderful way to begin. We introduced miss Catie to their french bull dog slooowwwly. We weren't sure how she would react ( the dog not Catie). She was a rescued kennel dog. Although Catie was happy and nervous herself but mostly just happy to be around cousins and a dog.
In the backyard Dad in his genius imagination and creativity had built a tree fort consisting of a single man tent that he could sleep in and also a zip line that went across the backyard. Fun anticipated. He also managed another larger tent near the fence, I for one was hoping all the kids would fit but alas, they didn't. Good to be home. See those Rocky Mountains, smell that air, look at all that beautiful flowing wheat ( allergies anticipated ), and yum raspberry bushes bordering the garden. Finally! We can relax!
Was hot but dry, not like St Louis with her sticky heat. Quite enjoyable. We spent a lot of time getting to know our niece and nephew as well as watching all the cousins interact with each other. I was also curious what Grandpa would think of Catie, she can be such a ham. Before we knew it, it was time for the Remington Family Reunion.
Was so great to see family I hadn't seen in a long time and how their families have grown. There were so many people to meet we didn't stand a chance meeting them all but I was going to try. The first day was simple. We had to opportunity to visit the Remington Carriage Center in Cardston, Alberta. There was soooooo much to see! First off was our carriage ride around the property.
A family dinner and program filled with musical talents and reminiscing. It needs to be said that the roast beef served that night was the best we've ever had anywhere! The next day was a big family breakfast followed by tubing down the river for the teens and a kids carnival where they would play games and earn pennies to spend at the country store for toys and candy.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Onwards exploring Salt Lake City and Provo
It was so brilliantly wonderful and magnificent to sleep in ( to us anyways ) and be able to attend the Salt Lake City Pioneer Day Parade! The city was just bustling with a fun energy. We expected the traffic to the square and were delighted to find parking so easily. It was a very warm day already by 9am so we tried to find a shady spot to enjoy the parade. It was very hard to find but we managed to watch the beginning of the parade for about a half hour or more in the sunshine before our sweet five year old begged for shade again. Thankfully we were obviously near lots of tall buildings that were still casting their shadows so all we really had to do was move back a ways.
I loved the creativity and colors of all of the floats that attended. You could feel the excitement of the marching bands getting ready to perform and also performing.
I loved the creativity and colors of all of the floats that attended. You could feel the excitement of the marching bands getting ready to perform and also performing.
After about an hour or more our five year old, Catie, decided she was thirsty, and hungry and bored so we worked our way across the street back near the beginning of the parade seeing if that would at least help the boredom. Very clever parade to keep the horses and wagons on the opposite side some of them spooked really easily my favorite was a dancing horse that started dancing as soon as one of the marching bands began to play.
It was shortly after this that a horse drawn wagon with two occupants drove their way up to where we were standing and our youngest in her excitement was waving at the horses and horse riders going by. The man driving the team noticed our eldest daughter's shirt that said St Louis on it and asked if that's where we were from and mentioned that his nephew was just about to leave the MTC to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the St Louis area. Small world.
Again our miss Catie reminded us she was hot, hungry, thirsty, and bored so we made our way across the street for some soft serve to cool down and some steps to rest on in the shade and although we had now migrated to where most floats and bands were waiting to make it to the starting line it allowed us to visit with some and take pictures. One of our favorite floats was for family history where each corner of the float had a computer with a large computer screen showing individuals doing family history work online. Then out would pop an ancestor to shake their hand from the screen it was adorable!
After we had finished our soft serves we made our way over to see the Salt Lake City Temple.
The visitor's center, the tabernacle, basically temple square in Salt Lake City. Since it was Pioneer Day it was considerably busy. At the end of touring and on our way to Provo to let the teenagers check out BYU campus where Dad once attended, we bumped into two very interesting individuals. A sister missionary from Cardston, Alberta ( where we were headed after our SLC visit) who was speaking to an elderly gentleman who served a mission in Pretoria, South Africa ( where my husband grew up). What a small and amazing world we live in.
We finally managed to make our way to Provo and almost didn't recognize the drive there from Salt Lake! Everything had grown so much and looked so different it was extraordinary to see how much everything had changed. Even the BYU campus was hard to navigate at first as it in itself has changed alot over the years but we managed. Dad had the opportunity to show his children places he had lived, experiences with roomates, where some of his classes were and stories of his teachers. It was a great experience for our family.
We then headed to another significant event for our family. We went to a pot luck dinner in the park in Provo with returned missionaries who had served in our ward back home and were now home or attending BYU. It had been the first time for some of them who had all served in the area together to see each other and our first time seeing all of them since they had fulfilled their missions and returned home to continue on with their exciting lives. It was a rare and happy time for all of us. I miss them already.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Still Recovering and Forcing Forward Motion
Fourteen hours. That's how long our first day of driving towards Utah was, we landed in Denver. At least ten of those hours were spent driving, visiting, enjoying each other's company. We were all so thrilled and excited to get to spend time together, just us. Didn't really matter how as long as we could. The anticipation of all the things to come on our vacation created a wonderful ere of excitement. Timing five people for bathroom breaks, the youngest being five, is an impossible task. There were times we'd stop and fifteen minutes later after beginning our drive again we'd hear, "I have to go to the bathroom." A roll of the eyes, a giggle, sometimes even a what do we do now we're in Kansas and there's not a rest stop or town for another 30 miles. But we did okay. We made it tired and happy to be safe.
We reached our hotel that evening without much trouble finding it. The swarm of police surrounding it helped. Swat van, detectives, and police cruisers were everywhere. Made us uneasy but since we made a reservation here we entered the parking lot and hubby went inside to investigate what was going on. While he was safe inside his family was sitting in the van wide eyed at all the happenings. At one point I had put my window down to hear if any of the people in front of us and by that I mean the people who were gathering on the lawn in front of the hotel, byob and let's see who's getting arrested, knew what was going on. I noticed a gathering of police and detectives around two individuals and watched one of them push the officers away from him as they crowded around him and shoved him up against the light pole in front of us, cue the window going up and doors locking. When hubby returned I believe his comments were at least they have a good response time and we should be safe here look at all security. That night was tiring, interesting, a little nerve wracking but to be honest we were too wiped out to care and slept well that night despite any drunk patrons wandering down the hall searching for their room that was on the next floor.
In the morning we felt renewed and rested, smiles on our faces headed to breakfast where our hotel morning manager was very friendly and talkative. He informed us of a haunted hotel and some other haunted establishments in the Denver area if we were into that sort of thing. Of course this topic took shape when we mentioned that his cheerio dispenser was turning itself and dropping cereal everywhere. We were thrilled to see the rockies again it had been so long for us! The kids were taking many pictures and commenting on how beautiful it was and how much they missed it. Our youngest seeing their enjoyment became elated herself with the view and also was very good for us on the drive ahead listening to everyone's "I can't wait to do" lists. We're very proud of her for traveling so well for us. Not as many are we there yet's as one would expect.
Sunny, gorgeous, not muggy, no humidity. Salt Lake City. Such a beautiful valley. Although we were wondering when they started driving like they were NASCAR racers? It's a freeway not a racetrack and it tickled us to see the big signs overhead saying no fatalities on the interstate in 7 days. Hoping they would make it at least 10 since that's how long we were staying there.
To be continued...
We reached our hotel that evening without much trouble finding it. The swarm of police surrounding it helped. Swat van, detectives, and police cruisers were everywhere. Made us uneasy but since we made a reservation here we entered the parking lot and hubby went inside to investigate what was going on. While he was safe inside his family was sitting in the van wide eyed at all the happenings. At one point I had put my window down to hear if any of the people in front of us and by that I mean the people who were gathering on the lawn in front of the hotel, byob and let's see who's getting arrested, knew what was going on. I noticed a gathering of police and detectives around two individuals and watched one of them push the officers away from him as they crowded around him and shoved him up against the light pole in front of us, cue the window going up and doors locking. When hubby returned I believe his comments were at least they have a good response time and we should be safe here look at all security. That night was tiring, interesting, a little nerve wracking but to be honest we were too wiped out to care and slept well that night despite any drunk patrons wandering down the hall searching for their room that was on the next floor.
In the morning we felt renewed and rested, smiles on our faces headed to breakfast where our hotel morning manager was very friendly and talkative. He informed us of a haunted hotel and some other haunted establishments in the Denver area if we were into that sort of thing. Of course this topic took shape when we mentioned that his cheerio dispenser was turning itself and dropping cereal everywhere. We were thrilled to see the rockies again it had been so long for us! The kids were taking many pictures and commenting on how beautiful it was and how much they missed it. Our youngest seeing their enjoyment became elated herself with the view and also was very good for us on the drive ahead listening to everyone's "I can't wait to do" lists. We're very proud of her for traveling so well for us. Not as many are we there yet's as one would expect.
Sunny, gorgeous, not muggy, no humidity. Salt Lake City. Such a beautiful valley. Although we were wondering when they started driving like they were NASCAR racers? It's a freeway not a racetrack and it tickled us to see the big signs overhead saying no fatalities on the interstate in 7 days. Hoping they would make it at least 10 since that's how long we were staying there.
To be continued...
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Offering Support
Treat others how you want to be treated. Most of us have parents that have exhausted that phrase and we ourselves with children probably use it often as well. Sometimes though, the person you are 'treating' isn't like you at all or has little in common with you and might not see life as you do. Although this is a very valid and understandable phrase, especially with children I think it gets much more complicated as an adult. Observance is a necessary start, taking inventory of the situation your friend may be in first and hearing their opinion and game plan is much more beneficial. Through my own personal experience I find that the phrase what do you need me to do for you is much better.
We all hit brick walls of life's challenges constantly and some brick walls we only need our sledge hammer, some strength and some faith. But some challenges need a bridge or a tunnel much too difficult to do on our own. Do we ask for help when we are stuck or do we shy away in the shadows of embarrassment or pure stubborn nature, avoiding a faster and more meaningful result? I myself have been annoyed on several occasions with the how are you question that usually requires no response on my part whatsoever as it has now become socially acceptable to simply ask and expect an I'm fine answer in return so that you can carry on about your day telling yourself I'm a good person for asking. My problem is in the insincerity of it all. When is the last time you were genuinely listening to the best of your attention span and ability to the answer? When was the last time you answered truthfully with more than "I'm fine"?
Tricky sometimes isn't it. It's so wonderful when those few and far between moments of grand miracles arrive in life. Someone paying you back or giving you a bonus just when you need the extra buck. Someone brings over an abundance of garden treasures because they cannot possibly finish it on their own when you are struggling to provide food for your family. That last minute phone call to save you from the unemployment line when you knew layoffs were coming and your application has been accepted at another job. So marvelous when that happens. But let's face it, most of the time, it doesn't. Everyone is in such a different place in life and I myself have lent money or emotional support the best I could for as long as I could and been burned for the effort.
I can't support others if I'm not in a good place myself to begin with, it would only make things worse for those I'm trying to help and I can't sit idly by either when I see others struggle. I do what I can when I can and that's enough. As long as I am genuine about it, as long as I am putting forth a solid effort to do what needs to be done I'm happy with that. I'm not perfect. I can't always do everything for everyone all at once it overwhelms me but I definitely do have a desire to. All we can do is our best.
As of late I have been determined to pay more attention to those around me when they speak to me and really take a genuine interest in what they're saying, even if I disagree. Usually I feel pulled in more than one conversation at a time and have always had at least one individual be cross with me because I didn't hear the whole story or come back to them if we were interrupted. Distractions are everywhere and I'm working on that. If I want someone to take an interest in me, my thoughts, my experiences and knowledge in life then I have to start that way with them. They might say something that they truly need help with or comfort for or even just an ear to vent it out loud helps. I'll try not to criticize and hopefully they will return the favor. It means a lot to us all to be heard. Even if others don't agree with everything we think and say it's so important to support and uplift each other. Find common ground. Love and listen with real intent. Put meaning back into the conversation.
We all hit brick walls of life's challenges constantly and some brick walls we only need our sledge hammer, some strength and some faith. But some challenges need a bridge or a tunnel much too difficult to do on our own. Do we ask for help when we are stuck or do we shy away in the shadows of embarrassment or pure stubborn nature, avoiding a faster and more meaningful result? I myself have been annoyed on several occasions with the how are you question that usually requires no response on my part whatsoever as it has now become socially acceptable to simply ask and expect an I'm fine answer in return so that you can carry on about your day telling yourself I'm a good person for asking. My problem is in the insincerity of it all. When is the last time you were genuinely listening to the best of your attention span and ability to the answer? When was the last time you answered truthfully with more than "I'm fine"?
Tricky sometimes isn't it. It's so wonderful when those few and far between moments of grand miracles arrive in life. Someone paying you back or giving you a bonus just when you need the extra buck. Someone brings over an abundance of garden treasures because they cannot possibly finish it on their own when you are struggling to provide food for your family. That last minute phone call to save you from the unemployment line when you knew layoffs were coming and your application has been accepted at another job. So marvelous when that happens. But let's face it, most of the time, it doesn't. Everyone is in such a different place in life and I myself have lent money or emotional support the best I could for as long as I could and been burned for the effort.
I can't support others if I'm not in a good place myself to begin with, it would only make things worse for those I'm trying to help and I can't sit idly by either when I see others struggle. I do what I can when I can and that's enough. As long as I am genuine about it, as long as I am putting forth a solid effort to do what needs to be done I'm happy with that. I'm not perfect. I can't always do everything for everyone all at once it overwhelms me but I definitely do have a desire to. All we can do is our best.
As of late I have been determined to pay more attention to those around me when they speak to me and really take a genuine interest in what they're saying, even if I disagree. Usually I feel pulled in more than one conversation at a time and have always had at least one individual be cross with me because I didn't hear the whole story or come back to them if we were interrupted. Distractions are everywhere and I'm working on that. If I want someone to take an interest in me, my thoughts, my experiences and knowledge in life then I have to start that way with them. They might say something that they truly need help with or comfort for or even just an ear to vent it out loud helps. I'll try not to criticize and hopefully they will return the favor. It means a lot to us all to be heard. Even if others don't agree with everything we think and say it's so important to support and uplift each other. Find common ground. Love and listen with real intent. Put meaning back into the conversation.
Friday, June 26, 2015
Kindergartener
Since my youngest and I have ventured into homeschooling Kindergarten this summer she has made soooooo much progress. Our opening exercises consist of a an opening prayer, reciting the pledge of allegiance, what the weather is like today, and the days of the week. In the beginning just the opening exercises felt a bit overwhelming to her but I knew she could do it!
We have 5 subjects a day and three of them are what I guess I consider daily staples. Reading, Writing, and Math. We also on different days do Art, Geography, Science, and Spelling. I always believed the expression children are sponges when it comes to absorbing knowledge but wow! We began at the beginning of June and now she can read because she learned that sounding out the letters helps her figure out what the word says and is becoming very proficient in a hurry. She can say the Pledge of Allegiance on her own. She reads maps and understands how to use a compass. She's learned about plants her five senses, the difference between reptiles and mammals in more detail than I thought a five year old can handle and currently grasping the concept of the difference between the human world and the natural world. He math is acceptional she wants no help with addiction, needs limited help for subtraction and is already getting bored with single digits. In a month!
I have to admit deciding to home school was the hardest decision I've ever made realizing the time commitment to prepare plans and the patience when she definitely acts like she's five. Temper tantrums wear off eventually but it's like aftershocks of 3 years right? Hahaha I as a Mom and just plain human being usually feel inadequate about, well, everything and so her be so successful gives me hope that I might be worth something to somebody. So please with her progress and willingness to learn, she's eager for it. We have so much fun together most days and adding her swimming lessons, playdates, playgroup and gymnastics she keeps me busy!
We have 5 subjects a day and three of them are what I guess I consider daily staples. Reading, Writing, and Math. We also on different days do Art, Geography, Science, and Spelling. I always believed the expression children are sponges when it comes to absorbing knowledge but wow! We began at the beginning of June and now she can read because she learned that sounding out the letters helps her figure out what the word says and is becoming very proficient in a hurry. She can say the Pledge of Allegiance on her own. She reads maps and understands how to use a compass. She's learned about plants her five senses, the difference between reptiles and mammals in more detail than I thought a five year old can handle and currently grasping the concept of the difference between the human world and the natural world. He math is acceptional she wants no help with addiction, needs limited help for subtraction and is already getting bored with single digits. In a month!
I have to admit deciding to home school was the hardest decision I've ever made realizing the time commitment to prepare plans and the patience when she definitely acts like she's five. Temper tantrums wear off eventually but it's like aftershocks of 3 years right? Hahaha I as a Mom and just plain human being usually feel inadequate about, well, everything and so her be so successful gives me hope that I might be worth something to somebody. So please with her progress and willingness to learn, she's eager for it. We have so much fun together most days and adding her swimming lessons, playdates, playgroup and gymnastics she keeps me busy!
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Middle of Summer and Just Getting Started
So far so good this month! Catie is excelling in Kindergarten at home, some days we struggle and butt heads but that sounds familiar ( Brittany) we find a way and continue on our quest for knowledge and playful learning. Catie just started her swimming lessons so far she's a very good listener and the class is only 35 minutes long. They have two teachers and about 9 kids in their class. The first day of swim class will be memorable. The teachers were performing the alligator swimming poem to encourage the kids to jump to them in the water one child at a time as the water is higher than them. As the saying goes boys will be boys and we had a scary incident with the whole two boys in the class. The teachers were helping two of their little swimmers to the ladder to climb out of the pool and one of the boys was too anxious and jumped in on his own and struggled to gasp for air. Of course like I said the teachers already had children they were helping swim to the side in their arms so his timing couldn't have been worse. He went under a lot but came out alright in the end. A beautiful example of what not to do in swim class, which of course was lost on the second boy as we he too shortly after was overanxious as well and jumped in when their backs were turned helping others a second time. I'm just glad that Catie has the right idea of wait for my teachers to catch me then jump in the water. Phew!
Catie is also steadily participating in her gymnastics class over the summer. She absolutely loves her new teacher over at Olympiad Gymnastics! She has a good sized class of 7 children and is always excited to listen and participate in the new things she's learning there. It's great to see her so happy. Lately St Louis has been plagued with storms and rain the past week with another week to go so all of our family waterpark outings have been put on hold until we see a nice big break in the weather. Need sunshine to warm up the water now don't we. But that's ok because all of the kids are involved in a lot this summer. Still have volleyball camp and Young Women's Camp coming up excited to see my teenagers explore and have fun!
This past week Brittany and Dyllan had the opportunity to attend Youth Conference with the St Louis North Stake. They started with registration, receiving matching t-shirts, 'family' and bus assignments and a dance. Although our son Dyllan isn't always fond of dancing in public he has discovered that since he's outnumbered 4 girls to 1 boy that he has quite the advantage when asking girls to dance lol.
Brittany had asked a friend to join them on this free event paid for by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that at first had resistant parents who she wore down ( the friend not Britt) and convinced them to let her go leaving my living room with three teenage girls over night. My son was just so thankful he got to keep his bed, we usually offer it to company when company comes to town. Luckily for me one of the teenager girls had parents that were 'parents' aka chaperones during this Conference that volunteered to pick up the four teens at 4:30am to meet the buses to Kansas City by 5. Still got up with them to ask them if they had everything and to eat breakfast but then I got to go back to bed ahhhhhhh.
They toured many sites in Kansas City had a dinner and dance outside that night in the parking lot of the LDS Independence Visitor's Center. They said they loved touring this site and enjoyed the dance and dinner I believe Jimmy John's served dinner very good for teens. They stayed overnight at the Hilton by the KC airport which according to one kid was posh and the other not as posh lol. The next morning they served in a worn down part of the city they now lovingly refer to as 'The Neighborhood'. It was very filthy and run down and just under 200 LDS youth put on their work gloves, grabbed a trash bag and started cleaning it. What impresses me the most is that regardless of how gross and stinky it was they carried on smiling, goofing off with friends, and in a generally upbeat mood thankful for the opportunity to help restore hope to this community. In fact there was one older gentleman who said just that to our son, "Thank-you for what you're doing for all of us today. You bring us hope." What a wonderful opportunity to serve and to be more thankful for what you have in your own lives.
They then traveled to Far West and Adam-Ondi-Ahman. At Adam-Ondi-Ahman they along with their 'families' ( their groups of kids and chaperones) had family home evening. They learned about what Adam-Ondi-Ahman was and enjoyed visiting in their smaller groups. I am sure that this was a great spiritual moment for most, but what really impressed me was that this entire group was covered in butterflies that showed up flying around them but landed comfortably on all of them without hesitation. How peaceful. How special. How still. Of course after that was dinner aka pizza aka number one hit with teens. They climbed on the buses and got home late but happy with lots of good and fun experiences to remember and cherish.
I am thankful that my children include me as much as they do as teenagers and want me to be a part of their everyday lives. It's such a rewarding feeling to see them learn and discover that they are an important part of this world and that they will have no trouble finding their place in it. How important it is to be a productive part of society and your community and school. Our children are just the world to us, challenge us and uplift us every day. Looking forward to the rest of our summer and the experiences we have yet to have.
Catie is also steadily participating in her gymnastics class over the summer. She absolutely loves her new teacher over at Olympiad Gymnastics! She has a good sized class of 7 children and is always excited to listen and participate in the new things she's learning there. It's great to see her so happy. Lately St Louis has been plagued with storms and rain the past week with another week to go so all of our family waterpark outings have been put on hold until we see a nice big break in the weather. Need sunshine to warm up the water now don't we. But that's ok because all of the kids are involved in a lot this summer. Still have volleyball camp and Young Women's Camp coming up excited to see my teenagers explore and have fun!
This past week Brittany and Dyllan had the opportunity to attend Youth Conference with the St Louis North Stake. They started with registration, receiving matching t-shirts, 'family' and bus assignments and a dance. Although our son Dyllan isn't always fond of dancing in public he has discovered that since he's outnumbered 4 girls to 1 boy that he has quite the advantage when asking girls to dance lol.
Brittany had asked a friend to join them on this free event paid for by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that at first had resistant parents who she wore down ( the friend not Britt) and convinced them to let her go leaving my living room with three teenage girls over night. My son was just so thankful he got to keep his bed, we usually offer it to company when company comes to town. Luckily for me one of the teenager girls had parents that were 'parents' aka chaperones during this Conference that volunteered to pick up the four teens at 4:30am to meet the buses to Kansas City by 5. Still got up with them to ask them if they had everything and to eat breakfast but then I got to go back to bed ahhhhhhh.
They toured many sites in Kansas City had a dinner and dance outside that night in the parking lot of the LDS Independence Visitor's Center. They said they loved touring this site and enjoyed the dance and dinner I believe Jimmy John's served dinner very good for teens. They stayed overnight at the Hilton by the KC airport which according to one kid was posh and the other not as posh lol. The next morning they served in a worn down part of the city they now lovingly refer to as 'The Neighborhood'. It was very filthy and run down and just under 200 LDS youth put on their work gloves, grabbed a trash bag and started cleaning it. What impresses me the most is that regardless of how gross and stinky it was they carried on smiling, goofing off with friends, and in a generally upbeat mood thankful for the opportunity to help restore hope to this community. In fact there was one older gentleman who said just that to our son, "Thank-you for what you're doing for all of us today. You bring us hope." What a wonderful opportunity to serve and to be more thankful for what you have in your own lives.
They then traveled to Far West and Adam-Ondi-Ahman. At Adam-Ondi-Ahman they along with their 'families' ( their groups of kids and chaperones) had family home evening. They learned about what Adam-Ondi-Ahman was and enjoyed visiting in their smaller groups. I am sure that this was a great spiritual moment for most, but what really impressed me was that this entire group was covered in butterflies that showed up flying around them but landed comfortably on all of them without hesitation. How peaceful. How special. How still. Of course after that was dinner aka pizza aka number one hit with teens. They climbed on the buses and got home late but happy with lots of good and fun experiences to remember and cherish.
I am thankful that my children include me as much as they do as teenagers and want me to be a part of their everyday lives. It's such a rewarding feeling to see them learn and discover that they are an important part of this world and that they will have no trouble finding their place in it. How important it is to be a productive part of society and your community and school. Our children are just the world to us, challenge us and uplift us every day. Looking forward to the rest of our summer and the experiences we have yet to have.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
What a Day I'm Having!!
If I would have known what kind of day was coming I think I would have begged for the miracle of time travel to a time where I could get that confidence boost from previous triumph or good day to help carry me through this one. I feel like Alexander and have joined him in a terrible horrible no good very bad day.
I woke up way too early this morning for a summer vacation ( 5:30) and finally rolled out of bed around 6. Aunt Rose is visiting and she brings with her the tightening and cramping of what feels to be all my innards in a boxing match. Have to take my hypothyroid med before I can take any pain killers. So annoyed. I do my hair, brush my teeth, get dressed, and discover when I walk into the front room that the fallen paint water cup stain, an event that was wonderful in and of itself ( she says sarcastically) fell all over my white carpet and to my chagrin is still prominently black, well maybe a dark grey. Resolve has failed me.
I have a family member this morning that woke up with a full emotional plate and seemed a bit down. I hugged and asked if there was anything I can do with a no response. ( frustrating) I smile and listen as they speak somewhat about what's bothering them and then ask again if there's anything I can do to help. This time the answer is, "No I'm fine." ( stare here )
I go to do some banking and due to a viral event last week with our computer have changed all of our passwords. Makes banking interesting. I wrote everything down so I wouldn't mess anything up or forget to discover that apparently some of the financial institutions I work with don't like my new passwords and I have been locked out of at least 3 of them this morning. That's awesome.
Have already dropped off and picked up our oldest daughter from basketball practice. She pushed herself too hard and became extremely dizzy and nauseated. Having our background with seizures I of course try not to panic and pray that there will be no event before or after picking her up as she and our son are headed to a youth dance tonight and then out of town on a youth trip. My calm attitude about this event is now riddled with worry which hopefully subsides when I realize that she'll be with lots of adult leaders and friends, they both will, and if anything happens I'm not that far away. Haven't quite realized it yet even though she seems fine and says she's fine.
I have yet to start our day of kindergarten because I'm struggling to keep the older kids motivated enough to prepare for their departure this weekend as well as inform our little one of all the reasons that she can't go with them. Fun fun. I would have looked at it as good the older kids are gone Mom and Dad are mine! But she feels a bit left out. When she starts getting all the attention this weekend and then her brother and sister return I assure you they will become an inconvenience for her.
I still have plenty of driving kids to and fro this afternoon and evening as well as tomorrow early morning ( I'll be up at 4am) and we will still be having Kindergarten today even though my kindergartner will be pouting the entire time 'cause she can't go. Hmph! At this point having finally had the chance to eat breakfast ( only took me 5 hours ) and taken my diabetic medication I can now soothe Aunt Rose's vice grip on my uterus long enough to make it to and fro with my kids. Ahh life is great isn't it?
I woke up way too early this morning for a summer vacation ( 5:30) and finally rolled out of bed around 6. Aunt Rose is visiting and she brings with her the tightening and cramping of what feels to be all my innards in a boxing match. Have to take my hypothyroid med before I can take any pain killers. So annoyed. I do my hair, brush my teeth, get dressed, and discover when I walk into the front room that the fallen paint water cup stain, an event that was wonderful in and of itself ( she says sarcastically) fell all over my white carpet and to my chagrin is still prominently black, well maybe a dark grey. Resolve has failed me.
I have a family member this morning that woke up with a full emotional plate and seemed a bit down. I hugged and asked if there was anything I can do with a no response. ( frustrating) I smile and listen as they speak somewhat about what's bothering them and then ask again if there's anything I can do to help. This time the answer is, "No I'm fine." ( stare here )
I go to do some banking and due to a viral event last week with our computer have changed all of our passwords. Makes banking interesting. I wrote everything down so I wouldn't mess anything up or forget to discover that apparently some of the financial institutions I work with don't like my new passwords and I have been locked out of at least 3 of them this morning. That's awesome.
Have already dropped off and picked up our oldest daughter from basketball practice. She pushed herself too hard and became extremely dizzy and nauseated. Having our background with seizures I of course try not to panic and pray that there will be no event before or after picking her up as she and our son are headed to a youth dance tonight and then out of town on a youth trip. My calm attitude about this event is now riddled with worry which hopefully subsides when I realize that she'll be with lots of adult leaders and friends, they both will, and if anything happens I'm not that far away. Haven't quite realized it yet even though she seems fine and says she's fine.
I have yet to start our day of kindergarten because I'm struggling to keep the older kids motivated enough to prepare for their departure this weekend as well as inform our little one of all the reasons that she can't go with them. Fun fun. I would have looked at it as good the older kids are gone Mom and Dad are mine! But she feels a bit left out. When she starts getting all the attention this weekend and then her brother and sister return I assure you they will become an inconvenience for her.
I still have plenty of driving kids to and fro this afternoon and evening as well as tomorrow early morning ( I'll be up at 4am) and we will still be having Kindergarten today even though my kindergartner will be pouting the entire time 'cause she can't go. Hmph! At this point having finally had the chance to eat breakfast ( only took me 5 hours ) and taken my diabetic medication I can now soothe Aunt Rose's vice grip on my uterus long enough to make it to and fro with my kids. Ahh life is great isn't it?
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
The Titleless Post
Throughout my entire life when things are murky but trudging along still at a steady pace I find contentment. At least for a while anyways. You don't really notice anything creeping up on you when you're in a blissful state. In my case it's a bunch of little things that add up quickly. Youth Conference, cubscout camp ( I'm a den leader), Young Women's Camp, Volleyball Camp, Summer Gymnastics, Basketball Camp, you get the idea. All the forms and registration and fees and coordination. I don't mind it really just always nervous I'm gonna miss that one thing that could ruin our summer. Like discovering that I need to renew my passport like now if I want to visit Alberta. Fun discovery. Good times. No need to panic.
I've tried so hard to be a friend, to be a good Mom, a supportive wife, to be helpful. Sometimes it can overwhelm me but I'd rather take on a lot and feel useful than nothing and feel bored. Lately I feel very uneasy around people. Like they're in on it , whatever IT is and I have no idea what's going on. We all feel that way at some point right? But service sure makes you feel better.
I worry a lot lately about my health too. Last night I got this... report I guess you would call it. Laid out my medical history over the past 2 years. All the medications I've had to take and when. When certain blood and urine tests were done. I had to bite my lower lip to keep from crying. I was always relatively healthy my whole life. I've always loved sports and try to stay active despite hardly ever losing a pound. This of course frustrates me especially since all society will see is some overweight woman wow she must just sit there and do nothing. Too many pieces of chocolate cake and fried chicken. If they only knew how often and far I walk every week or how I avoid carbs almost a little bit to the extreme just avoid gaining weight.
I love fruits and vegetables far more than junk food, fast food always makes me feel sick. In the summer when all these fruits and vegetables are in season I can't resist binging on them a little bit. Sometimes too much fiber lol but overall makes me feel lighter. The heat brings a desire to drink more water. My family will laugh at that because I drink water all day long as it is, they'll think I'm trying to drown myself if I add more. But we're supposed to do it because it's healthy and it makes you feel good. I'm looking forward to swimming since I love to swim but I'm sure the public will disagree when they see me in a bathing suit.
Every time I feel icky, which diabetics no matter how hard we work at it just will from time to time, I feel like all these people around me get to go out there and live their lives as healthy individuals and sometimes it hurts me. Not because I'm not happy for them, but because I can't keep up. The Spirit is willing but the body......tries so hard and I expect so much out of it because it's what I've always been used to.
I am so truly thankful for my family and friends that love and support me. Not only in words but in their actions of compassion and encouragement. That it's okay. I'm working still, and probably always will be, on being okay with it. That we have to roll with the punches and do the best we got with what we have.
I've tried so hard to be a friend, to be a good Mom, a supportive wife, to be helpful. Sometimes it can overwhelm me but I'd rather take on a lot and feel useful than nothing and feel bored. Lately I feel very uneasy around people. Like they're in on it , whatever IT is and I have no idea what's going on. We all feel that way at some point right? But service sure makes you feel better.
I worry a lot lately about my health too. Last night I got this... report I guess you would call it. Laid out my medical history over the past 2 years. All the medications I've had to take and when. When certain blood and urine tests were done. I had to bite my lower lip to keep from crying. I was always relatively healthy my whole life. I've always loved sports and try to stay active despite hardly ever losing a pound. This of course frustrates me especially since all society will see is some overweight woman wow she must just sit there and do nothing. Too many pieces of chocolate cake and fried chicken. If they only knew how often and far I walk every week or how I avoid carbs almost a little bit to the extreme just avoid gaining weight.
I love fruits and vegetables far more than junk food, fast food always makes me feel sick. In the summer when all these fruits and vegetables are in season I can't resist binging on them a little bit. Sometimes too much fiber lol but overall makes me feel lighter. The heat brings a desire to drink more water. My family will laugh at that because I drink water all day long as it is, they'll think I'm trying to drown myself if I add more. But we're supposed to do it because it's healthy and it makes you feel good. I'm looking forward to swimming since I love to swim but I'm sure the public will disagree when they see me in a bathing suit.
Every time I feel icky, which diabetics no matter how hard we work at it just will from time to time, I feel like all these people around me get to go out there and live their lives as healthy individuals and sometimes it hurts me. Not because I'm not happy for them, but because I can't keep up. The Spirit is willing but the body......tries so hard and I expect so much out of it because it's what I've always been used to.
I am so truly thankful for my family and friends that love and support me. Not only in words but in their actions of compassion and encouragement. That it's okay. I'm working still, and probably always will be, on being okay with it. That we have to roll with the punches and do the best we got with what we have.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Almost There!
It's almost the end of the school year. The end of 5am's, taxi service, sports activities this way and that, spreading myself too thin and being so busy I can't think straight. I am so looking forward to sleeping in ( 7am probably) and a less scheduled life including reading books from the library, swimming, camping, and vacation time. Ahhhh it's almost summer!
With two teenagers in high school and a daughter repeating an extra year of preschool ( she started a year early at 3 years old) it has been exceptionally busy this year. To top that off my husband, dr physicist laser boy (his official name in his mind), has been extraordinarily busy with marine systems and I became a cub scout leader in February. Not to mention all the teen dances including prom, all the awards nights end of school banquets and graduating from preschool. Albeit fun and adventurous it will be much deserved to play in the pool with my five year old and suntan with a book. I look forward to having time to do projects around the house, working on our yard ( when it's not 100% humidity), and taking the kids to the mall or a movie or whatever. Whatever we want.
I am truly thankful for this past year. Our family has accomplished a lot looking back and hope to have more time to accomplish more personal goals and spending more time together. I feel like I'm counting down the hours, not just the days, to the first day I get to sleep past 5 and have a day with nothing scheduled on the calendar. More ups than downs, and it's always awesome to watch your kids grow up and discover who they are and want they want to be in life. I know for our eldest daughter Brittany that has been a struggle this year. She established she wants to go to college but had a really hard time determining for what! It made her excited, scared, frustrated ( there were tears) but I think she has a handle on it now. So far..........hmmm.......I think she said nurse? At any rate I'm happy for her to be able to finish her senior year (2016) and take on life with a new found freedom. ( Please don't use your freedom to do something stupid it'll freak me out)
Our son really enjoyed his Freshman year at East High despite a rough start. He's ending on a high note ( so far finals are next week) playing his final volleyball tournament this past Saturday. He has discovered he really loves it and wants to keep playing over the summer to improve his skills so he can come back better and stronger for next year. I remember loving volleyball, now I just sit and cheer. I personally made it a goal to be at every single one of his games this season, encouraging my daughters to come and join in ( I think they missed only once or twice), it was really important to me that he have that support. Even Dad got in a few games, mostly varsity but still.
We are definitely counting down our vacation still, we desperately miss the Alberta Rocky Mountains and can't wait to get back to them ( mostly cause they smell good). It's becoming a bit of a challenge, having pets, to find people available to help us look after them but we're working on it hopefully no kitty hotels for us ( honestly Psycho will pitch an absolute fit). Since it'll be so hot by the time we leave we decided camping that time of year probably a bad thing ( I will melt like the wicked witch of the west it won't be pretty) although we really do love to camp so we're still debating bringing camping gear just in case. We can't wait! So excited!
With two teenagers in high school and a daughter repeating an extra year of preschool ( she started a year early at 3 years old) it has been exceptionally busy this year. To top that off my husband, dr physicist laser boy (his official name in his mind), has been extraordinarily busy with marine systems and I became a cub scout leader in February. Not to mention all the teen dances including prom, all the awards nights end of school banquets and graduating from preschool. Albeit fun and adventurous it will be much deserved to play in the pool with my five year old and suntan with a book. I look forward to having time to do projects around the house, working on our yard ( when it's not 100% humidity), and taking the kids to the mall or a movie or whatever. Whatever we want.
I am truly thankful for this past year. Our family has accomplished a lot looking back and hope to have more time to accomplish more personal goals and spending more time together. I feel like I'm counting down the hours, not just the days, to the first day I get to sleep past 5 and have a day with nothing scheduled on the calendar. More ups than downs, and it's always awesome to watch your kids grow up and discover who they are and want they want to be in life. I know for our eldest daughter Brittany that has been a struggle this year. She established she wants to go to college but had a really hard time determining for what! It made her excited, scared, frustrated ( there were tears) but I think she has a handle on it now. So far..........hmmm.......I think she said nurse? At any rate I'm happy for her to be able to finish her senior year (2016) and take on life with a new found freedom. ( Please don't use your freedom to do something stupid it'll freak me out)
Our son really enjoyed his Freshman year at East High despite a rough start. He's ending on a high note ( so far finals are next week) playing his final volleyball tournament this past Saturday. He has discovered he really loves it and wants to keep playing over the summer to improve his skills so he can come back better and stronger for next year. I remember loving volleyball, now I just sit and cheer. I personally made it a goal to be at every single one of his games this season, encouraging my daughters to come and join in ( I think they missed only once or twice), it was really important to me that he have that support. Even Dad got in a few games, mostly varsity but still.
We are definitely counting down our vacation still, we desperately miss the Alberta Rocky Mountains and can't wait to get back to them ( mostly cause they smell good). It's becoming a bit of a challenge, having pets, to find people available to help us look after them but we're working on it hopefully no kitty hotels for us ( honestly Psycho will pitch an absolute fit). Since it'll be so hot by the time we leave we decided camping that time of year probably a bad thing ( I will melt like the wicked witch of the west it won't be pretty) although we really do love to camp so we're still debating bringing camping gear just in case. We can't wait! So excited!
Monday, May 4, 2015
Aiming High
It's so great to take a break from the world! ( and your kids and house) It took us an extra 2 weeks to be able to enjoy our Anniversary but we finally got the chance and even though it was going to be short ( one overnighter), knowing that going into it made us more committed than ever to spend time together. Talk things out that might be bothering us about family or friends or kids or even each other. To be able to show kindnesses and affection without interruption. It made us look at just how busy life can get and how vital our relationship is to our family.
We were all smiles and giggles the entire time. Not always the case but seeing that we are fully capable of these happy feelings we are going to work really hard on keeping it in our daily lives. Hand holding, kissing, hugging are already in our daily 'routine', it annoys the kids but oh well lol. But how often do we shut and lock the door just to have a conversation without interruption? Like never! When we try to discuss things we are constantly distracted by our kids suddenly having questions or concerns right when we're in the middle of it and it almost always turns into a bit of an argument because in turn we will mishear each other or be annoyed with the interruptions. So when we have important things we need to discuss and usually find a quiet corner of the house we've discovered they'll find the corner. We need a locked bedroom door or even a drive away from the house where we can speak. Totally worth it to be able to hear each other and keep the flow of the conversation, it goes super smoothly and we seem more considerate of each other's opinions when we can actually hear it thoroughly. Which in turn makes us better parents because we can't get caught in a dispute in front of them making them nervous or uncomfortable.
We have learned that the distance we have felt from each other, that lonely marriage feeling, was due to our busy schedules and by the time we got home we just wanted a hot meal, maybe a little tv and sleep. Finding time for each other was always on the back burner. We were lucky to find that our loving relationship was easily rekindled by taking a short break from the world around us and focusing just on our relationship first. That means phones off people! Kids can't be happy without happy parents and parents can't counsel dramatic kids if they're struggling themselves. All it will take is committing to a date every week but we've decided at a movie you can't speak, and at a restaurant you are constantly interrupted by the waitress so we have to figure something else out. Maybe takeout and a quiet park? In the winter we're reaaalllyyy going to have to find something! Other than hiding in a parking lot with the heater on I can't think of anything but we have all summer to figure it out!
Just because we're happy doesn't mean our kids will always be happy but working on our happiness in our marriage creates a foundation that is stable and makes life's challenges much easier to face. It also boosts our self confidence. We feel better about ourselves and our capabilities as husband and wife and as parents. We do better on our own knowing that we are working together towards common goals than we do worrying about the little things that can easily consume us.
The questions we ask ourselves can be brutal ladies! Am I too fat/too thin? Am I smart enough/stupid? Does my spouse still love me? Am I being a good parent? Am I doing enough for the community/neighbors? Maybe I'm not worth liking/spending time with. Then you start answering the questions with answers like, no one really likes me I'm not worth it. Everyone's staring at me judging me because I don't look like them. My spouse should find someone better than me they deserve it. My kids deserve better than I can offer. Believe me when I say this: You are just fine! Everyone has flaws that everyone needs to work on and it's a personal thing. It's extremely hard to overcome those flaws if you don't first find a way to love you. Your relationship with yourself if it's a good one will branch out to others and create good solid ground to build new relationships.
I am so grateful that I got the chance to spend that 'quality' time with my husband this weekend. It was nice to feel joy and peace and not be bombarded by such a demanding schedule. With this confidence boost I look forward to my exercise and feel a wonderful determination to keep going. I know we'll still have ups and downs life is like a crazy roller coaster you never know where the twists and turns will be but I have to say at the moment it's a lot easier to take.
We were all smiles and giggles the entire time. Not always the case but seeing that we are fully capable of these happy feelings we are going to work really hard on keeping it in our daily lives. Hand holding, kissing, hugging are already in our daily 'routine', it annoys the kids but oh well lol. But how often do we shut and lock the door just to have a conversation without interruption? Like never! When we try to discuss things we are constantly distracted by our kids suddenly having questions or concerns right when we're in the middle of it and it almost always turns into a bit of an argument because in turn we will mishear each other or be annoyed with the interruptions. So when we have important things we need to discuss and usually find a quiet corner of the house we've discovered they'll find the corner. We need a locked bedroom door or even a drive away from the house where we can speak. Totally worth it to be able to hear each other and keep the flow of the conversation, it goes super smoothly and we seem more considerate of each other's opinions when we can actually hear it thoroughly. Which in turn makes us better parents because we can't get caught in a dispute in front of them making them nervous or uncomfortable.
We have learned that the distance we have felt from each other, that lonely marriage feeling, was due to our busy schedules and by the time we got home we just wanted a hot meal, maybe a little tv and sleep. Finding time for each other was always on the back burner. We were lucky to find that our loving relationship was easily rekindled by taking a short break from the world around us and focusing just on our relationship first. That means phones off people! Kids can't be happy without happy parents and parents can't counsel dramatic kids if they're struggling themselves. All it will take is committing to a date every week but we've decided at a movie you can't speak, and at a restaurant you are constantly interrupted by the waitress so we have to figure something else out. Maybe takeout and a quiet park? In the winter we're reaaalllyyy going to have to find something! Other than hiding in a parking lot with the heater on I can't think of anything but we have all summer to figure it out!
Just because we're happy doesn't mean our kids will always be happy but working on our happiness in our marriage creates a foundation that is stable and makes life's challenges much easier to face. It also boosts our self confidence. We feel better about ourselves and our capabilities as husband and wife and as parents. We do better on our own knowing that we are working together towards common goals than we do worrying about the little things that can easily consume us.
The questions we ask ourselves can be brutal ladies! Am I too fat/too thin? Am I smart enough/stupid? Does my spouse still love me? Am I being a good parent? Am I doing enough for the community/neighbors? Maybe I'm not worth liking/spending time with. Then you start answering the questions with answers like, no one really likes me I'm not worth it. Everyone's staring at me judging me because I don't look like them. My spouse should find someone better than me they deserve it. My kids deserve better than I can offer. Believe me when I say this: You are just fine! Everyone has flaws that everyone needs to work on and it's a personal thing. It's extremely hard to overcome those flaws if you don't first find a way to love you. Your relationship with yourself if it's a good one will branch out to others and create good solid ground to build new relationships.
I am so grateful that I got the chance to spend that 'quality' time with my husband this weekend. It was nice to feel joy and peace and not be bombarded by such a demanding schedule. With this confidence boost I look forward to my exercise and feel a wonderful determination to keep going. I know we'll still have ups and downs life is like a crazy roller coaster you never know where the twists and turns will be but I have to say at the moment it's a lot easier to take.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Profound Spiritual Realizations
It's one thing to know the scriptures, to be able to recite them at a moments notice relevant to the conversation or to have a basic understanding of their truths and meanings. Through the power of the Holy Ghost we can receive personal witness and revelation pertaining to these truths and when He manifests a true understanding of these things they become burned in our hearts and souls never to be separated from us unless we excuse them. I have had two seemingly simple ideas, theories, principles take on a much deeper meaning. For some reason I feel compelled to share them.
Bear with me as explaining something that you comprehend in such a profound way is very hard to describe in words but I'll try. The story of the prodigal son where his son wants his inheritance now and takes off despite his father asking him to stay but as a good father would accepting his son has made his choice and giving it to him. The son then basically wastes it on parties and such when he has absolutely nothing left to his name sheepishly returns to his father's house expecting to be put in his place and hear I told you so. But that's not what he received. He received hugs and kisses and a feast and a party for his return home. His father rejoiced in his return with such joy and thankfulness. Similar to Christ speaking of the 100 sheep and one that was lost. How much He rejoices in the return when the one is found. The 99 sheep He didn't have to worry about quite as much they already had a testimony of Him, His existence and His teachings and they chose to follow Him. But that one that wanders off do to unbelief, was deceived and seduced by the glamour and riches of the world or maybe endured some experience or trauma that made them think that God can't exist if there is struggle is the one He worries about the most.
As a parent and after much pondering and certain experiences recently in my own life I have such a profound understanding of just how sacred and joyous this event of the one sheep found or the son returning home is to our Father in Heaven. He desires all of His children to be happy and to find true joy that will last eternity. He has established families to help us be strengthened and nurtured on earth and to gain experiences that help us grow and become more like Him. Of course having free agency we can choose for ourselves to take our inheritance and leave or to stay and labor in the fields learning what we need to, to be truly happy. How do you describe a feeling that encompasses pure joy and love mixed with a peaceful state of happiness? I keep struggling to find the words to explain it. His love for his children exceeds any other emotion in this world. It's so powerful and so real. So sacred and beautiful. That hope for your children to succeed and find their way home knowing that some may never return. We are His happiness.
The second was a much better understanding of what Christ's ministry was on the earth. I know He was here to set a perfect example to follow, to share Heavenly Father's teachings and to establish His Church here on the earth with a Presidency and twelve apostles, with Bishops and missionary work. To establish the gospel and Priesthood authority and to introduce the sacrament and it's meaning and to change the law of Sacrifice. To atone for the sins of the world in the Garden of Gethsemane and to overcome death to give us eternal life by becoming resurrected. This might seem so much simpler now having pointed out a lot of big things that He did but it's a very important principle that I understand really well now.
When watching a movie I noticed this man that they honored, respected and loved who was willing to save them from certain end and gave them hope to endure. They would wait to get a glimpse of him when he left his house bearing gifts of whatever they had to spare and would follow him with delight and happy energy telling him they believed in him. Then I thought that sounds like something people who followed the Savior might have done. He didn't need the stuff, but He accepted it because He knew how much it meant to them to give it. He didn't need the bowing or worship but accepted it as a sign of the people's love and affection for Him and for most of His followers that was all they had to offer. He loved them so much. So much. What He wanted them and us to understand is that He wanted us to hear His teachings and sermons. To ponder them, pray to better understand them. He wants us to go forth and share them. He desires everyone to have the opportunity to hear His teachings, His miracles, feel His love for us, believe in His name, accept His Atoning Sacrifice for us and to gain eternal life. He set the perfect example of what He needs us to do. To love others, to be charitable and kind. To let people accept or reject His message according to their own free will and choice. To partake of the Atonement and repent so that we can return to our Father in Heaven. What He needs us to do is share these things with the world and let the world one individual at a time decide for themselves what to believe and respect their decisions to accept or reject it as He did. All He's asking us to do who believe in His name and on Him is to try.
He never said it would be easy, He only said it would be worth it. Go forward with faith and endure to the end with courage and patience and love. I hope that the magnitude of what I've learned is conveyed even at all. Like I said it's hard to describe the feelings and understandings of my heart and I'll keep trying. I hope and pray that you will find your true happiness and return home.
Bear with me as explaining something that you comprehend in such a profound way is very hard to describe in words but I'll try. The story of the prodigal son where his son wants his inheritance now and takes off despite his father asking him to stay but as a good father would accepting his son has made his choice and giving it to him. The son then basically wastes it on parties and such when he has absolutely nothing left to his name sheepishly returns to his father's house expecting to be put in his place and hear I told you so. But that's not what he received. He received hugs and kisses and a feast and a party for his return home. His father rejoiced in his return with such joy and thankfulness. Similar to Christ speaking of the 100 sheep and one that was lost. How much He rejoices in the return when the one is found. The 99 sheep He didn't have to worry about quite as much they already had a testimony of Him, His existence and His teachings and they chose to follow Him. But that one that wanders off do to unbelief, was deceived and seduced by the glamour and riches of the world or maybe endured some experience or trauma that made them think that God can't exist if there is struggle is the one He worries about the most.
As a parent and after much pondering and certain experiences recently in my own life I have such a profound understanding of just how sacred and joyous this event of the one sheep found or the son returning home is to our Father in Heaven. He desires all of His children to be happy and to find true joy that will last eternity. He has established families to help us be strengthened and nurtured on earth and to gain experiences that help us grow and become more like Him. Of course having free agency we can choose for ourselves to take our inheritance and leave or to stay and labor in the fields learning what we need to, to be truly happy. How do you describe a feeling that encompasses pure joy and love mixed with a peaceful state of happiness? I keep struggling to find the words to explain it. His love for his children exceeds any other emotion in this world. It's so powerful and so real. So sacred and beautiful. That hope for your children to succeed and find their way home knowing that some may never return. We are His happiness.
The second was a much better understanding of what Christ's ministry was on the earth. I know He was here to set a perfect example to follow, to share Heavenly Father's teachings and to establish His Church here on the earth with a Presidency and twelve apostles, with Bishops and missionary work. To establish the gospel and Priesthood authority and to introduce the sacrament and it's meaning and to change the law of Sacrifice. To atone for the sins of the world in the Garden of Gethsemane and to overcome death to give us eternal life by becoming resurrected. This might seem so much simpler now having pointed out a lot of big things that He did but it's a very important principle that I understand really well now.
When watching a movie I noticed this man that they honored, respected and loved who was willing to save them from certain end and gave them hope to endure. They would wait to get a glimpse of him when he left his house bearing gifts of whatever they had to spare and would follow him with delight and happy energy telling him they believed in him. Then I thought that sounds like something people who followed the Savior might have done. He didn't need the stuff, but He accepted it because He knew how much it meant to them to give it. He didn't need the bowing or worship but accepted it as a sign of the people's love and affection for Him and for most of His followers that was all they had to offer. He loved them so much. So much. What He wanted them and us to understand is that He wanted us to hear His teachings and sermons. To ponder them, pray to better understand them. He wants us to go forth and share them. He desires everyone to have the opportunity to hear His teachings, His miracles, feel His love for us, believe in His name, accept His Atoning Sacrifice for us and to gain eternal life. He set the perfect example of what He needs us to do. To love others, to be charitable and kind. To let people accept or reject His message according to their own free will and choice. To partake of the Atonement and repent so that we can return to our Father in Heaven. What He needs us to do is share these things with the world and let the world one individual at a time decide for themselves what to believe and respect their decisions to accept or reject it as He did. All He's asking us to do who believe in His name and on Him is to try.
He never said it would be easy, He only said it would be worth it. Go forward with faith and endure to the end with courage and patience and love. I hope that the magnitude of what I've learned is conveyed even at all. Like I said it's hard to describe the feelings and understandings of my heart and I'll keep trying. I hope and pray that you will find your true happiness and return home.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Families Are a Grand Invention
I am truly grateful for my children. I know sometimes they feel like we aren't committed to them in some way, or that we don't care about the things they care about but we do. It's an interesting journey for us as parents as we watch our high school students navigate their way to adulthood. It doesn't always go their way. We all wish we could get what we want when we want it. It's almost a blessing in disguise to have a 5 year old in the home with her occasional temper tantrums when things don't go her way. It's annoys the heck outta the two older kids and as a result they do it sparingly if at all. Temper tantrums I mean.
We are very committed to loving them, nurturing them, but we no longer reach out every time they fall down because we also have faith in them. Faith that we have taught them well and that they are capable of more challenges than they realize. We understand and I myself have a profound respect for the gift of agency. If they mess up there are consequences they might not like to face but if we let them they learn and grow. If they do well and succeed there are consequences there too with the rewards of blessings and knowledge and a boost to their confidence in themselves. They might disagree still quite a bit that we don't always bail them out or agree with things they choose to do and say but they know how much we love them. I thank God for that every day. My children know that I love them without a shadow of a doubt.
Families are such a precious and wonderful thing. They annoy us, steal our clothes, mess up our houses, break our stuff, hug us when we're upset, offer words of encouragement when we need a lift and many more things that we think we could do with or without but if we're honest can't live a day without and would miss the chaos. Of course we prefer the peaceful silences I really do miss reading. I have so many books and have taken my mind on so many journeys it would be nice to do it again but life is busy. I would miss the fighting, yes I said fighting sometimes their retorts are marvelously clever. I would miss the mess, to an extent let's not get crazy my clean house lasts about five minutes because by the time I'm finally done they come home. I would miss the laughter. Hearing them in the next room watching a movie altogether on the couch or seeing them play at a camp ground or a park. I would miss talking to them and hearing about their days and all the things that excite them as well as all the things that are troubling them. Families are a grand invention.
Just when I think I have everything finally figured out, everyone's schedules, everyone's moods they change and I have to start all over again. But I can feel it strengthening and changing me in the process. A blessing that you don't always notice but it's there. What would we be without a family?
How lonely would we tolerate our lives to become? It's not always easy getting along. Sometimes we do things that are unforgivable but we should always forgive. Forgiveness does not imply giving in or enabling bad behavior. It's a gesture of love and affection that says we understand what you did was wrong but we still love you and want the best for you. It's hard to swallow pride, and forgive. It's hard to forgive without an apology or some kind of acknowledgement to at least attempt to take away the hurt we can feel. Do it anyway.
I am so eternally grateful for my husband, Nathan. Whenever I'm flustered and want to give up he simply takes care of it in such a perfect way that I have to admire. We don't always agree on punishments for kids but if one of us is disciplining and the other isn't home or in the room and we don't have time to discuss it, aka we blurted out a punishment, we are good to back each other up. Enforcing is both of us and we usually discuss the blurted punishment and try to find ways to usually lessen it without taking it away completely. Tough but we're getting pretty good at that. I love that when he's at a loss and isn't sure what to do I have no trouble putting thoughts to action and doing what I can to fix what isn't working. I love talking to him, sometimes he tends to like discussions more than a simple conversation albeit interesting. I love staring at him still to this day after almost eleven years of marriage. I love that together as far as an US is concerned we haven't changed that much and still want the same things and still work hard at our relationship. Even if we're mad at each other over a stupid fight we just had lol.
The overall scheme of things? Families are a grand invention. A lot of work, but magnificent. The rewards and laundry are endless, the pay is terrible, the jobs are difficult with little to no help from your roomates, but worth it entirely.
We are very committed to loving them, nurturing them, but we no longer reach out every time they fall down because we also have faith in them. Faith that we have taught them well and that they are capable of more challenges than they realize. We understand and I myself have a profound respect for the gift of agency. If they mess up there are consequences they might not like to face but if we let them they learn and grow. If they do well and succeed there are consequences there too with the rewards of blessings and knowledge and a boost to their confidence in themselves. They might disagree still quite a bit that we don't always bail them out or agree with things they choose to do and say but they know how much we love them. I thank God for that every day. My children know that I love them without a shadow of a doubt.
Families are such a precious and wonderful thing. They annoy us, steal our clothes, mess up our houses, break our stuff, hug us when we're upset, offer words of encouragement when we need a lift and many more things that we think we could do with or without but if we're honest can't live a day without and would miss the chaos. Of course we prefer the peaceful silences I really do miss reading. I have so many books and have taken my mind on so many journeys it would be nice to do it again but life is busy. I would miss the fighting, yes I said fighting sometimes their retorts are marvelously clever. I would miss the mess, to an extent let's not get crazy my clean house lasts about five minutes because by the time I'm finally done they come home. I would miss the laughter. Hearing them in the next room watching a movie altogether on the couch or seeing them play at a camp ground or a park. I would miss talking to them and hearing about their days and all the things that excite them as well as all the things that are troubling them. Families are a grand invention.
Just when I think I have everything finally figured out, everyone's schedules, everyone's moods they change and I have to start all over again. But I can feel it strengthening and changing me in the process. A blessing that you don't always notice but it's there. What would we be without a family?
How lonely would we tolerate our lives to become? It's not always easy getting along. Sometimes we do things that are unforgivable but we should always forgive. Forgiveness does not imply giving in or enabling bad behavior. It's a gesture of love and affection that says we understand what you did was wrong but we still love you and want the best for you. It's hard to swallow pride, and forgive. It's hard to forgive without an apology or some kind of acknowledgement to at least attempt to take away the hurt we can feel. Do it anyway.
I am so eternally grateful for my husband, Nathan. Whenever I'm flustered and want to give up he simply takes care of it in such a perfect way that I have to admire. We don't always agree on punishments for kids but if one of us is disciplining and the other isn't home or in the room and we don't have time to discuss it, aka we blurted out a punishment, we are good to back each other up. Enforcing is both of us and we usually discuss the blurted punishment and try to find ways to usually lessen it without taking it away completely. Tough but we're getting pretty good at that. I love that when he's at a loss and isn't sure what to do I have no trouble putting thoughts to action and doing what I can to fix what isn't working. I love talking to him, sometimes he tends to like discussions more than a simple conversation albeit interesting. I love staring at him still to this day after almost eleven years of marriage. I love that together as far as an US is concerned we haven't changed that much and still want the same things and still work hard at our relationship. Even if we're mad at each other over a stupid fight we just had lol.
The overall scheme of things? Families are a grand invention. A lot of work, but magnificent. The rewards and laundry are endless, the pay is terrible, the jobs are difficult with little to no help from your roomates, but worth it entirely.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Why is it so hard?
Criticism for our family usually comes in waves. It'll start with one person's comment or action to one of us and then it seems others follow and before you know it all of us are getting a heaping dose of it. I understand that nobody's perfect, our family is aware of that. We love spending time together. We are outside building snowmen in the winter, playing tennis in the spring, water parks and pools in the summer and raking leaves and jumping in the piles in the fall. We enjoy playing together and actually have to work very hard to make the time to do that. It almost takes priority on weekends so that all of us have some release from work and school. My favorite time of the week!
The last few days have been outstandingly beautiful here in St Louis and it's impossible to stay inside! There's been bike riding, trampoline jumping, we set up a badminton/volleyball net in our back yard recently, we've played tennis a few times already and for long hours at a time ( we never wanna stop lol) and park trips in the afternoons for our five year old as often as weather permits. We took advantage of the annual jump jump pass at Kokomo Joe's, any rainy day our hours are spent playing indoors, meeting new friends.
We try to make it to church every Sunday, health permitting. Hahaha first one by one we had a cold, then we all got the stomach flu, then we all got another cold with different symptoms and now we're doing pretty good so we're anxious to be active which I love because I definitely need it. Cold weather makes you feel all cooped up and you feel like you're gonna burst when that first warm day, that tease of Spring comes! That was a great day! Followed by sleet and snow the next few days lol.
I love opening all my windows and getting the stuffy winter air out, especially with all these colds jeepers. I actually love attending church and feel disappointed when I never get to go. Bugs me. I like the peace I can find, how it challenges me to think and grow. Wonderful feeling.
I feel uncomfortable lately around people that I felt so comfortable around and for the life of me I can't figure out why. It's almost like I'm not allowed to be myself. I don't go out of my way to be abrasive, or rude in any way. I love to help out. I love to smile at people that look like they need a smile, and hug people who look like they need a hug. I love to feel inspired and encouraged to study the world around me and take it all in. But lately I just feel so uncomfortable.
Why is it so hard to just be yourself and accept that some people will always choose to misunderstand you no matter what you say or do? Offering judgments and criticisms that might have nothing to do with what's even going on in your life. I don't get it. It's hard not to do it, we all work hard not to in this family especially with each other. It's hard to have it happen to you when some easily take you out of context. I'm trying to understand. Trying to not be that way myself, avoid negativity and drama. Am I missing something?
The last few days have been outstandingly beautiful here in St Louis and it's impossible to stay inside! There's been bike riding, trampoline jumping, we set up a badminton/volleyball net in our back yard recently, we've played tennis a few times already and for long hours at a time ( we never wanna stop lol) and park trips in the afternoons for our five year old as often as weather permits. We took advantage of the annual jump jump pass at Kokomo Joe's, any rainy day our hours are spent playing indoors, meeting new friends.
We try to make it to church every Sunday, health permitting. Hahaha first one by one we had a cold, then we all got the stomach flu, then we all got another cold with different symptoms and now we're doing pretty good so we're anxious to be active which I love because I definitely need it. Cold weather makes you feel all cooped up and you feel like you're gonna burst when that first warm day, that tease of Spring comes! That was a great day! Followed by sleet and snow the next few days lol.
I love opening all my windows and getting the stuffy winter air out, especially with all these colds jeepers. I actually love attending church and feel disappointed when I never get to go. Bugs me. I like the peace I can find, how it challenges me to think and grow. Wonderful feeling.
I feel uncomfortable lately around people that I felt so comfortable around and for the life of me I can't figure out why. It's almost like I'm not allowed to be myself. I don't go out of my way to be abrasive, or rude in any way. I love to help out. I love to smile at people that look like they need a smile, and hug people who look like they need a hug. I love to feel inspired and encouraged to study the world around me and take it all in. But lately I just feel so uncomfortable.
Why is it so hard to just be yourself and accept that some people will always choose to misunderstand you no matter what you say or do? Offering judgments and criticisms that might have nothing to do with what's even going on in your life. I don't get it. It's hard not to do it, we all work hard not to in this family especially with each other. It's hard to have it happen to you when some easily take you out of context. I'm trying to understand. Trying to not be that way myself, avoid negativity and drama. Am I missing something?
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Basketball in a life lesson
I come from a small Mormon town called Magrath in sunny Southern Alberta. From the time you can hold a ball you learn three things, how to dribble it, how to shoot it through a hoop and to fight for it if someone tries to take it from you. That's right I'm talking about our staple game of basketball. Not that baseball and softball and soccer aren't our thing too. And of course hockey.
I had the opportunity to watch my daughter play basketball these past few months and they had a very intense game this morning in their tournament. You could see the aggression and effort. You could see their frustration with themselves when they made some mistakes, so adorable for the record by the way. All the parents can really do is cheer them on. We yell things out like defense or rebounds or hustle but what I really noticed is they just wanted fans in the stands supporting and encouraging them no matter what. The laughs and smiles and team effort was commendable and it was nice to see them work so hard together along with self determination to win the game.
I've been playing basketball competitively since I was about 10 years old, grade 5. There was a small handful of us that were allowed to play on the grade 6 team early because the coach saw natural talent and wanted to invite us to nurture and develop it. I miss him terribly as a coach, as a teacher and as a member of the community, Mr Burns Alston. He instilled a passion for the game in all of us that carried with us a long time. His number one priority was your overall endurance, he and wife loved running so naturally he wanted us to become better at it and build up our endurance because let's face it you can't take a good shot or dribble the ball well if you're always winded. I thank him for that lesson because it didn't just apply to ball it applied to life.
You can't always sit on the sidelines you have to get in the game, no one can force you, no one can do it for you. You are the only one that can live your own life. Waiting is contrary to the point of life. Not that you shouldn't be patient for things but work hard to prepare yourself for them in the meantime. Do everything you can so when your called into the game you know what your doing or should be doing and you'll be able to develop experience quickly and more efficiently. Trials and challenges won't seem as hard if you are prepared to meet them.
Also, always and I mean always cheer each other on! Always! Just because you're taking a time out from something and see someone else excelling at it doesn't mean you become jealous or wroth or judgmental. You encourage them, you cheer them on and be happy for their successes. Love others no matter what. In the end your relationship with yourself and your relationship with God will be the two most important things you will ever develop and experience in this lifetime and how you form them and treat them will greatly affect the outcome of your eternity. It's really hard to live with yourself when you're angry or hold a grudge or put yourself down. Find a way to be lifted, find what works for you and like I said just a few sentences ago always cheer each other on.
I had the opportunity to watch my daughter play basketball these past few months and they had a very intense game this morning in their tournament. You could see the aggression and effort. You could see their frustration with themselves when they made some mistakes, so adorable for the record by the way. All the parents can really do is cheer them on. We yell things out like defense or rebounds or hustle but what I really noticed is they just wanted fans in the stands supporting and encouraging them no matter what. The laughs and smiles and team effort was commendable and it was nice to see them work so hard together along with self determination to win the game.
I've been playing basketball competitively since I was about 10 years old, grade 5. There was a small handful of us that were allowed to play on the grade 6 team early because the coach saw natural talent and wanted to invite us to nurture and develop it. I miss him terribly as a coach, as a teacher and as a member of the community, Mr Burns Alston. He instilled a passion for the game in all of us that carried with us a long time. His number one priority was your overall endurance, he and wife loved running so naturally he wanted us to become better at it and build up our endurance because let's face it you can't take a good shot or dribble the ball well if you're always winded. I thank him for that lesson because it didn't just apply to ball it applied to life.
You can't always sit on the sidelines you have to get in the game, no one can force you, no one can do it for you. You are the only one that can live your own life. Waiting is contrary to the point of life. Not that you shouldn't be patient for things but work hard to prepare yourself for them in the meantime. Do everything you can so when your called into the game you know what your doing or should be doing and you'll be able to develop experience quickly and more efficiently. Trials and challenges won't seem as hard if you are prepared to meet them.
Also, always and I mean always cheer each other on! Always! Just because you're taking a time out from something and see someone else excelling at it doesn't mean you become jealous or wroth or judgmental. You encourage them, you cheer them on and be happy for their successes. Love others no matter what. In the end your relationship with yourself and your relationship with God will be the two most important things you will ever develop and experience in this lifetime and how you form them and treat them will greatly affect the outcome of your eternity. It's really hard to live with yourself when you're angry or hold a grudge or put yourself down. Find a way to be lifted, find what works for you and like I said just a few sentences ago always cheer each other on.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Spring Break and Family Time
I love it when we finally get a short break from our scheduled lives. The chance to sleep in, the chance to be a little more spur of the moment. It's great! I guess I was a little disheartened this morning when I discovered my kids had already made all sorts of plans for our break. This year we decided to stay home and have fun, a staycation as people are calling them. I asked the kids weeks ago to think of some fun things to do, it doesn't matter what or how much and we'll have a family meeting about it and plan some of our staycation.
Ah, family meetings. Usually our family meetings are mostly goofing off and talking about silly fun things or making fun of stuff people take way too seriously. Not all of them are that way though sometimes we touch base on serious things that our children or ourselves ( my husband and I) are going through and those discussions are filled with love, and heart, and that feeling that we can pull ourselves and this sweet little family through anything. We try to have these meetings at least 3 or 4 times a month, you know, find out what's going on with our kids without being too intrusive we like that they are finding their independence. This way if there's anything serious going on that they were afraid to tell us we can, as a family, work together to uplift, encourage, and support each other. Sometimes it's not something that any of us can really do anything about but we can support each other in the changes of our lives. I actually love that aspect of our family.
Albeit slightly disappointed that we haven't really planned anything or that we are struggling to, I'm still happy to have the opportunity to spend what time we can together. Two of our children are teenagers so I get it, friends city! I encourage that, just hopefully that's not all they choose to do their parents wouldn't mind a day or two to spend with them. Our daughter is a Junior and I guess it's really hitting us that next year she's a senior and then off to college to live her own life so we want what little time we have left of her in our home because it won't always be like this. Precious, time is.
Speaking of which, we have a glorious opportunity this summer to travel to visit my Husband's family in Utah and celebrate his parents 50th Anniversary woohoo good on ya Mom and Dad that's fantastic! Also we are headed up to Southern Alberta ( where I'm from ) to attend a family reunion on my Dad's side, I'm super excited about that. There will be tons of people I don't recall at all that I get to re-meet ( if that's a thing), lots to introduce my kids and husband to, horses, carriage rides and my ultimate favorite thing....the Rocky Mountains. Ahhh cannot wait just to see them and hike in them and smell the fresh mountain air. I get to see me Mum and Dad and I'm excited to see how they react to our youngest daughter Catie. I think the last time my Dad saw her she was about 2 years old and this girl is a firecracker, super smart, clever and also...bossy. Did I mention I can't wait?!
On a different note, my son who is in the HS cross country team is going to start running with me. I need to find a pace, and I'd like to see how long and how far I can get myself to go. He's really good at running and needs to find his pace also so two birds one stone. This unhealthy body isn't done yet and I'm gonna do the best I can with what I have as long as I can. Aiming to lower my cholesterol, did you know that Diabetics have to have a lower cholesterol than normal? Mine is in the low-normal range for a normal person but the normal-high range for a diabetic. It sucketh! Still, gonna keep trying, gotta keep going. If all goes well my next doctor's visit will be awesomeness.
Ah, family meetings. Usually our family meetings are mostly goofing off and talking about silly fun things or making fun of stuff people take way too seriously. Not all of them are that way though sometimes we touch base on serious things that our children or ourselves ( my husband and I) are going through and those discussions are filled with love, and heart, and that feeling that we can pull ourselves and this sweet little family through anything. We try to have these meetings at least 3 or 4 times a month, you know, find out what's going on with our kids without being too intrusive we like that they are finding their independence. This way if there's anything serious going on that they were afraid to tell us we can, as a family, work together to uplift, encourage, and support each other. Sometimes it's not something that any of us can really do anything about but we can support each other in the changes of our lives. I actually love that aspect of our family.
Albeit slightly disappointed that we haven't really planned anything or that we are struggling to, I'm still happy to have the opportunity to spend what time we can together. Two of our children are teenagers so I get it, friends city! I encourage that, just hopefully that's not all they choose to do their parents wouldn't mind a day or two to spend with them. Our daughter is a Junior and I guess it's really hitting us that next year she's a senior and then off to college to live her own life so we want what little time we have left of her in our home because it won't always be like this. Precious, time is.
Speaking of which, we have a glorious opportunity this summer to travel to visit my Husband's family in Utah and celebrate his parents 50th Anniversary woohoo good on ya Mom and Dad that's fantastic! Also we are headed up to Southern Alberta ( where I'm from ) to attend a family reunion on my Dad's side, I'm super excited about that. There will be tons of people I don't recall at all that I get to re-meet ( if that's a thing), lots to introduce my kids and husband to, horses, carriage rides and my ultimate favorite thing....the Rocky Mountains. Ahhh cannot wait just to see them and hike in them and smell the fresh mountain air. I get to see me Mum and Dad and I'm excited to see how they react to our youngest daughter Catie. I think the last time my Dad saw her she was about 2 years old and this girl is a firecracker, super smart, clever and also...bossy. Did I mention I can't wait?!
On a different note, my son who is in the HS cross country team is going to start running with me. I need to find a pace, and I'd like to see how long and how far I can get myself to go. He's really good at running and needs to find his pace also so two birds one stone. This unhealthy body isn't done yet and I'm gonna do the best I can with what I have as long as I can. Aiming to lower my cholesterol, did you know that Diabetics have to have a lower cholesterol than normal? Mine is in the low-normal range for a normal person but the normal-high range for a diabetic. It sucketh! Still, gonna keep trying, gotta keep going. If all goes well my next doctor's visit will be awesomeness.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Self Improvement
New Year's resolutions. Hate them! Usually. * winks* The past couple of years I've been in a health battle that I'm tired of not losing but certainly not winning either. I thought I'd have reached more progress by now but that's probably because I have only been doing what I can which lately has been the bare minimum. Had the opportunity to coordinate an event about healthy eating and getting into exercise with app helps and all. Was a fantastic event, one I wish had been better attended as all of these things were so incredibly helpful.
There are some genious ideas out there concerning healthy eating and diet. Stay away from trends and fast 'diets' when I say diet I mean a permanent change, fads are almost always a mistake. It isn't easy changing you habits when you get used to a certain way. I luckily grew up with parents that always made sure there was a garden and fresh vegetables at my fingertips. Now they also have a few apple trees, I believe a nut tree or two, a greenhouse, a garden, and their raspberry bushes have taken off! Makes it easy to eat healthier just having it conveniently around you. So, that's been my first step. Make sure that I concentrate more on fresh fruits and veggies being at the ready than snacky foods to snack on. I'm more likely now to grab some salad, an apple, or yogurt for a snack than junk food. Helps when you limit your snacky foods to the healthiest you can find that everyone will enjoy. Corn chips and salsa are by far a better choice than potato chips and dip. Whole grain round crackers with cheddar slices rather than buttery rounds with american cheese. You'd be surprised how taking your favorite snack and creating a healthier alternative can make such a difference in your dress size but it does.
Being diabetic I already watch my carb intake ( carbs=sugar) so some of these lifestyle changes came because my body said it didn't want the crap anymore it only wants the good stuff. Hopefully this never happens to you, give it the good stuff! I also rarely get to eat chocolate, says the chocoholic, but I do get to have dark chocolate on occasion which I actually like better. I don't know when it happens but somewhere in adulthood things start tasting too fatty and too sugary and sweet. I can barely eat a store bought cake anymore I'd much rather bake homemade and have a thin layer of icing or no icing at all. Tastes better to me.
I also participate on MYFITNESSPAL. Wonderful tool this is! It keeps track of your caloric intake, gives you notes as you enter your food such as good this food is high in protein or be careful this is high in fat. Love it! It also keeps track of my weight goal progression and my daily exercise. When you add your friends you can all see how well you're progressing together. It will automatically show your exercise to encourage each other to participate and keep going as well as showing that you made it under your calorie goals, hopefully. But not too under, then you put yourself in starvation mode and end up storing fat every time you eat instead of your body recognizing you're always getting fed. Six small meals a day does a body good and will actually help you lose weight. Don't forget to drink at least 10-12 8oz glasses of water a day keep cleaning out those toxins and letting your body function to it's fullest abilities.
I have been working on being able to jog again for about 4-5 months now and can jog for longer periods of time. I started working my way up to walking 3 miles in less than an hour ( 40 mins is what my avg turned out to be) and when I finally reached that goal so as not to harm my body and let it build up muscle I started the couch to 5k where you combine running and walking to work up to a nice jog. Not there yet but I am so thankful that I started and I'll keep trying. I have better days when I jog, my mind is sharper, my energy is higher and I'm just a lot more smiley. :)
I am still super ambitious and very hard on myself when I don't reach my goals when I think I should. My body will progress and do what it needs to do the way it was created and I have to learn to be patient. Results that happen overnight are temporary. Results that happen over a slow progression last a lifetime. Hang in there with me!
There are some genious ideas out there concerning healthy eating and diet. Stay away from trends and fast 'diets' when I say diet I mean a permanent change, fads are almost always a mistake. It isn't easy changing you habits when you get used to a certain way. I luckily grew up with parents that always made sure there was a garden and fresh vegetables at my fingertips. Now they also have a few apple trees, I believe a nut tree or two, a greenhouse, a garden, and their raspberry bushes have taken off! Makes it easy to eat healthier just having it conveniently around you. So, that's been my first step. Make sure that I concentrate more on fresh fruits and veggies being at the ready than snacky foods to snack on. I'm more likely now to grab some salad, an apple, or yogurt for a snack than junk food. Helps when you limit your snacky foods to the healthiest you can find that everyone will enjoy. Corn chips and salsa are by far a better choice than potato chips and dip. Whole grain round crackers with cheddar slices rather than buttery rounds with american cheese. You'd be surprised how taking your favorite snack and creating a healthier alternative can make such a difference in your dress size but it does.
Being diabetic I already watch my carb intake ( carbs=sugar) so some of these lifestyle changes came because my body said it didn't want the crap anymore it only wants the good stuff. Hopefully this never happens to you, give it the good stuff! I also rarely get to eat chocolate, says the chocoholic, but I do get to have dark chocolate on occasion which I actually like better. I don't know when it happens but somewhere in adulthood things start tasting too fatty and too sugary and sweet. I can barely eat a store bought cake anymore I'd much rather bake homemade and have a thin layer of icing or no icing at all. Tastes better to me.
I also participate on MYFITNESSPAL. Wonderful tool this is! It keeps track of your caloric intake, gives you notes as you enter your food such as good this food is high in protein or be careful this is high in fat. Love it! It also keeps track of my weight goal progression and my daily exercise. When you add your friends you can all see how well you're progressing together. It will automatically show your exercise to encourage each other to participate and keep going as well as showing that you made it under your calorie goals, hopefully. But not too under, then you put yourself in starvation mode and end up storing fat every time you eat instead of your body recognizing you're always getting fed. Six small meals a day does a body good and will actually help you lose weight. Don't forget to drink at least 10-12 8oz glasses of water a day keep cleaning out those toxins and letting your body function to it's fullest abilities.
I have been working on being able to jog again for about 4-5 months now and can jog for longer periods of time. I started working my way up to walking 3 miles in less than an hour ( 40 mins is what my avg turned out to be) and when I finally reached that goal so as not to harm my body and let it build up muscle I started the couch to 5k where you combine running and walking to work up to a nice jog. Not there yet but I am so thankful that I started and I'll keep trying. I have better days when I jog, my mind is sharper, my energy is higher and I'm just a lot more smiley. :)
I am still super ambitious and very hard on myself when I don't reach my goals when I think I should. My body will progress and do what it needs to do the way it was created and I have to learn to be patient. Results that happen overnight are temporary. Results that happen over a slow progression last a lifetime. Hang in there with me!
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Always Learning
I love to learn. Any question or single thought that enters my mind will and can take me on a wild journey of facts and opinions whether by the internet or books. While I'm studying the one thought or question it almost always leads to another and another. I can spend hours, even days on a single subject just to find meaning and understand it.
Some things no matter how much I research or how many materials I pour through, I am confused. So many contrary opinions and ideas will lead me more to an inner debate that I can't win rather than a simple answer. Leaving me feeling turmoil and chaos rather than some level of peace. I could do without this feeling. I guess with some things, you just never figure it out.
Relationships elude me. I don't think I've ever been good at making new friends or even starting new relationships because I never know what to say or how to act. I'm forever scared I'll say the wrong thing so some assume my silence is arrogance, well it's not. Abraham Lincoln once said, " It is better to remain silent and thought of a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." One of my favorite quotes lol. I believe that friendship is earned not freely given and because of that I call very few friend. It's actually a rarity and one who I call friend should always consider themselves in high regard to me as I don't throw that word around easily or without weight.
I've always been the type of person that if I call you friend I will give it my all. I'll help any way I can, I'll be there whenever you need me, I'll even hang around in the background if you're not sure you really like me right now. What hurts me most and causes me to be selective with my friends are those who can't seem to be kind about me when I'm not in the room. Those who choose to assume instead of asking me outright ( be brave I don't bite), or even those who see my faults the faults I see as the worst of myself and not only choose not to help me overcome or improve them but rather judge me or point them out to others and use them against me. A new pet peeve I've discovered are people who claim to know me and proceed to make up fantasies of things I've said or done. Very puzzling.
Mom's usually always feel inadequate when it comes to their children. Quite simply put we worry about them all the time and worry if we are making the right decisions to help shape them and mold them into active participants in our societies, communities and churches. Not an easy task and some opt not to complicate themselves by adding children to their lives for this very reason, the responsibility of another human being. As much as there are times that I wish I could just be the same person to everyone let's face it that's never going to happen. Everyone perceives life in their own unique way so as a result even though I have a foundation that is the same to all three of my children, yes I treat them differently. The foundations I speak of is the eternal love and reverence I have as their mother that will never change. But even discipline is so unique to each individual. What might work for one child just doesn't seem to fit in with another. This is a hard relationship to work on for me, I wish they'd just all read my mind, understand what I need them to and be happy. Ahhh such a nice dream isn't it?
I have learned over the years in marriage, after a fight, give yourself a few minutes to cry or breathe or whatever it is you need to do to find your patience with your spouse again and then apologize. I am quick to apologize in quarrels for my responsibility in it whether that's raising my voice or even something harsh I might have said that I don't really believe to be true. I do this without worrying if it's reciprocated. I have to live with me for eternity and be able to look myself in the mirror each morning and know that I'm doing my very best in this world. Just like others have to accept their faults and responsibilities for their parts in this world. As a result of being quick to apologize I am also quick to forgive. Trust of course is another issue that has to be earned and sometimes if abused enough never returned, but forgiving and not hanging it over their head again that I have learned to do.
Confidence really affects how we see ourselves and how we see others. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities and talents is an important part of life. Some may choose to be easily offended at the slightest things you do well, usually due to the fact that they can't. That's a jealousy thing and not something you can control when others choose it. I personally am happy for others when they achieve things they've worked hard on, or even marvel at their raw talent and abilities that I may not possess. Why bring them down, we should be supportive and shine that light on them when they are doing something well. If you find yourself withdrawing from people that are good at things you're not I guess that's your choice but if you would like to improve those things withdrawing would be a big mistake as they are right in front of you and can help you improve. Don't compare yourself to them, simply do the best you can, you may never be as good as they are but you will still be better than when you started. I'm always afraid to learn something new or even embarrassed when I have to relearn something I've already done well but forgotten. Can't let that stop me if I find joy in those things now can I.
I don't claim in any respect to have it all figured out, nor do I believe I ever will, but I am trying. That's all I have, I don't have perfection no one does, I have effort and love and commitment. Committing myself to service for my family, church callings, and those in need who ask for it. I will always keep trying no matter how high that hill is in front of me willing me to fall back down and give up. I choose to keep learning and growing. I choose to endure.
Some things no matter how much I research or how many materials I pour through, I am confused. So many contrary opinions and ideas will lead me more to an inner debate that I can't win rather than a simple answer. Leaving me feeling turmoil and chaos rather than some level of peace. I could do without this feeling. I guess with some things, you just never figure it out.
Relationships elude me. I don't think I've ever been good at making new friends or even starting new relationships because I never know what to say or how to act. I'm forever scared I'll say the wrong thing so some assume my silence is arrogance, well it's not. Abraham Lincoln once said, " It is better to remain silent and thought of a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." One of my favorite quotes lol. I believe that friendship is earned not freely given and because of that I call very few friend. It's actually a rarity and one who I call friend should always consider themselves in high regard to me as I don't throw that word around easily or without weight.
I've always been the type of person that if I call you friend I will give it my all. I'll help any way I can, I'll be there whenever you need me, I'll even hang around in the background if you're not sure you really like me right now. What hurts me most and causes me to be selective with my friends are those who can't seem to be kind about me when I'm not in the room. Those who choose to assume instead of asking me outright ( be brave I don't bite), or even those who see my faults the faults I see as the worst of myself and not only choose not to help me overcome or improve them but rather judge me or point them out to others and use them against me. A new pet peeve I've discovered are people who claim to know me and proceed to make up fantasies of things I've said or done. Very puzzling.
Mom's usually always feel inadequate when it comes to their children. Quite simply put we worry about them all the time and worry if we are making the right decisions to help shape them and mold them into active participants in our societies, communities and churches. Not an easy task and some opt not to complicate themselves by adding children to their lives for this very reason, the responsibility of another human being. As much as there are times that I wish I could just be the same person to everyone let's face it that's never going to happen. Everyone perceives life in their own unique way so as a result even though I have a foundation that is the same to all three of my children, yes I treat them differently. The foundations I speak of is the eternal love and reverence I have as their mother that will never change. But even discipline is so unique to each individual. What might work for one child just doesn't seem to fit in with another. This is a hard relationship to work on for me, I wish they'd just all read my mind, understand what I need them to and be happy. Ahhh such a nice dream isn't it?
I have learned over the years in marriage, after a fight, give yourself a few minutes to cry or breathe or whatever it is you need to do to find your patience with your spouse again and then apologize. I am quick to apologize in quarrels for my responsibility in it whether that's raising my voice or even something harsh I might have said that I don't really believe to be true. I do this without worrying if it's reciprocated. I have to live with me for eternity and be able to look myself in the mirror each morning and know that I'm doing my very best in this world. Just like others have to accept their faults and responsibilities for their parts in this world. As a result of being quick to apologize I am also quick to forgive. Trust of course is another issue that has to be earned and sometimes if abused enough never returned, but forgiving and not hanging it over their head again that I have learned to do.
Confidence really affects how we see ourselves and how we see others. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities and talents is an important part of life. Some may choose to be easily offended at the slightest things you do well, usually due to the fact that they can't. That's a jealousy thing and not something you can control when others choose it. I personally am happy for others when they achieve things they've worked hard on, or even marvel at their raw talent and abilities that I may not possess. Why bring them down, we should be supportive and shine that light on them when they are doing something well. If you find yourself withdrawing from people that are good at things you're not I guess that's your choice but if you would like to improve those things withdrawing would be a big mistake as they are right in front of you and can help you improve. Don't compare yourself to them, simply do the best you can, you may never be as good as they are but you will still be better than when you started. I'm always afraid to learn something new or even embarrassed when I have to relearn something I've already done well but forgotten. Can't let that stop me if I find joy in those things now can I.
I don't claim in any respect to have it all figured out, nor do I believe I ever will, but I am trying. That's all I have, I don't have perfection no one does, I have effort and love and commitment. Committing myself to service for my family, church callings, and those in need who ask for it. I will always keep trying no matter how high that hill is in front of me willing me to fall back down and give up. I choose to keep learning and growing. I choose to endure.
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